


Rumours

by WalkingThePlank



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Battle, Character Bashing, Explicit Sexual Content, Final Battle, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hiding, M/M, Magic, Minor Character Death, Romance, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Swearing, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 40
Words: 77,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21525556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WalkingThePlank/pseuds/WalkingThePlank
Summary: Harry discovers that the prophecy says he will die when he faces Voldemort. What if Severus Snape refuses to allow this to happen? A new friendship between a student & professor becomes the strongest force against Voldemort. For Harry, it's a story of how he is saved. For Severus, it's a story of how he really, really shouldn't have fallen in love with Harry. Everyone lives AU. EWE?----Full list of warnings: a few mentions of self-harm (no actual self-harm). Minor character death (muggles, off screen). Violence. Sexual themes. Swear words. This story begins while Harry is still in his seventh year, but nothing sexual occurs while Harry is underage. There will be mentions of Harry with another semi-major character later in the story, but worry not! There will be a happy ending for our boys. Light bashing of pretty much everyone, nothing too bad, though. This is AU in that I kept a few canon themes as they fit my story, but plenty of this is not at all canon. This story pretty well splits from canon midway through PoA, I'd say.This is a slooow burn.
Relationships: Background Harry Potter/Surprise, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 57
Kudos: 548





	1. Chapter 1

"Sorry to disturb, Master Snape. Master Dumbledore requests your presence, sir. He says it is most urgent, sir." The house elf bounced nervously from foot to foot.

Severus groaned and pressed his thumbs into his eyes as he took a deep breath and pulled himself out of bed. He placed his feet on the cold dungeon floor, willing himself into waking. He glanced at the clock on the wall as he pulled his teaching robes back on. Nearly 2am.

"It better be damn urgent," Severus muttered, buttoning the top of his outer robe.

"Oh, yes, Master Snape. It is about Harry Potter," she squealed nervously.

When the house elf was satisfied that Severus would be immediately headed to Albus's office, she disappeared with a snap of her fingers and a POP!

This was one of the few nights that Filius would be making the nightly rounds, and Severus would actually be able to sleep. Severus wanted to begrudge Albus for waking him, wanted to blame Harry Potter for his lack of sleep. He wanted to. He couldn't. He knew that Voldemort had been more active recently. His Dark Mark burned daily, for hours on end. Occasionally it was a summons, usually it was just overflow of Voldemort's high emotions. Severus took deep, steady breaths, attempting to not fear the worst.

Severus felt unsettled. He took the steps up to the headmaster's office two at a time, whispered the password, and entered.

Albus was sat at his desk with his chin resting atop his steepled fingers, as if it weren't the wee hours of the morning.

"What is so urgent it couldn't wait for daylight?" Severus's voice lacked it's normal acidity.

"It's Harry."

"Yes, I figured as much. What has the idiot done now?"

Albus raised a sad eyebrow and took a deep breath. The man seemed tired, in the way one is tired after fighting a war for far too long, sleeping on battlefields, tending to wounds, organizing troops.

"You know that isn't why I called upon you. He's done nothing wrong."

Severus nodded. "When you call me this late about Harry Potter, when there has been this much Death Eater activity…"

"He's fine, at the moment."

"Get on with it, Albus."

"I believe him to be suicidal."

Severus was stunned. "That couldn't be. He's too loyal to the cause. He knows we need him. I cannot believe he'd ever harm himself."

"The desires and the actions do not always align. I believe he will face Voldemort. I do not, however, believe he intends to live through it."

"Suicide via Dark Lord," Severus said bitterly, understanding, as he had once been of that state of mind, as well. Albus must have known that.

Severus lowered himself slowly to sit in the velvet chair across from Albus. The boy had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He'd had that weight his entire life. Of course, he was bound to buckle under the pressure eventually. Still, to hear he had these thoughts, caused a pain in Severus that he couldn't quite name. He found the boy to be utterly loathsome, but he was still Lily's son and he was also the one who needed to live longer than Voldemort. Severus was a cynical man, but he was practical. He knew, that after Voldemort's fall, the wizarding world would need Harry. They needed someone to look to, to provide hope, to make them feel safe once more. And although Harry would only be a symbol, which Harry would hate, it was still something the public would need. They all relied on Harry to continue with their post-war lives.

"What do you expect me to do about it? I could brew him some Dreamless Sleep, let his mind receive some rest and feel a bit more emotionally stable. However, I cannot say how effective it would be."

Albus sighed and shook his head. "No, dear boy. What I am requesting from you would be a bit more _personal_ than that."

Request? Severus scoffed. Albus never requested. He just gently demanded, sometimes so subtly, one might think it was their own idea to begin with.

"Anything you request, Albus."

"He's not been experiencing nightmares, rather complete insomnia. I see him. He walks around the castle all night, under that cloak of his. He's wandering the castle as we speak. I suppose he is seeking answers from his own mind. I cannot be sure. Would you walk with him, Severus? I know the two of you aren't quite friends. However, you are allies, ultimately. You've felt lost before, the way he feels now."

"I am not a therapist. I have classes in the morning."

"Severus, please."

"Does he not have friends?"

"You know he does. You also know there are things he cannot discuss with them, just as there are things that _we_ cannot tell _him_."

"You want me to be his friend." Severus stated plainly. He was dumbfounded.

Albus took a deep, calculating breath. "Yes."

"Albus, I despise that dreadful child and he knows it."

The old and weary headmaster arched a grey, bushy eyebrow, his lips were a thin, straight line. It was his _I know what I'm doing, don't argue_ look.

Severus conceded.

"Thank you for your time, Severus. I believe you will cross his path on your way back to the dungeons."

Severus grit his teeth so hard he thought he might break his own jaw. He stood and left the Headmaster's office, fully intending to obey the man just as he always did.

Severus was swearing under his breath before he even closed the office door behind him. He was internally kicking himself the entire trek down the first staircase. By the time he reached the dungeons he was asking 'Merlin, why? Why me? Why am I the one who must be Potter's night shift wet-nurse?' Severus was just short of beginning to pray for his own death when he turned the corner towards his room and ran smack into an invisible body.

Severus sighed. "Potter, I know you're there." He waited a few moments, but Harry did not reveal himself. "You're not in any trouble," he added.

Albus would be correct in where Harry would be at that moment. He always seemed to know just where the seventh-year was at any moment. Severus reached out and grasped the invisibility cloak and pulled it from Harry's person, revealing the sheepish smile of the student before him.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck shyly. "Erm… Hi, Professor."

"Why aren't you in Gryffindor tower?" Severus scowled down at him.

"I can't sleep." Harry moved to jerk his cloak back from him, but Severus moved his hand behind him, effectively blocking the young man's efforts.

"Lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, then."

"I like to walk around the castle. It tires me, helps me find a little bit of sleep… sometimes I walk around the lake."

"You go outside… alone… at night… Are you out of your blasted mind? There are hundreds of people who would love to see you dead, including an insanely powerful madman!"

"I obviously know that. Why the fuck do you think I can't sleep?"

Severus raised an eyebrow in warning. Honestly, he was amused at hearing the young man swear but, as a professor, he couldn't allow the offense to go unnoticed.

"Sorry, professor, not much of a filter when I'm sleep deprived it seems."

Severus sighed. It was time to babysit, he supposed.

"Have you adequately tired your body for the evening?"

"Not as of yet."

"Well, I'm keeping this." Severus indicated the cloak still in his fist. "However, I'll accompany you for a short while."

Instant shock overtook Potter's face. "What? Why? I could just go back to the tower. It's no problem, really. I owe that much to you just for not giving me detention for this."

"Come." Severus turned on his heel. After a moment, the student finally hurried after him. Severus's legs were much longer than Harry's. Mind, Harry had shot up like a weed the summer before his seventh year and was now only a head shorter than Severus himself. Still, he struggled to keep up with the older man's pace. 'Good,' Severus thought. 'Tire him more quickly.' Despite the goal of tiring Harry, Severus found that we was, somehow, wide awake.

"Is there a specific round you make on these 'walks'?" Severus asked, really only wondering why the young Gryffindor had been in the dungeons earlier in the evening.

"No, I let my feet do the thinking."

"I could have gathered that by your marks in Potions."

Normally, this would at least garner Severus an intense glare. This time Harry had no reaction. He only shrugged a shoulder dismissively.

Severus continued to walk with the young man for quite a while. He was sure it must be nearing four in the morning. Harry stayed perfectly silent as they walked through the empty, dark corridors. Soon, the two found themselves at the entrance to the kitchens. Harry reached out to push the door open but paused and looked to Severus. Harry smiled apologetically, "We're here anyways. They'll be making breakfast by now, and I'm hungry."

Severus nodded his permission, and motioned for Harry to open the door.

There must have been a strong silencing spell around the kitchen because the dead-silent corridor immediately filled with the sounds of several dozen house elves cooking. They were popping around everywhere, mixing massive bowls of dough, pulling breakfast pastries from ovens, slicing ham, and toasting bread. In all of his years at Hogwarts, Severus had never actually watched any of his meals being prepared. It was something to admire, how the elves all worked in perfect synchronicity to prepare a meal for hundreds of people.

As if reading his mind, Harry smiled at him and handed him a warm pastry, then took a bite of one himself. Severus accepted it and the two leaned against the ceramic-tiled wall and watched the elves work as they ate in silence.

"This has been…" Harry began after swallowing his last bite.

"Yes, Potter?"

"It's just- I liked having someone there with me tonight. You didn't hound me with questions. You expected nothing of me. You were just… there. It was nice. Thank you." Harry stared straight ahead, avoiding Severus's gaze as he spoke.

Severus swallowed hard, suddenly feeling anxious. Or perhaps it was just the exhaustion.

"I could brew you some potions to help with the insomnia."

"It's not that I can't sleep, really. It's that I have so much to think about. During the day I can stay occupied but, at night, I have the peace and quiet so that I can finally think about the things I've had to avoid throughout the day. I can't think when I'm with my friends, or in class, so I think while I walk and once I'm too tired to continue, I go to bed. Well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have no time before morning classes." Harry shook his head and looked down at the floor. "I don't know if this is making any sense," he added quietly.

"It is," Severus said, nearly a whisper. A house elf dropped a stainless-steel bowl. It hit the floor with a loud clang. Both of their heads snapped towards the noise and reached just short of their wands. Severus looked at Harry from the corner of his eye and frowned. Harry already had the same level of paranoia it had taken Severus years to build. The bowl wobbled loudly for a moment then settled.

Severus wasn't sure what possessed himself to open his mouth and say this, but it came out nonetheless, surprising even himself:

"If you need someone to talk to, about all of these thoughts, I'd not be wholly against walking with you again in the future."

Severus didn't really have a choice in this matter, damn Albus, but Harry didn't know that and, suddenly, Severus no longer hated the idea either.

Harry looked at Severus in surprise. "I'd like that. Since you're in The Order, I could actually talk to you about things. Sirius doesn't let me talk, really. He hates it when I'm pessimistic. Remus always has so much damn pity in his eyes… And Ron and Hermione can't know the things that we know… and you know how it is trying to talk to the Headmaster."

"Albus always leaves you with more questions than you had before?"

"Yes. Damn him."

Severus laughed. A true, deep-from-the-gut laugh that felt good.

Harry smiled. "I didn't know you were capable of laughing."

"I didn't know you were capable of making me do so."

After escorting Harry back to the Gryffindor common room, Severus was able to sleep a couple of hours before the students would be filing into the Great Hall for breakfast. The sleep wasn't restful, and it was all too short. Luckily, there was an old muggle remedy for that: black coffee.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't like how he stares at you," Ron said suddenly, slamming down his cup of pumpkin juice, causing it to splatter Hermione. She huffed and cast a drying spell.

"Hm?" Harry swirled his fork through his plate of breakfast absentmindedly. Breakfast had come upon him all too soon. He was deathly tired. For the first time since seventh year began, Harry had had restful sleep, just not nearly enough of it.

"Him," Ron whispered across the table. "Snape."

Harry shrugged, but he looked sideways up to the staff table to see that Severus was, indeed, watching him intensely. He met the professor's gaze and held the eye contact. The older man's face was impassive. He lifted a cup of coffee to his thin lips, but still held Harry's eyes with his own.

Harry turned back to his friends.

"He's been watching Harry for years," Hermione said factually as she turned a page of her book.

"What?" Ron and Harry said in unison, both turning towards her.

"What? You've never noticed? This has been going on since first year."

"Yeah, well, probably just because he's bloody Snape and doesn't trust Harry at all. He's always waiting for Harry to fuck up somehow so that he can be the one to punish him. He gets off on it, I'm tellin' ya."

"No," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I don't think that's it. I think he cares for you, Harry. He wants to keep you safe. We are all old enough and _mature enough_ ," she indicated Ron with a pointed look, "to know that he is firmly on our side. He has sacrificed a lot for The Order and that is something to be respected."

Harry looked back to the staff table, but Severus was gone.

Harry took a deep breath, gathered his books, and followed Hermione to History of Magic.

Once alone in the corridor, Hermione turned towards Harry and said quietly, "You were gone longer last night than you usually are."

"Stalking me?" Harry teased.

"I'm taking about a hundred classes, Harry. I wake very early to study. You're usually back before I wake up. Was last night worse than usual?"

"No, erm, actually better."

"Better? How? Get some sleep in a hallway somewhere?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

"Er, no. I had some company. It was… nice… I guess."

"Oh?" Hermione seemed almost jealous, perhaps just sad that she wasn't the one Harry felt he could talk to the night before. "Who was it?"

"Snape," Harry whispered, looking at his boots.

Hermione stopped walking and gaped at Harry. She quickly regained her composure and fell back into sync with Harry's steps.

"At least you're well protected when he's around, I suppose."

In the past, Hermione's statement would have been laughable to Harry. But, Harry had grown and could finally see things for what they were, and he agreed with Hermione. He did feel safe with the professor.

Harry doodled waves, swirls, and concentric circles on his parchment. Binns droned on and on, as he always did. It was difficult to pay attention to the babbling ghost under normal circumstances, but in these days it was downright impossible. Harry was destined to die soon anyways. Harry had no use of historical facts or allegories. He was wasting his time here in this class, in this school. He should be training to fight.

Harry'd heard the full prophecy. He knew he'd not live to see the end of the war, but he could kill Voldemort and spare so many lives. The thoughts that haunted him at night began to invade his mind again in the morning hours. Harry thought about how many people were dying and being tortured right now, while Dumbledore was biding his time. The war could be over by now. Harry couldn't change anything. He knew better now than to try to charge off on his own. He knew that his bullheadedness could only cost more lives. He'd just have to wait for instruction on what to do next. It gave Harry time to wrap his head around the fact that he had a very limited number of days left on this earth.

Harry was going to die.

He just wanted to be prepared for it.

* * *

Severus stood against the stone wall, beneath Harry's own cloak. He'd been waiting only a few moments. He was not a patient man, but he knew Harry would be appearing momentarily.

He heard the Fat Lady's portrait swing open. Harry emerged, looking left and right. The student decided on left and took only a few steps before Severus reached out to stop him, grabbing his shoulder.

"Potter," Severus greeted. He was surprised that his greeting to Harry's back didn't startle him. Then again, there likely wasn't much that could scare him anymore. Harry turned around calmly and smiled. Severus's heart stopped. It wasn't often that a genuine smile was offered to him in greeting.

"I didn't see you," Harry said, still smiling.

Severus held up Harry's invisibility cloak and smirked.

"I'll give this back to you, trusting you will not use it to find trouble."

"I was wondering if I'd be seeing you again tonight," Harry said, draping the cloak over his arm.

Being a spy, Severus wasn't prone to feelings of guilt over withholding the truth. This was likely the first time in years that he'd felt that guilt.

"The Headmaster requested I walk with you," Severus admitted.

A sad smile pulled at the corners of Harry's lips. "I'm not surprised. That man knows entirely too much about my daily habits. And, although I'm sure he is being manipulative here somehow, I'll accept it. I meant it when I said I enjoyed last night, but if you'd like to return to bed, I understand. I'll tell the old coot off in the morning and all will be well."

Severus wasn't sure how to answer, so he began walking down the darkened corridor. Harry followed after him.

The two walked in silence- winding, ambling paths going nowhere and everywhere. It was almost meditative. Severus could see how soothing this could be to Harry. Severus enjoyed his own nightly strolls, but only because it usually ended with him taking ridiculous amounts of points from Gryffindor, and sometimes Ravenclaw. On his own walks, Severus usually thought of lesson plans, or the latest meeting (whether Order or Death Eater), or which potions were currently held in stasis and needed to be tended to. However, this night, and the one before it- Severus found it difficult to think of anything but the student next to him.

Harry suddenly stopped walking. He raised his hands above his head and stretched his back, then yawned.

"Ready to retire, Mr Potter?"

"No," he said softly and shook his head.

"You seem tired."

He touched Severus's forearm. "Please. No. I need this. Just a bit longer?"

Severus could not help but think Harry looked worse than even Albus did on his worst of days, when the troubles of everything around him were feeling like too much to bear.

The two continued in silence but Severus subtly guided their walk back to Gryffindor tower. Harry stepped towards the entrance to the common room and said the password. As the frame opened for him, he turned back towards Severus.

"Thank you, professor."

"Tomorrow night," Severus confirmed the unasked question.

Harry smiled and disappeared into the common room.

Harry had said nothing during their walk. Severus badly wanted to know what was happening in his mind.

Severus stretched out into his bed. It was only 3 a.m. He fell asleep, vaguely aware that his skin still tingled where Harry had touched his arm.

* * *

The next several nights passed in much the same manner. Severus waited for Harry at the entrance to Gryffindor tower and then they just… walked. Usually in silence. Severus wasn't sure what good his presence was doing for his student, but Harry always thanked him at the end, and Severus always promised he'd return the next night.

Harry stretched his arm out to graze his fingers along the exposed rock walls, the candlelight danced along Harry's skin- just enough that Severus could see the marks there on Harry's forearm. Severus stopped dead in his tracks. Was Harry harming himself? Severus grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled it forward to inspect it, causing Harry to nearly collide into Severus.

"What is this?" Severus demanded as he pushed the sleeve up. Looking down, Severus sighed with relief. It was school notes written there, not cuts.

Potter looked down, looking ashamed.

"History of Magic answers for the test I have in the morning. I don't care enough about the class to study, so I wrote the answers there."

Severus nodded and pulled away.

"How many detentions have I earned, then?"

"None," Severus said quietly.

"What? Really? But seeing them just gave you a heart attack."

"I thought they were cuts," Severus said honestly. "I'm relieved that they're not. I don't care that you're going to 'cheat' on your test. I agree there are more important things than a test in History of Magic."

"Cuts? Why would I cut myself?" Potter seemed offended.

"The Headmaster seems to think you're... perhaps suicidal." Severus hadn't clarified with Albus how honest we was supposed to be with Harry, but he had made the decision to avoid lying to him, if at all possible. Severus was not socially inept enough to believe that honesty was a unilateral contract.

The young man stared at Severus. The candles' flickering reflected in Harry's glasses, but Severus could still see enough of his eyes to see that he was hurt by the accusation.

"I _am_ suicidal. Not in the traditional sense, but I am." Harry made unblinking eye contact with Severus. It unnerved him.

"Traditional sense?" He repeated blankly.

"I heard the whole prophecy. Remus and Sirius aren't always great about warding the doors with silencing charms..." Severus remained quiet, waiting patiently for him to finish. "I'm going to die when I kill Voldemort. I know this, and yet I'm willing to do it anyways. I suppose that's a form of suicide, yeah?"

"Is this why you can't sleep at night?"

"Yes. I can't tell my friends. I can't tell anyone. I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll likely never get to fall in love, have children, have a career... I'm not sad or anything. Disappointed, maybe. I'm just ready to end the war to save as many people as I can."

"I think you're wrong."

"No, I heard them talking it's definitely in the proph-"

"-No. No, Potter. I mean I think you could talk to your friends about your concerns. They don't need to know about the prophecy. They've always seemed to be right by your side, you could confide in them."

"I don't want to. I'm trying to… to distance myself from them. When I die, it's going to hurt them. I think it might hurt a little less if I distance myself as much as possible until then. It might be misguided, but I just want to do what's best for them."

And that is when Severus knew. It's when he knew that Harry Potter was not at all who Severus had thought he was. Here, Harry was, staring down his own death and he was more concerned about how his friends would fare when he was gone. It was a selflessness that was likely unmatched by any of his peers.

"Are you positive you're destined to die?" Severus asked hesitantly. Even Severus had not heard of that part of the prophecy.

"Yes," he said. "I'm sure."

Severus grabbed Harry's upper arms and forced him to look into his eyes. "I shall not let you be a martyr; another victim of this war. I _will_ find a way around this."

Something very akin to fury was building inside of him as he searched Harry's eyes. Too many people had been lost already, Harry would not be added to the death toll. Severus swore to himself he'd let himself die before letting Harry reach that same fate.

Harry chuckled bitterly. "Good luck." Harry pulled himself from Severus's grasp and continued making his way back to the dormitory.

Severus didn't sleep that night. He focused on his uneven breathing and pounding heart as he stared into the dark corners of his bedroom.

* * *

Early the next morning he burst into Albus's office.

"He's not suicidal, you utter fool." Severus spat and slammed the door closed.

Albus raised his eyebrows in question.

"Those damn dogs allowed him to overhear their conversation about the prophecy. Is it true he is destined to die?"

"Yes," the old man said calmly.

Severus was fuming. "Well, that would be the obvious answer as to why he can't sleep at night."

Albus took a deep breath and sighed. "I was worried he'd hear of it."

"If he is destined to die, why did you tell me you fear he is suicidal? Just another manipulation on your part, I suspect. You didn't insist I become friendly with the boy for his own sake. Be forthright, Albus! I am demanding it."

"Indeed he is destined to die, but at Voldemort's hands. He shall not perish a second before, or I fear Voldemort's desires will unfold upon our world." There was no pain or worry on Albus's face. It was just the planning of a battle, and Albus was their determined general.

"Why not tell him the truth then? He is willing to die for this cause. He is more mature than you give him credit for. A little truth could go a long way. In the meantime, I am done babysitting your pawn. I have better things to do with my evenings."

Severus, too, was a pawn but he withheld his thoughts on that matter. Severus turned on his heel and strode angrily towards his classroom.

He had a keen feeling that his time with Potter had been good for the boy. But Severus knew himself well enough that this... pity... or whatever it was he was feeling towards him, would soon become attachment. He couldn't allow himself to become attached to anyone or anything, especially not a traumatised saviour who was destined to die at the hands of a dark lord.

Severus took more points from Hufflepuff that morning than he had in years.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry still struggled to find interest in anything happening around him. None of it mattered. Not one bit. Although, when Harry finished his nightly walk, he was aware that he missed Severus. He wasn't sure why the man hadn't shown up for their walk, but Harry wished he had been there with him. Harry chuckled and shook his head. There was no way that he was actually beginning to desire the man's presence, and miss him when he wasn't near- except that he _was_ desiring his presence, and he _did_ miss him.

"Where is your friend Professor Snape?" The Fat Lady cooed at Harry in her high-pitched sing-song voice.

"I'm not sure. He just didn't show up tonight."

She clucked her tongue, "I hope he's feeling well."

The thought hadn't occurred to Harry until then that perhaps the man had been called away to a Death Eater meeting. It couldn't be The Order or else Sirius would have firecalled Harry afterwards to tell him about it (what he'd be allowed to tell him, anyways.) Harry could kick himself. Why hadn't it occurred to him earlier? The older man could be injured somewhere.

Without thinking, Harry turned around and sprinted to the dungeons. From their walks, he knew exactly where Snape's rooms were. Harry paused at the door and gave himself time to catch his breath before lifting his fist and banging on the door.

The door was wrenched open violently.

"Albus, I swear to Mer- Potter?"

"Where were you tonight?" Harry demanded, still trying to catch his breath.

Severus leaned back, crossed his arms, and smirked. "Sorry, Mother, did I forget to ask permission to stay in my own rooms and mark papers?"

"You've been here all night?"

"These are my rooms, so yes."

"Right." Harry moved to turn around and return to his own bed. He felt inexplicably embarrassed. Of course, Severus wouldn't be willing to walk with him every night. It was more than Harry could ask of him. Before he could get very far, Severus's strong hand grasped his shoulder and spun him around to face him once more.

"You were worried about me," Severus said apologetically.

Harry grimaced. Hearing it out loud made him feel like such a dunderhead. Severus Snape had been successfully taking care of himself for decades. He didn't need Harry to be worrying about him.

"You have a dangerous job." Harry looked up at the man who seemed a bit concerned, himself.

"I do. However, tonight, I have been right here. No danger posed to my person at all," Severus assured.

"Good. Er, yeah, good. Right. Off to bed, then."

Severus stepped out into the corridor and closed the door behind him. He nodded his head in the direction of the staircase. The two walked together silently, just as they had for over a week now. But tonight, it wasn't a reassuring silence. Harry felt something hanging between them. Awkwardness? His heart beat quickly, knowing there was something being left unsaid. He didn't want to pressure Severus to tell him anything. He wanted to demand nothing from the man, knowing he'd already given him more than Harry even deserved. Still, he couldn't stop the words falling from his mouth as they climbed the stairs.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Severus stilled. "There are a great many things I'm not allowed to discuss with you. You know that, Potter."

Harry leaned back against the banister, midway up the dark staircase. "I can sense it. There is something you're wanting to tell me, or something you're thinking about- I don't know. But I wish you'd just say it. I can handle it."

Severus hesitated. "I confirmed the prophecy with Albus."

"You didn't have to. I know it's coming. Honestly, I'd have figured it out eventually anyways. I don't know how I ever believed I'd be allowed to survive." Harry's own demise didn't scare him anymore. He could talk about his impending death like he was discussing quidditch or the weather. Harry felt there was more Severus wanted to say, but he didn't pressure him. "Thank you for walking with me. I won't wait for you tomorrow."

"Potter, I-"

Harry waved his hand dismissively and took the rest of the stairs up two at a time. Once he was well enough from the professor, he slowed his pace. He had enough people pitying him, if Severus was now added to that list, then Harry no longer wanted to be near the man.

Hermione was sat in front of the fireplace, her legs crossed, with several books and pieces of parchment around her on the floor. Her brow was furrowed as she looked from page to page.

"It's only 3," Harry said, taking a seat next to her on the floor. "You're not usually up this early."

"I have four tests tomorrow. I can't afford to sleep."

"You're the smartest person I know. You'll be fine on those tests. What is really keeping you up?"

Hermione chewed her lip. "Oh, Harry, I'm worried about you."

Harry thought back to this newfound friendship with Severus Snape. He must be barmy.

Harry leaned back onto his hands. "Yeah. I'm worried about me, too."

* * *

Severus groaned and threw his head back against his pillow. Harry had been correct that there was more Severus wished he could say to him. He had struggled not to stop Harry in his tracks and tell him, "I can't keep doing this! I'm starting to actually give a damn about you! My position does not allow me to care more about your life than is required to defeat Voldemort. So, please, Potter, leave me be!"

He had not said this, obviously.

Severus felt sympathy for him. He felt regret at not seeing sooner that Harry was not the bratty child-celebrity he'd previously thought. He felt an ache that this young man would never get to experience life without the stress of the entire wizarding world on him. Severus felt determined. He would find a way to save Harry from his fate.

"Harry," Severus said out loud to the darkness of his room.

He mulled the name over and let sleep take him.

* * *

Even potions class had not been spared from Harry's inattentiveness. His head was propped up on his hand, his eyes closed, until Hermione knocked it out from under him, causing his head to nearly hit the desk.

"What the hell?" He hissed. She jerked her head towards the professor who was staring at him. Harry shot the dark-eyed man a look which he hoped conveyed a silent apology.

Severus nodded and continued his lecture.

"What is going on with the two of you?" Hermione whispered into his ear.

Harry cocked his head to the side, questioningly.

"Usually he would have taken points and assigned detention for you sleeping in class. What's changed between you?"

Harry shrugged. Harry wasn't capable of explaining what had changed. Nothing. Nothing, really. The man just provided him with quiet company. They didn't have deep conversations or an agreement or anything of that nature. They just had something thick in the air between them, telling them that things were not as they had been before. Apparently more than just he and Snape had noticed it, but Hermione had always been particularly perceptive.

* * *

Harry reached out a hand to push the heavy door open leading to the grounds of Hogwarts.

"I think it's best if we stay in the castle, Potter."

"I can't. I'm going insane in here. I need fresh air, a different scene."

Severus looked skeptical.

"Let me rephrase that, Professor. I mean no disrespect but _I am_ going to walk the grounds. Come if you want." Harry pushed the door open and walked outside. He took a deep breath and surveyed the area, deciding which way to go. He decided on the lake. The lake always made him feel closer to his parents, if only for a moment. He could imagine them sitting together, studying, with Remus and Sirius close by.

Severus pulled his robes tighter across his body and shivered. It was mid-October and the night air had a bite to it.

Harry looked up at him. His profile, lit only by the moon, seemed eerie and mysterious. Harry reached up and ran one finger along the man's jawline.

Severus seemed to tense, but he continued walking.

"What was that?" Severus asked, but continued looking straight forward, even as Harry stared at him.

"I face no repercussions for nearly anything. I won't live long enough to see the effects of anything I do."

"You believe you face no repercussions, and with that, the one thing you choose to do is touch me?"

"Seems that way."

The crisp air, the company, the way Severus's black eyes looked like gleaming onyx beneath the moon... Harry suddenly felt elated and fearless for the first time in nearly two months.

"You cannot think that way. You shall certainly face the repercussions."

"Oh? What are the repercussions of touching you?" Harry asked, teasingly.

Harry stepped in front of Severus and placed a hand over the man's heart, stopping him.

Severus looked down into Harry's eyes. "I haven't decided yet." Severus took a deep breath through his nose. "I am going to find a way for you to survive fighting him."

"So you've said. I won't get my hopes up. I don't even know why you care. I just want to enjoy life while I'm here."

"Is that what you've decided during your long nighttime walks?"

"Yes."

"Then why do you continue these walks? Still more to think about?"

"No. It is what it is. I've just been enjoying the company. Speaking of, will you be here over the long Halloween weekend?"

"Yes. A few of my snakes will remain here, so I will as well."

"I'll stay, too."

"Wouldn't you prefer to be with your godfather or the Weasleys than here alone?"

"I won't be alone." Harry smiled. "I'd rather be here with you."

"That's a mistake. Go to bed."

Harry's breath caught in his throat. "What?"

"Go to bed."

Harry turned back to the castle as he was told, acutely aware of the older man's eyes on his back until he entered the castle.

Harry flopped himself into his bed, seething. Why had he touched the man? It was widely known Severus did not invite touch. And now Harry had made the man not want to be around him. Harry couldn't even say exactly why he had done it. To test the limits of this shift in their relationship? It made no sense to Harry. Just because Severus escorted Harry as he walked the grounds, and now spoke to him as if he were an actual person, didn't mean he was inviting Harry into his personal space. It didn't make them friends. He was just doing what the Headmaster had told him to do, just as he always did.

Harry wasn't ready for sleep, but he feared he would run into the professor again if he left the tower. Harry just couldn't face him right now. He groaned and buried his face into his pillow, remembering that he had double potions in the morning.

That night, Harry didn't dream about Voldemort. He dreamed about Severus. He dreamed he was drowning in the lake, the squid pulling and pushing at him like a cat with a mouse. But, Severus saved him. Just like he always had.

Harry awoke to his scar burning worse than it ever had. Likely, Voldemort was angry… or celebrating.

"Harry! Harry, you alright?" Ron pulled aside the curtains around Harry's bed. Harry rubbed at his scar and blinked up at Ron.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

"Get going, mate. Hermione is waiting for you. Double potions and all that."

"Will you, please, tell her I think I have a cold and won't be going today?"

Ron looked unsure. "Snape won't like that."

"I don't care. He would have to physically drag me out of this bed to make me go today."

Ron sighed. "Alright. I'll tell her."

After most of the Gryffindors had made their way to class, Harry made himself comfortable on the sofa before the fireplace in the common room.

He closed his eyes tightly, and continued to berate himself for pushing Severus away. Somehow, Severus had become important to him. The one person Harry could allow himself to connect with, and now it was over as quickly as it had begun. Ah well, the past weeks had been nice, but Harry would be fine without him.

As if hearing Harry's thoughts, Severus himself burst through the door and into the Gryffindor common room.

"Fuck." Harry sighed and leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"You were not in my class this morning, Mr Potter. That is not acceptable."

"Touching you wasn't acceptable either, and yet I did it."

"Why were you not in class?"

Harry didn't care enough to lie. He simply shrugged. "Didn't want to be there."

"I doubt anyone _wants_ to be in my class."

Harry snorted out a chuckle, then faced the professor. Severus seemed to be looking over Harry analytically.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"It's alright."

"That I didn't attend class? Thanks, but it's not like you can force me."

"No, Potter, I absolutely can force you. I meant it's alright that you touched me."

"But you sent me away."

Severus took three long strides towards Harry and sat beside him.

"I'm not accustomed to it."

"To being touched?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"My position does not allow it."

"To be touched?" Harry looked at Severus doubtfully.

Severus rolled his eyes. "I am a spy. I cannot care about anyone."

Harry blinked quickly. "Right."

Severus ran a hand over his face, then looked around the common room.

"Have you never been in here before?" Harry asked. "I just assumed, since you're a professor and all…"

"I have been here before, but rarely."

"Why are you here? To tell me that you're not allowed to care about me, or anyone, and that I should have been in class? Message received. You can go now."

"You tried to bang my door down when I didn't show up one evening."

"Yeah, I was worried about you," Harry said dumbly.

Severus raised an eyebrow meaningfully.

"You were worried about me?"

"Unfortunately," the man pursed his lips and peered down his large nose at Harry.

Harry leaned forward and threw his arms around Severus's neck, hugging him tightly. Severus did not return the embrace, and Harry slowly let the man go.

"I'm sorry. I won't touch you again."

Severus opened his mouth to speak, but Harry began to scream. His scar burned like actual fire. He clutched at his forehead, and crumpled into the older man's lap.

"Harry?!"


	4. Chapter 4

Harry fell into Severus, holding his forehead and screaming, until he was suddenly quiet and still. Severus tried to shake the young man into awareness, but Harry was unconscious. Severus's heart pounded against his ribcage as he scooped him up into his arms and made his way to the infirmary as quickly as possible.

Students of every house and year stopped and gaped at the sight of Severus nearly sprinting, carrying Harry Potter in his arms.

Finally, Severus placed Harry gently into a bed as Madame Pomfrey ran towards them. Severus's breath was quick and ragged. Harry was heavy. He was no longer the under-fed eleven-year-old Severus had first met. But, a nearly-full-grown, muscular man.

"What has happened this time?"

"He clutched at his head, screaming, then fell unconscious."

Madame Pomfrey immediately went to work, scanning over Harry's prone form then collected vials of potions from the cabinet, which Severus himself had brewed.

Albus joined them quickly.

"Severus. Was it his scar?"

"Yes."

"It's the Dursleys."

Severus couldn't quite understand the meaning behind the non-sequitur. He willed Albus to elaborate.

"They're dead. Voldemort had them killed just this morning."

Severus took a step backwards. "It must be a warning."

"My thoughts exactly. Harry isn't safe here. Severus, you know what needs to be done."

"Yes, Headmaster."

"While he's still unconscious, Severus. Quickly!"

Severus scooped Harry into his arms once more and carried him to the fireplace of the infirmary, one of only four in the castle connected, limitedly, to the floo network.

* * *

Harry heard the scribbling of a quill before he even opened his eyes. He took a deep breath. Surely, he'd be in the infirmary. Well, he made it to the end of October before his first visit. That was a new record.

The scribbling stopped and he felt the weight of someone sitting next to him. A cool cloth was ran across his face.

Slowly Harry forced himself to open his eyes. He blinked a few times but the world around him was still blurry.

"My glasses?" Harry asked hoarsely. They were placed gently onto the bridge of his nose and behind his ears. Blinking again, Severus Snape came into view. And he was not in the infirmary.

"Professor?" Harry tried to sit up but Severus stilled him with a hand on his chest.

"We're in the safehouse. It's the Headmaster's. No one knows where this house is except for you and I, and the Headmaster himself. You're safe here."

"No, I was safe at Hogwarts. Why am I here?"

"No," Severus sighed. "You were not safe there any longer. I am afraid I have some unpleasant news. But, please, you're still quite weak. Please don't sit up."

Harry nodded.

"The Dursleys have been killed in an apparent Death Eater strike."

"They-! They what?!" Severus smoothed his thumb over Harry's chest.

"The Headmaster and I think it was a warning."

Harry's heart pounded. They couldn't be dead. It was official. Harry was the last of his entire family. This couldn't be real.

"Dudley, too?"

"Yes," Severus said, quietly.

Harry squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't want to cry in front of the professor. Still, the familiar burning of his eyes continued, and then the tears began to stream from the corners of his eyes, down his cheeks, and to his neck.

"They were the only blood family I had left."

"But, you aren't alone, Potter."

"I thought there were protections around their house!"

Severus sighed sympathetically. "It happened right in the middle of Muggle Surrey as they shopped. Apparently, aurors are still there obliviating."

The Dursleys were far from perfect, in fact, they were downright abusive. Harry knew this and yet he couldn't help but to mourn them anyways. The tears fell more quickly.

Harry placed his hand over Severus's that was still on his chest.

"Who were the death eaters?"

"I have yet to be told."

"Don't spare me, professor. I want to know who killed my family."

"I would tell you, if I knew," Severus said quietly.

"Then what do you know?"

"The Headmaster sent a letter. Thus far he has only told me that the aurors are still obliviating muggles, that Minerva will be taking over my classes, that he will visit tonight, and that I am to keep you here until further instruction."

"She's taking over your classes? So you're staying here with me?"

"Seems to be that way."

"You're not going to make me do homework and keep up with classwork, are you?"

"Absolutely not." Severus continued to soothingly rub his thumb over Harry's sternum. "I have homework of my own to do while we are here. I won't have time to be teaching you much of anything."

"You have homework?"

"Look at me." Harry turned his head away and closed his eyes tighter. "Look at me," he repeated more sternly.

Harry conceded and looked at the man, finally.

"I do not break promises. I told you I would find a way for you to survive this, and I intend to do just that."

"You can't go around a prophecy like it's a hole in the road, professor. "

"I think you'd be surprised by the things I can do."

The darkness in the older man's voice sent chills down Harry's spine.

* * *

Albus stepped through the floo. Severus looked up from the book in his hands.

Albus looked at the book, then back to Severus. It was a book on prophecies. Albus produced a few shrunken bags from his robes, set them on the coffee table, and returned them to full size. He then produced Harry's trunk and returned it to full size on the floor.

"Just Harry's things, and some food. If you need anything of your own, send me a list and I will bring them on my next visit. You'll find you have spare clothing in the wardrobe upstairs already."

He grunted in acknowledgment and returned to his book.

"Severus, my boy, do you believe I have not tried to find a way around the prophecy? I have found very little."

Severus looked up. "You found little or you found nothing?"

Albus sighed and sat opposite Severus on the sofa. "I found a few things, that ultimately led nowhere."

"Send me your notes on that," Severus demanded.

"I will, Severus, but I think you are wasting your time. The best thing you could be doing right now is to make Harry feel less alone in this world. Help him prepare."

Severus stood suddenly, letting his book hit the floor with a loud thud. "I will be damned if I will just sit down and wait for him to die!"

"You have to," came a voice behind Severus.

The two men looked towards the stairs where Harry stood.

"Hello, Headmaster." Harry continued his way down the stairs and into the sitting room. Harry looked utterly disheveled. He'd been asleep most of the day, still in his pyjamas from the night before.

Harry made his way to the empty chair, passing his trunk of things.

"Thank you, Headmaster. I need a bath terribly. It'll be nice to be in some clean clothes." Harry sat in the chair and smiled cheerily at the two men on the other side of the coffee table from him. "Alright! So, what are we going to do about this?"

"My dear boy," Albus said gently. "You're not in any state to be doing much of anything presently."

"Who killed them? They were the last of my family. I'm not going to sit here and continue to be useless. I'm going to die, yes? Okay then, I've made my peace with that." Harry's face became more serious. "What I have not made my peace with is that you were content to let me waste my time in those fucking useless classes instead of putting me to work. People are out there being tortured right now. They are dying. So, what are we going to do about this?"

Albus's face was so full of pity it made Severus sick.

"Nothing. Not yet. It's not the right time."

Harry slammed his hands down against the arms of the chair. "Then, when will be the right time?!"

Albus stood slowly. "I'll see you gentlemen next week. If there is anything you need, Fawkes will be by to collect any post you have and you may send me a letter."

Albus stepped through the floo.

Severus looked at Harry. "Are you hungry?"

Harry looked at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Professor."

"What ever for?"

"I did a good bit of screaming…"

"You are permitted to scream. You may shout, cry, lash out. The task you are faced with is not an easy one. It would be farcical to expect you to be emotionless."

Harry stood, smiling. "Thank you. Erm, could I help you with dinner?"

Severus smirked. "Do you know how to cook?"

"Yes, actually. Aunt Petunia always-" Severus saw Harry's smile shift instantly back to pain. Harry sniffled once. "Anyways, I always did the cooking at the Dursley's. As soon as I could stand on a stool and reach a stove, I was cooking."

Severus carried the bags to the kitchen and the two sifted through them.

He grimaced. "It seems we are having pasta."

Harry chuckled as he looked down at the table, now piled high with several different types of noodles, sauces, and meats.

Harry said he'd always been fond of fettucine, and so fettucine it was.

The two men squeezed themselves in front of the small stove. Severus cooked the chicken in an iron pan, while Harry heated the sauce and boiled the noodles.

Their elbows and hips continuously made contact. Severus would have insisted he could do it himself, that it was impractical to both try to cook on one stove top, but it didn't seem to bother Harry. In fact, he seemed rather at peace.

Harry and Severus piled their plates with pasta.

They were each halfway through their meals when Harry finally spoke. "How long do you think we will be here?"

Severus took a deep breath and looked around the room as if the walls held the answer.

"With the Headmaster, Merlin knows, but I anticipate we will be here until Christmas, at least."

"I'm sorry."

"Why do you insist on apologizing for everything? If you haven't noticed, Potter, none of this is your fault."

"It's just that I'm sure you'd rather be anywhere than stuck here with me in this old house."

"That is absolutely not true. There are a great many places I'd dislike far more than here… even with you."

Harry smiled a huge, toothy smile at him and Severus couldn't stop the grin that pulled at the corners of his lips.

It was easy to see why Harry had so many people who cared about him. Despite the attention of the public he received daily, which Severus had erroneously believed Harry enjoyed, he had a way about him that made everyone he spoke to feel like they were the only person that mattered in that moment. And, despite his poor marks in potions which would indicate otherwise, Harry was very attentive. He read body language easily and responded in kind, no doubt a symptom of the abuse he'd received as a child. Severus had noticed in his own Slytherin students who'd been abused, that they all read body language, seeking out if what they were doing was pleasing to the adult in the room, or if they were about to receive a beating. Still, it made Harry not an abhorrent conversationalist.

As Harry chewed his last bit of pasta, Severus watched him closely. The boy ate quickly, again another symptom of the abuse he'd endured. It was clear from his tiny frame in his first year that he'd been denied food. Severus had suffered abuse as well, but was always fed. It stirred so many question in Severus's mind that he found it difficult to stay quiet, and so he didn't.

Harry took a sip of water, and Severus watched his Adam's apple bob, the muscles in his neck move. Harry made eye contact with him, noticing that he'd been staring.

"I can always tell when you want to say something, but are holding back," Harry said. Indeed, Harry was astute when it came to body language.

"It's not the time for my questions."

"I've fought Voldemort. I can handle questions."

"If I make you uncomfortable, please tell me so. I was just wondering why you seem so distressed by the loss of the Dursleys. I've come to believe they were abusive to you."

"Yes, they were. Every night I'd lie in that cupboard under the stairs and pray to the universe that someone would take me out of there." Harry grinned. "Hagrid finally did, of course, but every summer I would have to go back and dread it like a march to my own death." Harry swallowed hard and continued, becoming emotional. "Still, Petunia and Dudley were the only blood relatives I had left. They were not wonderful people, but I will mourn them. I loved them, in my own way."

Severus placed his hand over Harry's. Harry continued, "And, no death is a death to rejoice in. I believe anyone can change. Maybe they would have… one day… and that chance has been taken from them."

"Anyone can change," Severus repeated, thinking deeply about those words.

Yet just another way that Harry stood apart from anyone else Severus knew. The boy saw the absolute best in those around him, even abusive muggles. Harry seemed wise and understanding, much beyond his seventeen years.

"Yes. You taught me that."

Severus furrowed a questioning brow. "I did? I doubt I've taught you anything…" Severus began.

"You changed," Harry said, factually. "The headmaster gave you that chance to change, didn't he? Isn't it only right to give everyone the benefit of the doubt?"

Before Severus could respond, Harry looked down at his empty plate. "Speaking of giving people second chances… Do you think the Headmaster would let me see Sirius and Remus?"

"I don't believe he would. No one in, no one out. Save for him, of course."

Harry looked up and added hurriedly. "It's not that I mind being here with you. I don't at all. It's just that I miss them."

"Give it some time here, and I will ask Albus if there is a way for you to see them."

Harry smiled gratefully. One more thing to make Harry different: he was so damned easy to please.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry walked around the main floor, looking in the few doors. A restroom, the kitchen, an office, and a bedroom were all off of the sitting room. The wallpaper was yellowed and peeling. Harry couldn't tell what color the wallpaper had originally been but he thought it might have been pink. He wondered how long Dumbledore had had this house, and if he had kept it just for this purpose- for hiding Harry when necessary. Regardless, Harry was thankful that the house was available to him. He'd rather be at Hogwarts, or at 12 Grimmauld, or at The Burrow… but Severus seemed despondent and that was enough for Harry to believe that perhaps he wasn't safe. His life was at risk, of course, but he needed to lose his life at Voldemort's hands in order to destroy the bastard once and for all. He couldn't die at the hands of some lowly no-name death eater, or else the Order's efforts would be for naught. The lives lost already would have been lost in vain.

Harry took one last look into the empty, dusty bedroom and closed the door.

"If you prefer that room, you may have it."

"No, it's alright. My trunk is already upstairs. Is this your room?"

"Mine is upstairs beside yours."

Harry sat beside Severus on the long sofa, a couple of feet between them. Severus looked up from his book and eyed Harry cautiously.

Harry chuckled, embarrassed. "Don't worry. I won't try to hug you again. I'm-"

"I beg you not to apologize again."

Harry laughed. "No, I was going to say I will respect your personal boundaries."

Severus grunted and continued reading. Harry saw that it was the same book on prophecies he'd held earlier.

"Dumbledore is right, you know. You're not going to be able to stop this. Please quit wasting your time. Just be here with me." Harry placed his hand on Severus's arm, his fingertips atop the dark mark.

Severus looked back to Harry. "I _am_ here with you."

"No, I mean, just accept my fate as I have. Don't kill yourself trying to stop it."

"Potter, I will only say this once more." Severus's voice was stern unlike he'd heard it in some time. "I. Do not. Break. Promises." Severus rubbed his eyes and added quietly. "Not anymore."

"Right," Harry said dispirited. "My mum."

"Yes."

"I'm just going to head to bed." Harry stood but Severus stopped him by grabbing his elbow.

"Wait."

Harry saw panic there in the older man's eyes. The man breathed in deep and looked to the spot where Harry had just been seated. "Please, sit back down." It was perhaps the most tender request the man had ever made of Harry and so he did as he asked.

"I've not… It's that I've." Severus cleared his throat. Harry hadn't heard Severus stumble over his words before. "I need to apologize to you. I'm not one for apologies, obviously. Still, you are owed one. I promised Lily when we were just children, that I would always be by her side. I promised her I'd protect her. I didn't. I will never forgive myself for that."

"No, Professor, really. You don't need to apologize to me. I don't believe there was anything you could have done to save her. But, thank you. I know that was difficult for you to say. Thank you, really."

Severus's hands began to visibly shake. "I thought- I thought that was what upset you… that I mentioned your mother."

"No." Harry couldn't quite put into words what had upset him. He felt badly that his behaviour in that moment caused Severus's seeming undoing. He'd never seen the man so shaken or upset. It was unnerving. Harry appreciated Severus's continuously collected demeanor, and didn't enjoy seeing him behaving otherwise.

"Tell me what upset you, then. You will be living here with me for the foreseeable future. It'd be preferable that we could get along for that time. If I've done something wrong, I'd like to know so I can avoid it in the future."

"This isn't like you. You aren't acting like yourself." Harry couldn't help but be suspicious. An emotional Severus Snape didn't exist in Harry's mind.

"Just tell me," Severus demanded.

That familiar rage boiled up in Harry. He stood once more.

He spoke through gritted teeth to avoid shouting, or worse: sobbing. "You said you wanted to try to save me because of my mother. It was just nice to think you wanted to do that because you just wanted to see me continue living."

"Potter. I said I didn't break promises because of your mother. I fully intend to save you simply for the sake of seeing you continue to live."

Only a few months before, Harry wouldn't have believed that he could ever feel pity for Severus Snape, and yet here he was, standing before the man, wishing he could comfort him. It was the role reversal of his nightmares.

"I dreamt of you last night," Harry blurted.

"A night terror, I presume? Taking so many points from Gryffindor that you're forced to sit out the Slytherin/Gryffindor quidditch match?" Severus attempted to be sarcastic, but he still sounded intensely disheartened.

"No, I was drowning and you saved me. You always save me." Harry ran his finger down Severus's jawline as he had only the night before, although it felt like it had been years. "Maybe you will beat the prophecy. Maybe you can save me."

Harry turned and headed up the stairs and into his room where he had woken only a few hours before.

Harry held absolutely no hope that Severus would indeed save him this time. Still, the man seemed determined. And perhaps hope would help the man through the last of this blasted war that had been being fought since before Harry was even born.

* * *

Severus didn't allow himself sleep until he'd finished the book. And, of course, he found zero answers. But, it was only one book. Severus knew the research wouldn't be easy. With any luck, he'd have Albus's notes on his research soon, and perhaps he could convince the headmaster to bring more books on his next visit. Severus added it to the list he had begun of supplies for him to bring.

Severus looked to the muggle clock hanging on the wall over the fireplace. 2:47. He stepped into the kitchen and pulled down the old, dusty bottle of firewhiskey, broke the seal and took a long drink directly from the bottle.

"I knew you'd still be awake."

Severus leaned against the counter and handed the bottle to Harry wordlessly.

Harry followed suit and wrapped his lips around the mouth of the bottle to drink. The boy took a sharp breath then took another mouthful.

"I take it that wasn't your first drink."

"Of course not. Do you know how many evenings I spent around a fire with Fred and George?"

"I agree, it's difficult to be around them when one is sober."

Harry laughed heartily. "That it is. I just meant there isn't much to do at The Burrow except drink, and the twins excel at drinking games."

"Hm. I've never played one."

"Care to?"

"Absolutely not."

"Please don't tell me you've been sitting here in the dark drinking alone for the past several hours."

"No. Reading."

Harry rolled the bottle between his palms, looking the label over. He sipped from the bottle once more and offered it back to Severus.

"How did this happen?" Harry mused.

"You insist on attracting danger and the headmaster then locked us here in this house."

Harry laughed again. "I just meant that we've become friends, haven't we?"

"I don't have friends."

"Well, you have me. I'm just not sure how it happened."

"It's late. You're being overly sentimental."

"Earlier, you were the one being sentimental."

"Yes, and I'd greatly appreciate if you could wipe that from your memory entirely."

"Not a chance." Harry grinned and looked up at Severus from beneath his thick, black eyelashes. "I was cruel earlier."

"Don't apologize."

Harry sighed. "I won't. Still, I will admit it was wrong of me. You'd told me earlier I was allowed my emotions, and then I was cruel to you for yours. It wasn't fair."

"Life isn't fair, Potter."

"It isn't. But I try to be."

Harry moved to lean against the counter beside Severus, reminiscent of when they'd stood just like this in the kitchen at Hogwarts, watching the house elves cook. Their arms touched. Severus attempted to ground himself. Harry was here. He was still alive. His skin was warm against his.

The two passed the bottle between them for a long while then walked together upstairs and parted ways silently into their respective bedrooms.

Severus listened to Harry cry through the wall. He tried to work up the energy, the courage, to go into the young man's room and soothe him. By the time he felt he could, Harry had fallen asleep.

There was no entertainment here for Harry, outside of talking to Severus. He'd add books for Harry to the list. Or request Albus to let the boy send letters to Remus, Sirius, and his friends. Otherwise, this was going to be a very difficult time for both of them- and there was only so much whiskey in this house. Actually, Severus thought, he'd add whiskey to the list, too.

* * *

It had been a few weeks. Days on days of pasta meals, whiskey in the dark, boredom. Harry wrote letters he knew he couldn't send. He watched Severus read book, after book, after book.

Harry knew the answers weren't there, but he let the professor hope.

Harry lifted his legs and stretched them out on the sofa, propping a book on his legs, a piece of parchment on top of the book and continued writing his letter. The bare soles of his feet touched his professor's thigh.

"That book is not a desk," Severus admonished.

"We don't have a desk."

"There are two tables, however."

"I'm comfortable."

"Your feet are on me."

"They're clean."

Severus rolled his eyes and continued reading.

"I'm bored," Harry bemoaned.

"Read a book. I had Albus bring some for you."

"I have too many problems in my own life to care about the fictional problems that fictional people have."

"I'll ask him to bring some non-fiction next time, then."

Harry glared at Severus, "That's worse."

Severus sighed. He sounded irritated, but Harry knew he wasn't. "Fine, Mr Potter. What would you like to do?"

"Tell me something I don't know about you."

"That would be everything. We'd be here for hours."

"That's not true. I know your middle name is Tobias."

"There you are, then. May I continue reading?"

"Are you dating anyone?"

The scowl that immediately appeared on the man's harsh face made Harry laugh. Still, the man answered. "No. Are you?"

"No. Have you ever dated?"

"Of course I have. I am not a monk. Have you even ever kissed a girl?"

"I'll have you know I've kissed two."

"Did they like it?"

Harry knew Severus's techniques by now. He was trying to make Harry mad so that he'd shut up. But, Harry was bored and wouldn't fall for it this time.

"I don't know," Harry said honestly. "Did the girls you've kissed like it?" He pushed his feet out more to nudge Severus's thigh.

"I've not kissed a 'girl.'"

"Sorry, women?"

"No."

"No, they didn't enjoy it? Aren't you experienced enough to be a good kisser by now?"

"I haven't kissed women." Something stirred in Harry's stomach. Realization dawned on him.

"Oh, you're-"

"Yes."

"Sirius is, too, ya know."

"I'm aware."

"Have you two ever-?"

"No. Just because two people are homosexual doesn't mean they're bound to be together in any way."

"I know that! I was just asking because you were in the same year and all."

"We loathe one another, why would we ever-?"

"Yeah. Right." Harry felt stupid. He had no idea what to say to Severus. He was desperate for conversation. Severus had been stuck in his books for days. Harry tried to be patient but this was almost as bad as being locked in the cupboard for days on end. "What day is it?"

"22 of November."

"We've been here a month."

"Feels like it's been years," Severus said, giving Harry a pointed look.

"Whiskey."

"Pardon?" Harry could tell Severus was becoming aggravated.

"Let's drink. Everything feels less boring when I'm drunk."

"You've been drunk?"

Harry scoffed. "Erm, yes, of course. Every night that I've drank with you."

Severus sat up straighter. "I'm impressed with you, Potter. I wasn't aware you were drunk. You hold your liquor quite well."

"I guess I'm not drinking enough then." Harry pushed his feet against Severus again.

"Yes, okay, fine! It's barely past noon, so if you insist on becoming absolutely pissed, you have the time to do so. Go get the whiskey."

"Finally! Something to do! Will you drink with me?"

Severus rolled his eyes, but Harry stood and grabbed the whiskey nonetheless.

Harry took his seat beside the older man once more and turned the bottle up to his lips.

"That behaviour is fine with the Weasleys, but in polite society, one doesn't drink from the bottle."

"You always do."

"You're not polite society, so no harm." Harry laughed, shoving his shoulder against Severus's and handed the man the bottle.

Their relationship had evolved quite a bit from the night by the lake when Harry first touched the man's face. It had repulsed him, to have Harry touch him, but now Harry stole small touches whenever he could and Severus never commented on it. He didn't so much as make one of the faces he was famous for.

Harry didn't know why he enjoyed the touches. Perhaps he was just starved of human connection. Self-imposed, as it was, since his reclusiveness had begun before they left Hogwarts.

Since Severus had begun walking with him through the corridors at night, he'd found the older man to be humourous, surprisingly kind, and understanding. He was the only constant in his life now. A constant that Harry felt he could actually rely on. Severus had always been there for him, protecting him. Harry felt safe with him. And he felt safe with him here now, which is why he wasn't afraid to poke and prod the professor. More importantly, he felt safe enough with Severus to be himself. Harry could swear the man felt the same way, which is why he allowed Harry to see him without his mask on.

"Would you say we're friends now?" Harry asked after his fifth swallow of whiskey. His face was beginning to feel tingly. His tongue felt heavy and swollen in his mouth.

"We are certainly something."

"Yeah. Friends."

"I'd say captor and hostage." Severus smiled at Harry. Sometimes, especially when the whiskey was flowing, Severus would smile at him and Harry's heart would skip. The man's smile was an incredibly rare sight and it made him feel special.

"Which of us is the captor?"

"Yet to be determined."

"Damn Albus."

Severus laughed into the bottle. "Damn Albus," he agreed.

"I think I'd like a cigarette."

Severus scoffed. "That is revolting."

"I've never had one. Maybe I'll never have one. Maybe I will."

"I think your inebriation is impending."

"I like the way you talk."

Severus grinned and turned his gaze back to Harry. "I like 'how you talk', as well."

"What?!" Using Severus's thigh to push his feet against, he propelled himself into a sitting position. "You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"No, why would I be sarcastic?" Severus turned a page in his book, but Harry was still sober enough to know Severus hadn't been reading.

"Your voice is like… it's like… silk! Yes, like silk. And it's like this whiskey. I like your vocabulary, too. There is no reason for you to like my voice. This is how I know you're being sarcastic."

"I like the way you speak. You're uninhibited in the things you say. Which, yes, has been a source of trouble for yourself, but it can be a strength in itself."

Harry beamed. His cheeks hurt. He must be smiling too much.

"I like you, Severus Tobias Snape," Harry slurred.

Severus glared chidingly at Harry. "I tolerate you, Harry James Potter."

"That's more than I'd ever hoped for, so I'll take it."

Drunk in the middle of the day. Harry wouldn't live long enough to face Voldemort. He was going to die of boredom.


	6. Chapter 6

The one time Severus allowed, even encouraged, Harry to become three sheets to the wind, was on a day Albus would choose to show up unannounced.

Harry had returned his feet to their position against Severus's leg. He was humming happily, his head leaned back, eyes closed. His t-shirt had wadded itself up around Harry's ribs, exposing the younger man's midriff. Albus stepped quietly through the floo as Severus turned the page of the book currently in his lap.

Severus saw the old man's eyes flick from Harry, to Severus, to Harry's feet bouncing against his leg. Albus looked at Severus questioningly.

"He was bored," Severus explained nonchalantly.

"Ah. Yes, well, I've come to collect you both."

Harry snored. Severus rolled his eyes. It was barely past lunch time. Harry's goal to become drunk before dinner had been achieved.

"Back to Hogwarts? Surely not."

"No, no. But, tell me, has your mark been burning?"

"Naturally." It had scarcely stopped in the past few months.

"What I thought. Has Harry had any pain in his scar?"

"Not that I am aware of."

"Good, good. I need you to go the next time Tom Riddle beckons you, but I'm unsure of leaving Harry unattended. I'll be taking him to Sirius and Remus."

Oddly enough, a few weeks ago this would have been welcomed. Now, Severus nearly felt as though Harry was being taken away from him. It felt like a punishment.

"You don't trust me to protect him?"

"Of course I do, my boy. Of course I do. I just need other things from you now."

"Yes. You always do."

Albus leaned over Harry and woke him gently.

Harry blinked his eyes open and giggled. "I want a beard like yours one day." Harry ran his fingers through the Headmaster's long white beard.

Severus snorted, which turned into a cough. Perhaps this wasn't Severus's best day as a guardian, he thought, amused.

Albus chuckled kindly. "Gather your things, Harry."

"What? No! Why?" Harry frowned. "I like it here with Severus."

"Professor Snape," Albus corrected.

Severus smiled. Harry wanted to stay with him. Severus felt immense pride at that.

"I'm taking you to 12 Grimmauld."

"Is he coming with us?" Harry questioned, indicating Severus.

"Perhaps later. Come on. Up you get."

Severus escorted Harry up the stairs to gather their things. With a flick of his wand, Severus's things were packed, shrunken, and placed in his robes. He then walked into Harry's room to shrink his trunk for him. He found Harry laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. His things were not packed, so Severus did it for him with a silent spell.

Severus sat next to Harry, as he had so many times over the past several weeks. The old bed frame groaned as Severus situated himself by the younger man's hip.

Harry drew lazy circles with his fingers over his own chest, apparently lost in thought.

"I'm going to miss this place," Harry said, sounding more sober. He turned his eyes to Severus's.

"I thought you were 'bored' here."

"What I meant to say was: I am going to miss you."

"I'm in the Order, Harry. I'll be there occasionally. Besides, I'd like to see you drunk again. It's rather amusing."

He smiled. "You called me Harry."

"I did. You said we are friends. Friends use one another's given names." Severus's heart felt heavy; His head felt conflicted. "And you called me Severus downstairs."

Harry laughed. "Yes, and I was corrected for it."

"What the headmaster doesn't know won't hurt him. You have to go, Harry. I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon."

"Not yet." Harry moved his head from the pillow and into Severus's lap. Severus fought the urge to push the young man off of him. He also fought the urge to run his fingers through Harry's hair, which had grown all too long. He settled on just letting Harry be, for the moment.

It had begun to occur to Severus that he'd been lonely for years. His life was certainly a solitary one, but he had never begrudged this until now- with the weight of Harry's upper body laid across his lap, having to say goodbye to him.

Severus couldn't be sure when exactly he'd decided he didn't want to be lonely anymore.

"Harry," Albus said from the doorway. Severus looked at the man, who narrowed his eyes at Severus in admonishment. "It's time to go," Albus added, not looking away from Severus.

The image before the old man was certainly not an appropriate one, Severus thought, but it was not quite wrong either- was it?

* * *

It was nice to be back with Sirius and Remus; but Harry felt oddly alone being away from Severus.

"Did Snivellus behave?" Sirius asked accusingly, pointing a fork full of beef at Harry.

"Yes, he behaved." Harry looked up from the dinner in front of him. "And don't call him that."

"Harry's right," Remus chimed in. "We're all on the same side here."

"I still don't like him," Sirius muttered.

"We know," Remus and Harry said in unison.

"What did you even do for weeks on end in the middle of nowhere with Snape?"

"Read. Talk. Eat. Drink."

"Drink?" Remus asked, amused.

"Oh yes, I was drunk out of my head when Dumbledore showed up."

"How nice of Snape to let you drink. I'd have to be drunk to be around him that long, too." Sirius stabbed his fork a bit too forcefully into a chunk of potato.

"Sirius. Stop. He's not as bad as you think he is."

Sirius grumbled and continued eating. Remus smiled at Harry approvingly. Harry loved his godfather dearly, but Sirius's maturity had been seriously stunted- perhaps his years in Azkaban had something to do with it. As much as Harry loved Sirius, he cared about the professor too, and he wouldn't have anyone speaking ill of him, including his own godfather.

"Your room is all ready for you, Harry. Sirius and I are incredibly pleased to have you here. I'm sorry it's under such circumstances."

"My entire life has existed 'in these circumstances.' It almost makes it hurt a bit less that I'm going to die."

The forks of the other two men both clattered against the porcelain plates they ate from.

Shit. Harry hadn't meant to say that aloud.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I know it's hard for you, too."

"Who did you hear that from?!" Sirius demanded.

Harry grimaced but decided to be honest. "I heard you two talking this past summer. About the prophecy. I knew the prophecy said something about us not being able to exist in the same time, I just never knew it meant I was the one destined to die."

Remus rubbed Harry's shoulder. "Harry, I'm sorry. You should have never heard that."

"No, actually, I should have heard it a long time ago is the problem. I'm glad I know. It's okay. I've come to terms with it. I'm just ready to kill the bastard."

Sirius and Remus looked at one another sadly. Harry hated those looks. He didn't want the pity.

Before thinking, Harry told them, "Severus seems to think he can find a way around it."

"He does?" Remus asked, surprised and hopeful.

"And since when have you called him Severus?" Sirius added.

"Professor Snape, I meant. And yes," Harry said, turning to Remus. "He's been doing all types of research. He's convinced. However," Harry added firmly. "I do not have my hopes up and neither should you two. Just, please, don't mourn me before I'm even gone. I'm here now, right?"

"Right you are. We will make the most of it." Sirius smiled at him but Harry could see the effort it was taking for the man to put on a brave face.

And "make the most of it" they did. Well, as much as they could within the house. The three men decorated for Christmas, albeit just a little bit early, as it was a couple of days before December. Harry had never decorated for a holiday before and loved every moment of it. Knowing Harry was now experienced with drink, they'd pass spirits around between them and have hearty conversations sat before the fireplace. They laughed a lot; They cried a little.

Sirius's head lolled to the side and he began to snore. His arms were crossed over his chest with his fingertips tucked under his arms. The side of the sofa caught the man's gruff head.

Remus smiled at Harry apologetically on behalf of Sirius. The fire popped and crackled. Harry leaned back into his chair and admired the fairy lights around the perimeter of the dark room.

Harry allowed himself a moment to be bitter, to be angry.

It was so unfair, he thought, that he'd be taken away from this life, right as he finally had a family here with Remus and Sirius. Right when he'd begun to understand his place in the world. And right when he'd discovered a new, fulfilling relationship with Severus. At least he couldn't miss Severus if he was dead. It was the fifth day since he'd last seen him. Harry wondered if he was safe. And as ridiculously sentimental as it was, Harry wondered if Severus missed him, too.

"You're missing him." Remus said suddenly, his voice was low. "It's odd how it happens, isn't it? How quickly someone can become implanted in your life to the point where you don't know who you are anymore without them."

"That's how I feel about you and Sirius." Harry smiled at Remus before raising the glass to his lips and taking a sip of what was mostly melted ice at this point. "And Hermione and Ron," Harry added.

"It's how we feel about you, too." Remus eyed the drink in his hand thoughtfully. "Be candid with me, Harry. What's happened between you and Professor Snape?"

"Nothing," Harry said a little too quickly.

Remus looked at him as if he knew a secret.

Harry sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know." Harry finally admitted. "The headmaster made him keep an eye on me a few months ago at school. We started taking walks together. We didn't really talk or anything. I guess I just became comfortable around him. Then we were stuck in that house for a while and we're friends, or something, now."

"Or something?" Remus repeated. "What kind of something?"

"Severus says he doesn't have friends, so yeah, 'something.'"

"And he allows you to call him Severus."

"That's a new development." Harry chuckled.

"Do you love him, Harry?"

"What?" Harry blinked at Remus quickly, his mouth agape. He regained his composure and continued. "I care about him, I suppose. He's actually a great friend once you get to know him. I wish Sirius would give him a chance."

"I don't think Sirius has the capability of seeing the good in people the way you do." Remus sipped his drink. "He wasn't inappropriate with you, though, was he? You're still underage."

"Well, he let me drink."

"That's not what I meant, Harry. I'm asking if he touched you in any way."

"What? Remus! No!"

Remus shifted in his chair, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "Did you want him to?"

"No… no. He's a bloke."

Remus nodded his head towards Sirius.

"I know, I know. But I'm not gay."

"Well then, I've received absolutely no answer as to why you're sitting there looking so lovesick over Severus Snape."

"Hardly lovesick. And how'd you even know I was thinking about him, anyway?"

"Lucky guess."

Harry looked at Remus doubtfully.

"Fine. I smelled him on you when you first got here."

"It was nothing inappropriate," Harry reiterated firmly.

Harry clutched at his scar. It was burning again.

"Harry! Are you alright?" Remus was on his feet quickly.

Harry nodded. "He must be angry," Harry hissed through gritted teeth.

Remus helped Harry to bed. The pain passed within moments, but it had been bad enough to take a toll on him. Thankfully it hadn't caused him to fall unconscious again.

Remus tucked Harry into bed, after forcing him to eat a square of chocolate.

"Thank you for being my family," Harry told the man through a yawn.

"I thank you as well, Harry. I was alone in this world for years before you came along... and brought Sirius with you." Remus chuckled. "Good night, Harry."

In his dreams, Harry saw Severus. He usually did, these days.


	7. Chapter 7

Severus stepped through the fireplace quietly. The sitting room of number 12 Grimmauld Place was already swarming with members of The Order. This would be the second meeting he had to attend for the evening, the first being quite nerve-wracking and physically painful. The deep split inside his lower lip still offered his tongue the bitter, metallic taste of blood. Voldemort had certainly not held back tonight.

Ron Weasley had his arm draped over Harry's shoulders. If Harry had grown a foot in height, Ron Weasley had grown two. His red hair had grown quite long since the beginning of their seventh year and he now wore it tied back into a short ponytail, reminiscent of his older brother. He'd put on a bit of weight since his younger years. Some in the form of a small paunch over his lower stomach, but some in the way of muscle. Harry had outgrown him in musculature at the same rate that Ronald had outgrown Harry in height. Hermione was still quite short, but had certainly began to blossom in the way young women do. Somewhere deep in Severus's mind he vaguely wondered if they realized how fortunate they were to have even had the chance to develop past adolescence, given the dangerous times they'd been born in. He doubted it. With the exception of Harry, young people tended to heartily believe in their own false immortality.

"Harry, we've been so worried. Have you been alright? I've kept very detailed class notes for you, of course." She hugged him tightly then kissed his forehead. A tear rolled down her wind-chapped face. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I've just missed you." She smiled at him sweetly and rubbed her thumb across his chin in a motherly gesture.

Severus felt as if he were a fly on the wall, watching something incredibly intimate unfolding before him; Something he did not deserve to witness, given how innocent and gentle it was- something Severus most definitely was not.

"Give him some space, 'Mione," Ron complained, although his own arm still held Harry tightly.

Hermione stepped back and let her fingertips fall slowly from his face. Harry grinned shyly. The way she ran her fingers over Harry's face reminded Severus of the night by the lake when Harry had reached up and touched him so tenderly. He raised a shaking hand to his jawline to recall the feel of the young man's hand there. He longed to feel it again. But he knew that was unlikely. Whatever friendship he and Harry had formed was likely a forgotten time now. That's all Severus was to anyone: he was there when no one else was. He was a final option, a last resort. _A convenience_. He knew this well, yet it hadn't quite bothered him before. Not until now.

Severus knew he couldn't have the friendly intimacy with Harry that Hermione and Ronald did. Severus wanted to be sickened by the sight of the three friends together; Crying and cooing over one another after being separated for only a few weeks. Severus could not judge them, however; It would make Severus a hypocrite. Severus had missed Harry dearly, and it'd been merely a week. Somehow this _student_ had planted himself into Severus's life like a weed. Severus could pull him out of the ground, displace him, but he would still be there.

Harry had a way about him that made Severus feel remarkable, special. But Harry loved everyone around him, didn't he? He loved his abusive relatives, he loved the boisterous boys of Gryffindor house, he loved the mutt Sirius Black, and he loved manipulative Albus Dumbledore. Harry's affections were indiscriminate, anyone was free to them. So why did Severus desperately wish he could be Hermione in this moment? Able to freely express her feelings to him, touch his face, and embrace him. A heaviness settled deep in Severus's gut.

He tore his eyes from the moment between friends on the far side of the room, and scanned the rest of the area. The room was dimly lit, as always, but now fairy lights wrapped around an evergreen in the corner, up around the perimeter of the ceiling and over the fireplace behind him.

Arthur and Molly Weasley spoke in hushed tones huddled together with Kingsley Shacklebolt, meanwhile Albus did the same with Remus and Sirius nearby. The room was filled with hushed chatter, like a war room before battle, but the emotion wafting through was not inherently negative or foreboding.

Severus allowed his eyes to float back towards Harry.

Harry stood on the tips of his toes to embrace Ron, resting his head on his shoulder. As Harry released Ron from the hug, he opened his eyes, seeing Severus over Ron's silhouette. Harry gave Severus a small, sad smile then turned to Hermione once more.

"Ah! Severus! We were waiting for you." Remus lifted his hand to clap his shoulder. Severus winced in preparation for the contact, but Remus lowered his hand. "Severus, what's happened to you?"

Severus could feel every bruise and cut over his body throb in pain each time his heart beat.

"The dangers of being a spy." Severus could not tell them exactly why Voldemort had beaten him so severely. It was one of the worst he'd received at the hands of the Dark Lord, but telling the members of the Order the cause behind the abuse was likely just as dangerous as the beating itself had been.

"Cast a glamour over yourself before Harry gets a better look at you," Remus urged, his voice only slightly more than a whisper.

Severus trained his face to not let his unspoken questions appear there.

Harry would care that he was injured? Enough so that Remus was aware of how he would react?

"I did cast a glamour," Severus said in a hiss through gritted teeth. "It will only cover so much."

"My god, Severus." Remus shook his head sadly, clearly realizing just how badly Severus was injured.

"I'd like to get some rest, so if you don't mind?"

Remus called out to the rest of the room to join him in the kitchen. The conversations all fizzed out quickly and everyone filed into the kitchen after Remus, leaving only the three students. Harry chewed his lip as he stared into Severus's eyes. He nodded in acknowledgment to the young man and followed behind the rest of the The Order.

Severus closed the kitchen door and took his seat between Albus and Remus, and across from Sirius who seemed to be glaring at him a bit more intensely than was normal.

"Severus," Albus began, his voice sounding weak. "Tell us what you've learned about the attacks on the Dursleys."

Severus had practiced his answer and spoke readily, "The Dark Lord has been using his connection to see into Potter's mind. He can see his thoughts."

The other Order members around the table gasped. Severus continued. "He saw a few of the rare positive memories he had of the Dursleys, and was mistaken that he was quite fond of them. The Dark Lord allowed a few underlings to carry out the attacks. A morbid game to them. Toying with Potter."

"Was it a warning of more to come?" Kingsley asked as quietly as his booming voice would allow.

"No more than anything else he's done has been a warning."

"Are there any attacks being planned on Hogwarts, then? I just assumed that would be the next step." Molly asked nervously, placing a hand on her husband's arm.

"No. At this time the Dark Lord seems to be more focused on building an army."

With that, it was agreed that Harry would be returning to Hogwarts after the Christmas break.

"What about the matter of the Dark Lord seeing Harry's thoughts?" Remus asked.

"I doubt we've any choice but to ensure he learns Occlumency. Harry knows too much, I fear what Voldemort has already seen. Severus will teach him. Being a spy, he is quite talented in the art." Albus turned to Sirius. "Severus will need to be here every evening to teach Harry. We have to begin immediately."

"I'll not have it! I don't trust him. Harry's been with him far too long as it is. What if he's already done irreparable damage to him? This will just give him the chance to implant all types of shit in his mind!"

"Yes, how dare I implant knowledge in my students?" Severus smirked.

Sirius slammed his fists down, causing various plates and glasses to clink and rattle and startling the others sat around the table.

"Boys!" Albus rumbled. He looked between the two men, fury in his eyes. "This is not about your schoolboy animosity! This is about the cause! Sirius, Severus will be here every evening for the next two weeks to teach Harry. End of discussion."

Sirius narrowed his eyes and scowled at Severus.

Severus rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

Albus looked around to each person at the table in turn. "You must all keep me updated. I fear we haven't long until the end. Every detail is important."

The group around the table all agreed, then stood to leave. Everyone seemed to be in much lower spirits than they'd been before the meeting. Indeed, life around them was beginning to seem more bleak.

Albus stopped Severus before he could fully stand. "Start with Harry tonight. We cannot be too careful."

Severus bowed his head and followed the group from the kitchen. Albus, Kingsley, and the elder Weasleys floo'd away in turn.

"Mr Potter," Severus turned to Harry who was sat in the floor playing cards with Ron and Hermione. "The headmaster has requested that I begin to bring you up to speed on your classes."

"Oh." Harry seemed genuinely confused. "Okay, then."

"Do you have an hour to spare me this evening?"

The smallest of grins pulled at one corner of Harry's mouth. "Yes, sir."

Ronald looked at Severus through narrowed eyes but said nothing.

Harry pushed himself to his feet and smoothed out his red T-shirt.

"Come on then, 'Mione. We'll head back to The Burrow."

Harry's friends bid their goodbyes.

"Actually, Ms Granger, if I could have just a moment."

Her lips parted to speak but she snapped her mouth closed and nodded.

Sirius stood in the corner of the room, his arms crossed over his chest. "I have my eyes on you, Snape."

"Leave him alone, Sirius." Harry requested, sounding exasperated, and a bit tired. Harry's defense of the professor against his godfather provided more confirmation to Severus that a sincere shift had occurred in their relationship. It lent hope that perhaps Severus was more than a 'last choice in friendship.'

Sirius ignored Harry and continued addressing Severus. "You may use the kitchen. I'll be out here waiting." The scraggly, skinny man intended it as a warning.

Severus had far too much on his plate to care about the mutt's remarks.

He motioned for Hermione to follow him into the kitchen.

She snapped the door shut and stepped closer to him, pulling the sleeves of her white jumper down a bit to cover the palms of her hands. Severus could tell she was nervous but she fixed her facial expression to appear brave and determined.

"Ms Granger," Severus began, eager to get the evening over with so that he could finally find peace in his bed. "As loathe as I am to admit it, I find myself needing assistance." He searched her eyes. She tucked a long strand of curly hair behind her ear, and nodded firmly.

"Yes, sir. Anything you need."

"It is of utmost importance that you do not repeat any of this to anyone. Not to Mr Potter nor Mr Weasley. Do you understand?"

She looked hesitant but still answered with a very determined, "Yes, sir."

"I've been doing research and find myself lacking the adequate time to find resources. I need anything and everything you can find about prophecies. Specifically, anything to do with finding a way to deny a prophecy its fulfillment." Her eyes seemed to light up at the prospect of assisting him in his research. "Do you understand, Ms Granger?"

"Yes, sir!" She beamed up at him.

Her smile didn't have quite the same effect on him that Harry's always did. Severus wondered if perhaps he was becoming soft, or losing his touch. The young people around him now smiled at him rather than flinching whenever he looked at them. And he couldn't say that he entirely detested the change.

"Please send in Mr Potter."


	8. Chapter 8

Severus stood behind the chair Albus had previously occupied. He squeezed the back of the chair and flexed his fingers, watching his knuckles turn white, then back to pink as he released, and back to white as he squeezed again. Severus took deep, even breaths to clear his mind. Every inch of his body was sore. His mind hurt. His heart hurt.

The door groaned as it was opened slowly. Once the door clicked closed once more Severus dared to lift his head and open his eyes.

Harry stood there, his hands tucked behind his back and the door he leaned against. Harry wore a large smile, perhaps the brightest smile Severus had ever seen on him.

The sleeves of Harry's tshirt hugged the young man's surprisingly defined biceps.

They stood like that for a long moment. Harry, against the door. Severus, leaned forward gripping a chair. A table between them. It had been nine days since Severus had last seen him. Seeing his smile again caused a feeling of relief to wash over Severus.

Severus looked into those brilliant green eyes. Harry looked happier and healthier than he'd been since the year before. Perhaps anywhere away from Severus was the best place for him, since he looked quite healthier in just the few days they'd been separated.

"I've missed you," Harry finally said. A whisper. Words meant only for Severus; words that dared him to hope.

Hope was a dangerous emotion. One Severus avoided at all costs.

Severus was grateful he'd cast such a strong silencing spell. Had the young man's godfather heard those words through the door, he'd already be atop Severus, attacking him. Severus wasn't sure his body could handle another attack tonight.

Harry's affections were indiscriminate, yes, but Severus knew he didn't deserve them regardless. The teenager across the table from him was spectacular. And Severus hated himself for not seeing that sooner. The fact that he hadn't was proof that he didn't deserve the man's friendship. He didn't deserve so much as even polite kindness from the saviour.

We all want what we don't deserve. Wasn't that a universal truth?

Severus released the back of the wooden chair and stepped around the table, now only a foot before Harry.

"It's only been nine days," Severus responded finally.

Harry looked down to the floor and chuckled softly before removing his back from the door and placing himself against Severus in a swift movement. Before Severus could register it, Harry's arms were around his waist, his head tucked beneath his chin.

"The longest nine days of my life."

Harry had promised time and time again that he'd not offer Severus anymore physical affection. Harry continued to break that promise.

Severus didn't mind too terribly.

Harry smelled faintly of musky sweat. His hair smelled of a sweet-scented shampoo. Severus buried his nose into the mop of hair and inhaled deeply as he wrapped his own arms around the younger man in return. If Severus had anything to say about it, he'd keep Harry there in his arms, safe from the world that threatened to tear into him every day.

Harry's embrace caused the dull ache of his ribs to sting just a bit. Severus had been injured in his efforts to protect Harry several times throughout the years, but he wouldn't undo a moment of it. He'd take all of that pain and more, tenfold even, to continue protecting him.

Harry pulled back just enough to look up into Severus's eyes, with his arms still around the older man. Harry's pupils moved left-to-right between Severus's eyes, inspecting him. Harry's brow furrowed and he stared at the older man intensely.

"You're so bruised. What's happened, Severus?"

Severus put another step of space between them, both men's arms fell to their sides.

"Voldemort," Severus said simply. "He likes to beat us into submission, occasionally; remind us who we belong to." Severus didn't like to lie to Harry, whether overtly or through omission. He knew he'd one day have to tell him the full truth but tonight was not the night to do so.

Sometimes a small lie can provide protection, too.

Harry grimaced. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I will be. I need rest."

"You still came to see me first?" Harry offered the older man a small grin.

"I will admit that I came because I had to. The meeting. Also, Albus has asked me to teach you- but not your typical classes. Have you ever heard of Occlumency, Harry?"

"No." the young man looked concerned.

"It's the art of blocking one's mind from others who may wish to invade it."

"You're telling me mind-reading is real."

"Mm," Severus grunted in affirmation.

"Have you done that to me?" Harry looked positively horrified by the thought.

"No. And I never shall, without telling you first. Voldemort can see into your mind. Just my telling you this is risking my life. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"I am going to teach you how to do this. It is going to take time and effort. It will exhaust you until you have learned to master it. This is the most important thing you can possibly do for the side of the light, Harry."

Harry chewed his lip and looked down at his bare feet, wiggling his toes against the sides of Severus's muddy boots.

"It will be alright. You will learn this."

"No, I know."

"You look upset."

Harry laughed bitterly. "It's nothing. I ... I thought you'd come just to see me."

Another opportunity for Severus to continue to lie to Harry. There was no possible way for Severus to comfort Harry in this matter. He could not be honest and tell him that he would have never let Albus separate them, if he could've. He could not tell Harry that he'd have come to see him earlier except that he was terrified of the possible repercussions of showing up unannounced to simply visit with a student. He and Harry were friends. Perhaps they were allowed to be friends, but Severus certainly didn't feel that it was encouraged. Most of all, Severus could not tell Harry that he'd thought of him constantly while they'd been apart. He couldn't tell him that his soul felt incomplete when Harry wasn't around. Or that he now found it difficult to find sleep without hearing Harry's nightly movements through the thin wall between their bedrooms. Severus felt that Harry was beginning to look up to him. Harry followed his lead. Harry looked to him for advice and comfort. Almost paternally. Oh, he was sure James Potter was rolling over in his grave at that thought.

No, there was nothing Severus could say, and so he didn't.

Severus put a few more feet of space between them and held his wand loosely at his side.

"I am going to invade your mind now. I want you to put a wall up and block me out."

"I'm ready."

Severus raised his wand.

_LEGILIMENS_

Severus easily found his way into Harry's mind.

_Cupboard under the stairs._

_Copying Hermione's homework._

_Dementors flying overhead._

Severus pulled out of his mind.

Harry was panting, but his face was set and determined.

"Again," Harry demanded.

It was as easy as the first time had been.

_Stirring a potion in class._

_Taking a candy proffered by Albus._

_Walking to the lake with Hagrid._

Harry was panting once more. He looked a bit shaken, his confidence seemed to be deteriorating quickly.

"Just build a wall around my mind," Harry said to himself.

Severus invaded Harry's mind several more times. It was equally easy each time, but by the end Harry was sat on the floor, frustrated, sweating, and out of breath.

Severus wanted to go easier on him, but he couldn't. There was a good reason that Severus had always been tough on him, and that couldn't change now.

Harry was on all fours, looking as if he'd vomit. Severus maintained his distance. It was not a joy to see the "Saviour" in such a state.

Harry shook his head, causing his glasses to slip from his face and to the tiled floor of the kitchen.

"I can't do it."

"You will learn. You must learn."

"It won't be tonight."

"No. I expect it'll be several more weeks. It's a very advanced skill. For tonight I will give you a dose of dreamless sleep, at least to keep the dark lord from your mind while it's dormant."

Harry slowly made his way back onto his feet, his breath coming more evenly now.

"I like my dreams," Harry protested weakly. "I dream about you, sometimes."

Severus pursed his lips. This camaraderie with the student had already come too far.

"Even more reason to take the potion. Those are the things He cannot see."

"Give it to me," Harry snapped, not meeting Severus's gaze.

The potion itself shimmered through the glass vial, looking like memories floating in a pensive. Harry snatched the bottle from Severus's fingertips and drank it expertly. Severus knew Harry was not foreign to this particular potion.

Severus lifted his wand and removed the silencing wards from the kitchen. Harry accepted the cue and made his way behind Severus into the sitting room.

Severus was mildly surprised to see that Remus waited there for the two of them, but Sirius was unseen.

Understanding, Remus said, "Sirius's outrage caused him to drink a bit more quickly than he should have. I sent him off to bed, but promised I'd wait here to 'keep watch.'" Remus smirked, wordlessly acknowledging that it was ridiculous that the two men would need to be looked after.

Harry looked over at Severus. His face remained flushed, but he was significantly more composed. "Good night," he bid the two older men and slipped past Severus into the door on the right, which he assumed was Harry's bedroom.

Severus stared after him, long after Harry closed the door between them. He got the distinct feeling the young man was upset with him.

Every joint in Severus's body ached. He longed for bed.

"You're doing the right thing, Severus."

"And which 'thing' would that be?"

"Giving Harry a strong shoulder to lean on."

Severus scoffed as if it were the most ridiculous thing to ever be proposed to him in his miserable life.

Severus struggled to keep his eyes open even as his body was pulled through the floo and back into his personal rooms at Hogwarts.

He walked quietly through the Slytherin dormitories to check on his few students who remained for the Christmas break then returned to his own rooms not far down the corridor. Severus swallowed back several healing potions, then found sleep easily.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry laid atop the blankets, only in his underwear. He'd not lit the fireplace in his room for the evening, and the air was cold around his bare skin. He took a deep breath and focused on the goose skin he could feel rising along his calves and forearms.

Harry was a fool to think Severus Snape would come to number 12 Grimmauld just to see him. He was just following orders. He was always just following orders. There was no place in Severus's life for Harry. How could there be? Harry clenched his jaw. Indeed, there was no room in his own life for Severus, either. He only had space for learning strategies to kill Voldemort once and for all, to rid the world of the bastard. That was that, then. Harry would allow Severus no more space in his mind, nor in his heart. It was time to get to work.

_Do you hear that, Tom? Are you listening to me now? I'm coming for you. You're a fucking dead man._

Harry was going to kill him. To keep muggleborns like Hermione safe. To free Severus from his dual life. To punish him for taking away Dudley's and Petunia's opportunities. For taking Harry's entire family from him.

Harry finally slid his body beneath his blankets, seeking warmth. He looked around the dark room, only dimly lit by the moonlight through a dirty window. It would have been nice to decorate this room and make it his own. He wouldn't live long enough to do so.

The Dreamless Sleep soon overtook Harry's bitter thoughts.

* * *

Harry had only just finished breakfast with Remus and Sirius when Ron and Hermione appeared in the sitting room.

He hugged each of them.

"We need to talk," Harry nodded his head in the direction of his empty bedroom. From his usual seat, Remus shot Harry a sad, understanding smile- knowing which conversation Harry needed to have with his two closest friends.

The three sat cross-legged in a circle on Harry's bed.

"I owe you both an apology. I've tried desperately to separate myself from you two."

"We've noticed. It's okay, mate. We get it. You've got a lot going on."

Harry shook his head. "No. I mean, yes. That's true. But, there is more to it. Swear to me this stays between us."

Ron nodded emphatically, curious to learn more. Hermione swirled a strand of hair nervously but ultimately agreed.

"When I defeat Voldemort," Ron hissed at the name. "I will die, too."

"Oh, Harry, you can't think that way!"

"No, Hermione. Listen to me. It's in the prophecy. I won't live."

"Prophecy?" She clarified, her voice just a strained octave higher than usual. Her head shot back and forth between the two young men sat across from her. "That… makes sense."

"No, none of this makes sense," Ron told her.

Hermione's eyes were full of thoughts she was struggling to not speak. It was a look that Harry had often seen on her face through the years.

"We will find a way to save you," Ron continued. "We won't let this happen."

"I need you both to be prepared. I don't need you to search for answers. I just need the both of you to be here with me now."

"I'm already looking for answers." Both men looked towards Hermione. "Professor Snape… he asked me for help with research last night. He said he needed resources on how to break a prophecy. He made me swear to tell no one, including you two, so you mustn't breathe a word to anyone. But, I'm sure this is what he need my help researching."

"Damn," Ron mumbled. "Snape really is looking out for you."

Harry shrugged. "Yeah, well, he works for Dumbledore."

"Have you found anything, Hermione?" Ron asked, his voice full of a desperate hope that Harry himself had long since abandoned.

"I've not had very much time yet. Now that I know why Professor Snape is researching this…" she let her words trail off, but Harry and Ron knew what she meant. Hermione would be going into research overdrive. The young woman was an expert at finding answers, and she wouldn't stop until she found them.

"Hermione," Harry began, placing his hand on her knee. "Severus shouldn't have put this on you. I shouldn't have, either. If you find no answers, you can't…." Harry took a deep breath. "You can't let yourself feel any blame, okay?"

Hermione nodded blankly but Harry knew it was moot. Now when he died, Hermione was only going to blame herself for not finding a way to save him. Harry could kill Severus in that moment. How dare he put it on her? Perhaps Severus really was the selfish bastard Harry had once thought him to be.

The three friends wrapped their arms around one another. A few tears escaped Ron's eyes. Hermione cried freely.

At least the two would have one another when Harry was gone. He was grateful for that.

Ron visited with Harry over the next couple of days.

Hermione would visit the library at Hogwarts, having received special use of Severus's personal floo, and a permission slip from the man to use the library over the holidays (including the restricted section.)

This was all according to Ron.

At night, Severus would come through the fireplace, with Sirius sat on the sofa outside of the kitchen door. Severus would put a silencing ward around the kitchen. And the two men would get to work on the occlumency lessons.

Harry was inevitably left spent on the floor, panting and aching.

Harry didn't touch Severus. He did not smile at the man. He didn't speak to him other than what was necessary. He was livid that he had brought Hermione into his search for answers that could not be found.

Just like that, they were nothing more than a student and a professor. Begrudging allies once more.


	10. Chapter 10

Severus knew Harry was upset with him. Harry no longer called him Severus. He no longer even called him Professor Snape. Harry didn't call him anything. He didn't address him at all except when the occasion called for a "no, sir" or "yes, sir."

Harry's kind smiles, his tentative touches, his determined eye contact were no longer offered to Severus. It shouldn't bother Severus, in fact he should be relieved. He wasn't.

Severus would have preferred that their interactions were still the way they'd been over the past few months, but Severus was strong enough to weather Harry's hurt, anger, and inconsolability. A 'strong shoulder' didn't always need to wipe away tears, or listen to feelings. Sometimes a strong shoulder had to withstand punches. If Harry needed a target to which he could throw his negative emotions, Severus could provide that. And he did.

Severus rolled the small box over in his fingers, within his robe pocket. Severus wasn't sure he should give it to him. He debated with himself whether it was appropriate. It likely wasn't.

It was Christmas. Rather than snowing, rain poured outside. It beat against the roof and windows in a steady, angry thrum. Brightly coloured wrapping paper still littered the floor around the Christmas tree in the corner of the sitting room. Sirius sat in the chair, a bottle of spirits in his hand. Sirius no longer continuously glared at him whenever he was in the room. Perhaps he was finally becoming secured in the fact that Severus did not intend to injure his godson. Remus sat at the sofa, one leg crossed over the other, and a large tome in his lap, sipping a glass of whiskey he balanced on the arm of the sofa.

"Merry Christmas, Severus," Remus told him, kindly.

Severus inclined his head. "Merry Christmas."

Sirius grunted in Severus's general direction as way of greeting.

"Harry should be right along," Remus assured.

Severus nodded numbly and made his way into the kitchen, taking his usual seat where he would wait for Harry.

He continued to turn the small box over and over in his fingers, still tucked neatly in his pocket. This night, Severus waited longer for Harry than was typical.

He tried to be patient, but Severus could not fathom what Harry could be doing in his empty bedroom that was so important. Severus finally stepped back into the sitting area. Remus nor Sirius gave him so much as a glance. He turned swiftly and opened Harry's door without knocking or announcing his entrance.

Severus snorted and rolled his eyes. The boy was asleep, a book splayed open and lying pages-down on Harry's chest. He sat on the bed beside him, as he had so many weeks ago in the safe house.

"Harry." Severus waited a moment, but Harry's breath still came deep and even, signifying a comfortable sleep. He fought to control the urge to reach out and touch his face, but he failed. Severus had never been great at self-control. He reached a tentative, shaking hand out and lightly traced the famous scar with his index finger. Seemingly of its own volition, his fingers moved down the bridge of Harry's nose, then traced that perfect Cupid's bow above his full lips.

Harry's lips twitched and Severus withdrew his hand. Perhaps he could let the young man have one evening to rest. It was Christmas, after all. Severus stood slowly and the bed creaked.

Harry yawned and lifted a hand to rub his eyes beneath his glasses.

"Severus," Harry whispered as he pushed himself slowly into a sitting position.

"That's the first time you've addressed me in a week."

"It's hard for me to stay upset longer than a week, if I'm honest with you."

Harry was upset with him? He'd known, of course, that something was bothering Harry, but Severus hadn't considered that it could be himself.

Severus took a step closer to the bed. "Wish to enlighten me as that what egregious error I've made? What have I possibly done to make you avoid me so long?"

"Do not be upset."

"I am under the impression it is you with the issue."

"Don't be upset with Hermione, I mean…"

Severus took a deep, calming breath through his nose. He should have known that, as intelligent as Hermione is, she could not keep a secret from her two partners.

"She told you she is helping me with research," Severus surmised.

"How dare you?" Harry asked, swinging his legs to the side of the bed. Harry stared down at his hands now fidgeting in his lap.

"It has always been quite difficult for me to request help. Are you aware of how much pride I had to push aside to ask a student to help me with research? I did not tell her why I needed the information. I would not betray your trust in that way."

Harry shook his head. "I told her the truth about the prophecy, then she told me about your request and she was able to put it together."

"I apologize that this hurt you."

"No," Harry said sadly. "It's going to hurt her. She's killing herself scouring through every book she can get her hands on. She is going to find nothing, I am going to die, and she will blame herself. Do you realize what you've done to her?"

Severus couldn't say that he was sorry he had asked for her help. If he was going to save Harry from his fate, he could certainly use her assistance. He was sorry that his oversight had caused yet one more thing for Harry to stress over.

"I apologize for overstepping."

"I'm also upset with you for making me upset with you. Do you know how exhausting it is to see you every night and keep myself from touching you?"

Severus's heart began to pound more rapidly in his chest. "For the best, then. There are still five more months of school. It's inappropriate for the two of us to be as close as we've been."

Harry looked up at Severus then, the hurt written plainly across his face.

Severus pulled the small black box from his robe pocket and handed it to Harry, who took it gingerly. Harry looked at him questioningly, but opened the box.

Inside lay a solid gold band- a bracelet.

"It's beautiful." Harry was completely captivated by the piece of jewelry. He reverently removed it from the velvet casing and slid it onto his wrist. He admired it on his wrist for a long moment, before looking up at Severus. His eyes were wide and shining, his lips parted slightly. "I've never received anything like this before. I don't know what to say…"

"You're welcome," Severus said sincerely. "Merry Christmas."

"I didn't get you anything, I'm so sorry."

Severus ignored the comment. Of course he would not expect, or even hope, that the student would give him a Christmas gift. Severus wasn't very big on gifts, giving or receiving, anyways.

"It's not just a bracelet. Put your wand to it, and say _terequiro_." Harry retrieved his wand from the nightstand and did as he was told.

Severus pulled the right sleeve of his robe up and showed Harry his own bracelet, completely identical in every way except his was humming gently with vibration.

"When you need me, this will let me know. When I place the tip of my wand to my bracelet, it will become a portkey to where you are. It even works inside Hogwarts." Severus then cast a spell over his bracelet, ending the vibration and rendering it invisible.

Harry was visibly overcome with emotion. "What do I need to say to make it into a portkey?"

Severus looked at Harry questioningly. Harry wouldn't need the portkey…

"What if you need me?" Harry asked.

That one simple question floored Severus. He couldn't remember a single time anyone had ever been worried about Severus needing them, needing anything really.

" _Adeum_ ," Severus said quietly.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry was sprawled out on his stomach on the lumpy old bed in his room at Grimmauld Place, as he often did when he was killing time between Ron's daily visit and Severus's nightly visit.

He flexed and stretched his right hand, sore from overuse for the day. He'd written over a dozen lengthy letters.

He lifted his wand, cleared his throat, then cast the protective spell over the many pieces of parchment laid out before him. Remus had taught him the spell over breakfast, without asking Harry why he needed to know it, which he was grateful for. Remus still loved to teach and Harry could see that he was flattered when he'd asked him about it. Sirius hadn't said much. He wasn't a morning person, and was also still sulky over the continued presence of one Severus Snape in his home.

Harry stretched out his fingers once more, then folded each letter into thirds, and stuffed them into envelopes which were individually labeled with names.

Finishing all of the letters, oddly enough, filled Harry with a sense of peace. A sense of conclusion to his short but tumultuous life.

There were things he needed to tell his loved ones once he was gone and these letters would hopefully answer any questions they might be left with.

Harry could imagine his friends holding these letters after his death, perhaps crying a bit, but ultimately finding comfort at Harry's words. Just a little something to remember him by, maybe.

Harry pulled out one more piece of parchment and wrote his will.

All of his inherited wealth would go to Remus, Sirius, the Weasleys, and a large donation to Hogwarts, too. They were the ones who'd raised him, and Hogwarts had been his home.

Hedwig would go to Severus. Harry could see that Severus was growing weary of his solitude. Maybe Hedwig could give Severus companionship, the way she'd provided it to Harry during his lonely summers at the Dursley's. His broom, to Ron, of course. And his books to Hermione, of course. Everything else, he'd let Sirius sort through and give away or donate.

Harry needed his loved ones to know that, while he might be dead, they were not abandoned. He needed them to know how cherished they were.

Harry pulled on his black leather boots and sat at the edge of his bed, stack of letters in his hand. Severus would be there any minute for their lesson. Severus was reliable, and with that, came punctuality.

Right on time, a knock on his bedroom door.

"Harry, he's here," came Sirius's irritated voice. He rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the bed.

"Happy New Years, Severus," Harry said, closing the kitchen door behind him.

"And to you." Severus inclined his head in greeting then cast the silencing charm, as he always did. "Are you ready?"

"No. When am I ever?"

"One day, you will have to be."

"I can't be a paranoid bastard every minute of the day like you are," Harry said, his tone light and teasing.

Severus's face showed no humour. "You've become a paranoid bastard like me some years ago, I'm afraid to inform you."

Harry smirked. "True. But I'm not _always_ on guard."

"But you need to be. That's why we're here." Severus shifted his gaze to the tiles beneath his feet. "You know I wish it didn't have to be that way."

"I know," Harry said sadly. He reached out to hold Severus's hand. The man's long, slender fingers thread themselves through Harry's effortlessly.

Harry looked into the professor's dark eyes and saw the pain and sadness that had always been there, but seemed to be intensifying. Harry wondered if it was because the man wasn't finding the answers he needed to break the prophecy.

He was afraid to ask, so he never did, and Severus never brought it up.

Harry wished he'd started a journal. He'd love to remember the exact moment he began to see beauty in those sad, dark eyes. He'd love to remember the moment he first touched the man before him, and remember when Severus no longer seemed unnerved by Harry's affections.

They'd long become comfortable with one another. Severus never touched Harry first, but had began to seem comforted whenever Harry would embrace him, or hold his hand... even though Severus was always the first to end the contact.

Severus squeezed Harry's hand once then removed himself to pull the wand from his robes.

"I'm ready."

Severus pulled his lips into an impossibly thinner line and raised his wand.

Harry pictured a literal brick wall, the one around Aunt Petunia's garden, and imagined it shielding his mind from the man aiming to invade it.

It held firmly, but then began to collapse. Bricks crumbling and falling. And then he was spiraling into thoughts and memories.

_Running into 9 3/4 and smashing his trolley into it when Dobby had closed it._

_His legs resting over Severus's at the safehouse._

_Receiving his first Weasley jumper on his eleventh Christmas._

Severus sifted through these memories, never latching onto any of them, just continuing to push forward.

Harry was panting and sweating profusely. He took a deep breath and removed his new Molly-made jumper and laid it over the back of a chair.

"You kept me out longer than usual." A compliment, in Snape-speech.

"But still not good enough," Harry said.

"No."

"Could you do something for me?"

Severus's lips parted as he looked at Harry, brow furrowing in a silent question.

Harry pulled the letters from the back pocket of his trousers and handed them to the raven-haired man.

"I need you to send these, after I'm gone."

Severus looked down at the stack. The envelope on top had the man's own name on it. He slowly sorted through them to read Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Remus, Molly & Arthur, Albus, Prof McGonagall, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Hagrid and... Draco. 

"Are these- ?"

"Yeah."

"I can't... I'm not sure I am the one to be your executor."

"You're the only one. Please, do this for me? Just say yes."

The man blinked slowly. "Yes," he said quietly.

"Thank you. And, erm, don't read yours until I'm actually dead, okay?"

"I will never need to open this. I refuse to allow this to happen."

"Please stop!" Harry demanded. He added more softly, "Everyone else is doing this to me. Telling me to be optimistic, to be hopeful. You're the one person in my life who has always been realistic, who has always been honest with me and been able to see things the way they are. I know you're working hard to save me. But right now, this is reality. This is the future I am looking at. I've made my peace with it. Please, please, just accept that this is what is going to happen. And then... deliver the damn letters."

Severus looked crestfallen, but tucked the letters into his robes.

"I want to despise you for doing this to me," Severus said.

"Will you miss me when I'm gone?" Harry tried to sound teasing, to lighten the heavy air between them.

Instead, Harry found himself crushed within the strong arms of the older man. The first time Severus had initiated touch.

Harry hoped that the comfort he found there in that embrace would be what it felt like to die. Engulfed in a calming blackness.

Harry clung to Severus like a last hope, because that is exactly what Severus was to him.

He smelled like cardamom and sweat.

Harry thought he heard a soft sob.

Perhaps it was his own, because Severus Snape doesn't cry.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's been pretty heavy so far, but in this chapter, everything begins to change! This chapter is the turning point which will be leading us to Part 2 of the story (out of 3 parts.)

**Part II: Clinging to Hope**

"Harry."

Harry groaned and pulled the covers over his head. His internal clock wasn't on the Hogwarts schedule anymore. It was on the schedule of Severus, then Sirius letting him wake up whenever he pleased, and do as he wished all day. The sun wasn't even up yet. Why should he have to be?

"Harry," Hermione said more insistently and shook his shoulder. "We need to go down for breakfast."

"Why are you in the boys' dormitory?" He asked from beneath the blankets.

"Oh, please."

Harry could practically hear her eyes rolling. She pulled the blanket off of him, exposing his bare chest to the cold castle air.

Harry hadn't gotten enough sleep. He'd returned to the castle the night before, anticipating a return to his nightly walks with Severus, but the man hadn't been in his rooms. Harry lie in his bed for hours, unable to find sleep. Even at Grimmauld he'd stay up for hours talking to Remus and his godfather.

Gryffindor tower was lonely at night once everyone fell asleep, only Neville's snores let Harry know he wasn't alone.

He tried, he really did, to not think about Severus but, somehow, his mind insisted on wandering back to the man.

Several months before, the man had been someone Harry dreaded seeing. Now, he was his comfort. He was his confidante. He was his friend. Harry had fallen asleep thinking of the man's eyes like stormy skies, his skin that was sometimes cold, but still provided him warmth, his hair that tickled Harry's ears when they embraced.

"Fine. Yes. Okay," Harry snapped as he pulled himself from his warm bed. Hermione was already dressed and ready for the day.

Ron didn't have class until a bit later and had made it a habit to sleep through breakfast in recent months, so the two let him sleep as they made their ways to the great hall.

The first promises of sunlight began to appear by the time they took their seats.

"He's not here yet," Hermione said across the table.

"Hm?"

"I see you looking up there every few seconds. He's not here, Harry."

"He wasn't in the castle last night either," Harry said meaningfully.

"I'm sure he's alright. He always is."

Harry shrugged resignedly.

* * *

"You love him." Hermione shoved Harry gently with her shoulder as they walked.

"Not this again."

"Again?"

"Remus said the same thing after I left the safe house. You bunch make it seem as if I'm obsessed with him."

"No, you make it seem that way. We are simply observing."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Every day, I wake up wondering if he's safe. I'm endlessly so terrified for him," Harry admitted. "So, yeah, I find it hard to take my thoughts off of him."

"If it makes you feel any better, he feels the same way."

Harry remained quiet, waiting for her to continue, as she often would just to fill the silence.

In true form, she continued. "He let me use the floo in his rooms over break so I could use the library."

"Yeah, Ron told me."

"Well, I came through his rooms at all hours of day and night. I never found him sleeping or doing anything leisurely. He was either gone, or completely ensconced in research for you."

Harry sighed.

"Whenever I came through, he'd ask me about you. Had I heard from you, what'd you say, how were you feeling..."

"And what did you tell him?"

"That he'd spent more time with you than I had, and he'd know those answers better than I would."

Hermione grasped the door handle to the classroom, but stopped and looked at Harry. "Be careful, Harry," she pleaded.

"Careful about what?"

She ignored his question and opened the door.

"Good work, Mr Potter," McGonagall complimented in her Scottish brogue.

He returned the butterfly to its original state of a feather and it floated delicately back onto the table.

"Fuck," Ron groaned beneath his breath. "How'd you do that?" Ron flicked his wand angrily a couple of times but gave up. "Good to be back at school?" He asked, leaning back in his seat.

"Not really," Harry admitted.

"Yeah," Ron agreed, understanding. "Well, at least when you're here you can get a bit more time with your precious Severus."

Harry hissed. "Goddammit, Hermione."

The curly-haired student in front of him twisted around at the mention of her name. "What?!"

Harry glared at her, though there was no real venom behind it.

"I get it," Ron said. "I think it's bloody weird, but I get it."

"No, you don't," Harry sighed.

"Oh, has my Potty-boy got a crush?" Draco laughed loudly. "Tell us, who is she, then?"

"Shut up, Draco," Hermione, Ron, and Harry all said in an exhausted unison.

"Just trying to have a bit of fun," Draco grumbled.

The animosity between Draco and the trio had receded nearly a year and half before when Harry'd talked him out of taking the Dark Mark. The Malfoys made him leave his own home, completely disowning him when he'd vehemently declined joining the Death Eaters. They said he was a disgrace to the family name. Oddly enough, it was Professor McGonagall who took him in during times he wasn't living at Hogwarts.

Draco outwardly seemed as if the whole ordeal didn't affect him in the slightest, but he'd confided enough in Harry for him to know that it did.

Harry finished off the last of the worksheet and wrote his name at the top just as a white paper dragonfly landed next to his hand.

Harry looked around to see that Professor McGonogall was busy with Neville before tapping the dragonfly with his wand. It unfolded, revealing a quick note.

_Let's have a chat tonight._

It was in Draco's handwriting.

Harry turned in his seat to find the young man's grey eyes already on his. Harry nodded to him, then held up nine fingers.

At nine o'clock that evening, Harry slipped away from the Gryffindors sat around the common room, talking about their Christmas breaks.

The painting of a Thestral on the second floor was halfway between Slytherin Dungeons and the Gryffindor Tower, tucked away in a dark alcove.

Draco waited for Harry there. It was their usual spot, though they hadn't used it in some time. It was where Draco had first confided in Harry about the Dark Mark, and his fears of joining the Death Eaters. At the time they were still deep in their animosity, but Draco had felt Harry'd be the one to go to.

Soon after Draco was removed from his home at Malfoy manor, it's where they'd meet and Harry would let Draco talk through his feelings, eventually becoming friends.

Harry slid sneakily sideways into the alcove, his back against the wall. "Draco."

"Hi. So, I'll get right to it. I want to join The Order."

Harry's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Draco, it's dangerous. I don't know... besides, that isn't my decision."

"I know. It's Dumbledore's and he won't let me join until I turn 18."

"Well that's only a few months away, isn't it?"

"Yes, But you know better than I, that every day counts. I need the Dark Lord to be brought down. Maybe if I can free my parents of their master, they can see how wrong they've been. Maybe I can save them."

"I hope that's true."

"Every week, he is asking them to do more and more. I fear that they will be sent to Azkaban after his fall, if I don't get them away from him in time. Who knows what more he will ask them to do?"

Harry placed a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder.

"I can talk to the headmaster for you, but no one really has any influence over that man once he's made a decision."

"You're right. I know you're right. I also just wanted to see how you are. Haven't seen you much this school year. How was it staying with my godfather?"

"It was... fine," Harry said noncommittally.

"He really is a good man, Harry."

"Yeah. I know."

By the time Draco and Harry part ways, it was time for Harry's Occlumency lesson.

Harry knocked on the door to the professor's rooms, which was opened quickly.

Harry'd seen his living quarters once, just from the doorway, but had never been inside. It was cozy. A tiny kitchen to the right of the sitting room, a short hallway towards the back of the room. The walls were a warm brown, the furniture was all cherry wood, with burgundy upholstery. Several tall bookcases were against the left wall, every inch of the shelves were filled.

Hermione was sat in one of the armchairs, her legs resting over one arm, a book and a stack of notes were in her lap.

Harry felt an odd pang of jealousy, to see her sitting there looking right at home.

"Harry! I'm glad you're here!" She began to stack the papers and book neatly so that she could place her feet on the floor and sit properly. "We've been waiting for you!" She beamed at him.

Harry looked to Severus, still holding the door open.

"Do you intend to stand in the door all evening? Take a seat."

Harry did as he was told, sitting at the settee.

Severus sat next to him, perhaps a bit more closely than was needed, but leaving more distance than he had when they were at the safe house.

"Read that," Hermione said, sounding a bit giddy. She placed a piece of parchment in front of Harry. He glanced down at it.

"Yeah. It's the prophecy."

"Read it," Severus requested, his voice a low murmur.

Harry cleared his throat and read the prophecy aloud.

"The dark one seeks to destroy

His greatest enemy, a young boy

Born of the seventh month, last day

He will be marked, paving the way

The man within shall be the cure

For he's the one who loves him, pure

If he denies him, he shall die

As he fights the dark eye-to-eye

Darkness can not survive

When there shines a light so bright."

Harry looked at the other two in turn. He was confused. It was the same prophecy which had existed over seventeen years now.

"Do you see?" Hermione asked excitedly.

Harry shook his head.

"It isn't a prophecy about your death. It's a prophecy about love."

Harry barked in bitter laughter. "Excuse me?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Honestly. It isn't funny. Look, so here, the first few lines explain that he will mark you and you'll be his downfall. But look at this line the man within shall be the cure. For he's the one who loves him pure."

She looked at Harry expectantly as she always did, hoping Harry would catch on. Harry stared at her blankly.

It was Severus who explained. His voice was low and unemotional. "It's me."

"What?" None of this made any sense to Harry, But Hermione nodded emphatically at Severus's answer.

"The man within. It doesn't mean you as a man. It says the man within, as the man who is against the Dark Lord, but is still within his circle- the only one who fits... is Professor Snape."

"But, the next lines say he's the one who loves him, and then if he denies him he will die."

Hermione gave a half-frown and looked at Severus.

The older man took a deep breath. His hair had fallen around his face, making it impossible for Harry to look into his eyes.

"It means that I have my love for you as a weapon against the Dark Lord. That I cannot deny you, I must stand by you and fight- and that is what will save you."

Harry was amazed. He gaped at the older man.

"Fuck. You really do always save me."

"Harry," Hermione whispered and nudged Harry's shin with her foot. She jerked her head towards Severus.

"Hermione, can I talk to you later... upstairs?"

She grinned kindly. "I'll wait for you, Harry. Good night, Professor Snape. I'll see you tomorrow."

Hermione slipped from the room quietly. Severus didn't move.

Harry moved closer to Severus and leaned his head against the man's shoulder.

Severus rested his own head against the top of Harry's and took a slow, deep breath.

"I love you, too, Severus."


	13. Chapter 13

Severus stretched his long form across his settee, his bare feet perched upon one arm, his head propped on the other. It was uncharacteristic for him to lie across his furniture like this but Severus hadn't felt like himself in months anyways.

He stared at the far corner of the wall. It was late, but his mind was too busy to attempt sleep.

Severus couldn't understand. Why him? How was it him? If the prophecy, as he and Hermione now interpreted it, was to be trusted, then he loved Harry. What more, he loved him more than anyone else. More than his friends, or Molly & Arthur, even more than the dog and werewolf loved him.

Love was an emotion Severus couldn't understand. Anger, panic, fear- those were the emotions Severus knew well, and clung to.

Severus could occasionally admit to himself that he cared about Harry. And it was beginning to be well-known that he'd do anything to save him... but love him? He wasn't so sure.

He wasn't so sure he was capable.

Although, when Harry, just a few hours earlier, told Severus he loved him, his stomach flipped like he was being pulled through a portkey- not in a completely unpleasant manner. And in fact, Severus hated pulling himself away so that their evening lesson could begin. Physical proximity to Harry was now where Severus felt most comfortable.

He thought back to the evening's occlumency lesson and tried to make sense of it.

Harry was locking Severus out of his mind longer and longer each time. He was close to a breakthrough. Severus needed Harry to perfect the skill immediately. It was getting harder to be patient. His life, and the lives of others, depended on this.

When Severus finally broke through to Harry's mind tonight, Severus was surprised to see his own image. It was disorienting.

_Harry's mind played out his memory of seeing Severus at Grimmauld, battered and bruised. But this memory twisted away from actual events. Instead of letting the matter go and beginning their lesson, Harry reached out a hand to run a calming stroke over his bruised cheek, before leaning in and kissing Severus amorously._

_Severus wanted to stay there in that memory-turned-desire and Harry's mind quit fighting as if wanting Severus to see it- But in his panic and confusion, he lost his grasp._

_Severus emerged from the other man's mind. Harry did not seem embarrassed, or angry. He simply met Severus's gaze blankly._

_It was welcomed to see him on his feet and composed rather than panting on the ground._

_"You said a few weeks ago..." Harry began, but trailed off as if changing his mind. Harry looked down and smoothed out the front of the white t-shirt he wore, then made to turn towards the door._

_Severus stopped him, grabbing his elbow._

_"What?"_

_"Why? That night that I saw you'd been beaten... you said you'd tell me why. Can you tell me yet?"_

_"No."_

_"I don't like seeing you hurt. I worry about you more than I should."_

_"Yes. Certainly more than you should."_

_"But you worry about me, too." Harry blinked, those thick black lashes falling and rising slowly. Severus swallowed hard._

_"Yes. Certainly more than I should."_

_Harry looked determinedly into Severus's eyes. He seemed much older than his years in that moment._

_"To care about me isn't a weakness, Severus. I've found that caring about you has become my strength, actually."_

Severus adjusted himself more comfortably on the sofa.

Perhaps it was time to admit that he did, in fact, love Harry Potter.

What a goddamned fool he was.

This would likely, in his usual fashion, be the time to mentally berate himself. Instead, he found himself wondering what Harry was doing in this moment. Had sleep come easily for him tonight or was he lying awake thinking of him, too?

Severus snorted out a derisive laugh and ran his hand over his face.

He was falling apart.

* * *

The seventh year Gryffindor-Sytherin class entered the potions classroom just after lunch the next day.

Severus feigned being busy at his desk as they filed in, unable to look at Harry.

Once they'd settled in, Severus begrudgingly gave a quick lecture and set them to their work. All the while, his eyes avoiding Harry.

Back at his desk, a pile of first year Ravenclaw essays before him, Severus allowed himself to watch the young object of his newly found affections.

Harry worked fastidiously, measuring each ingredient with utmost attention and precision. Severus had always known he'd be capable of succeeding at potions, if he'd found the desire.

Harry pushed the sleeves of his robe up past his elbows, then slid his glasses back into position on the bridge of his nose. He stirred the bubbling cauldron with the long handled aluminium ladle the instructions called for.

With the attractive, self-secure young man bent over his classwork standing at the back of the room, Severus could scarcely remember him ever being the scrawny eleven-year-old that he'd first laid his eyes upon.

Severus didn't break promises when at all possible but, in this moment, he was tempted to do so. He'd promised Harry to never use legilimency on him without forewarning, but he yearned to see inside his mind now. Severus's hands began to tremble.

Severus was methodical. He was logical. He was, perhaps, cold even. Severus knew his own mind quite well, but he did not know his own heart. As such, Severus attempted to examine his emotions the way he would examine anything else. He recalled the facts before him.

Harry said he loved him.

He touched him.

Frequently.

They had developed an odd sort of kinship.

Their lives quite literally depended upon the other.

These facts raised questions.

Was this a false intimacy brought about by their forced physical proximity and alliance?

Harry declared this love so easily, but was it of a guardianship nature? Platonic? Or the nearly impossible option- Romantic?

Harry reached for the jar of scarab wings before him. As he did so, he looked towards Severus, and smiled at him when their eyes met. Severus's heart pounded. Harry returned to his work quickly, adding four of the wings, then continued stirring.

Severus knew which answers to these questions he hoped for, but he couldn't determine why, when, or how these desires had overtaken him.

Perhaps the only thing Severus was sure of was that Harry Potter looked absolutely beautiful right now.

"You have ten minutes left," Severus addressed the class. "Then leave your potion sample on the shelf and get out."

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, willing the last ten minutes of this class to go more quickly.

After a few moments passed, Severus heard Harry's voice distantly and returned his eyes to the class before him.

Harry stood face-to-face with Seamus Finnegan. His hands were balled into fists, clenched tightly at his sides.

"I. Said. Shut. The fuck. Up." Harry demanded through gritted teeth. Finnegan grinned awkwardly.

"My apologies, mate. Was just joking around. Didn't mean nothin' by it, I swear."

Harry growled and pursed his lips.

"You're disgusting," Harry told him.

"I said I'm sorry, Harry."

Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to take a deep breath and relax.

Harry shook his head, his eyes not leaving Finnegan.

"I don't want to hear it again."

"Okay, okay!"

The Slytherins looked on at the argument with as much confusion as Severus had- except Draco, who stared at Severus curiously.

"Time's up," Severus called out.

Harry didn't look at him as he passed by him to place his potion on the shelf next to his classmates'.

"Potter, wait," Severus hissed.

Harry seemed as if he hadn't heard, and left the classroom.

Before meeting with Harry that night, Severus stalked through the Slytherin dormitories, counting heads. He was one short.

He quickly realized who it was.

"Where is Malfoy?" He demanded of the older students still sat in the common room, socialising or working on homework.

The group was silent. He searched for Parkinson. She always folded under pressure. She sat in the far corner, bent over a book, but he could see she was only pretending to read it.

"Parkinson," He barked. "Where is Malfoy?"

She looked up and grimaced. "Erm, he's, erm, with Harry Potter, I think," she squeaked.

A few of the boys on the long green sofa chuckled and jostled one another.

"You find it funny he has a friendship with Harry Potter?"

The boys looked to one another, grinning, answering his question.

"It shames me to admit I believe Potter might be a better influence on him than any of you have been lately."

"Oh, we're sure you think so," Marsan said in a happy defiance.

"You've earned yourself a week of detention with Filch."

The fifth year crossed his arms over his chest and huffed, but said nothing more.

Severus recalled, from Harry's memories, the alcove which he and Draco had claimed as their own for their little meetings.

As he approached, he could hear voices. He slowed his steps silently and hid himself behind a corner.

"Dumbledore says I can attend some of the meetings," he heard Draco say.

"That's more than I thought he'd give you, so I'd call that a success, Draco."

Draco sighed. "I don't care about any of this. I just need him to want to save my parents. I can't do this on my own."

"You aren't alone," Harry consoled. "You have me."

Severus's heart beat furiously, and his face burned with raging jealousy. He knew he should walk away, but he couldn't.

"I know," Draco whispered. The blond added, "I heard what Finnegan said today. Is it true?"

"About Severus?"

Severus held his breath, wanting to hear every word that would come next.

"Tell me the truth," Draco said sternly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I hope it's true."

"You know how I feel about it."

It was silence for several long moments. Severus nearly thought the boys had departed. He was going to return to the dungeons when he heard Harry say, "I love him."

Severus closed his eyes and sighed.

* * *

Harry smiled a huge grin. "I did it! I've got this!"

Severus bowed his head. "It seems you have. Do you believe you can keep this up?"

"Yeah, I do. It's effortless now."

Harry had successfully blocked Severus from mind each time he'd tried.

Severus was relieved and expressed the feeling with a deep breath, and sat himself on the settee to his right. Harry sat next to him, their thighs and upper arms touching.

"We can start planning how to take him down now."

Severus nodded.

"Are you ready?" Harry asked.

"Yes."

"Are you scared?"

Severus opened his eyes and looked over at Harry. Harry's lips were wind-chapped. His cheeks tinted pink under Severus's gaze. Gods, what he would do to stay here in this moment. This moment of both relief and fear, every sense heightened, this beautiful man next to him searching his eyes.

"Yes. Yes, I'm scared, Harry." Not once in his life had Severus ever said aloud that he was scared.

Harry didn't say anything, but his face told Severus he understood.

"He beat me that night because he could see into your mind."

Harry's eyebrows rose, his lips parted. "Severus, I-"

"You didn't know. I don't blame you."

"What did he see in my mind that made him harm you?"

Severus's heart pounded in his ears. "He saw that you care about me. He wanted to beat me to remind me who I belong to."

Harry placed his hand in Severus's and laced their fingers together.

"He will never see into my mind again," Harry promised. "Now we can be friends without you getting injured for it."

"Friends don't kiss, Harry."

"No, I suppose they don't. I'm sorry if seeing that dream made you uncomfortable."

Severus leaned his head down, and stopped just an inch from Harry's parted lips. He knew he shouldn't.

Harry was of age, but he was still a student. They still had an entire war laid out before them. All of Harry's loved ones would disapprove. Severus wasn't even sure if Harry wanted this, but he couldn't stop himself. He slowly closed the space between their lips.

All uncertainty dissipated as Harry returned the kiss. The kiss communicated everything that had lingered between them for months now.

They were both trembling and breathing hard between gentle kisses that quickly turned fervent and desperate. Severus swept his tongue across Harry's and the younger man returned the motion.

Everything around them melted away. His head was spinning, heart pounding, breath ragged.

When Severus finally opened his eyes again, he found himself laid out on the sofa with Harry straddling his hips, grinding down against Severus's now hard and aching cock through their clothing. They were chest-to-chest, never breaking the kiss.

"Stop. Harry, stop." Severus turned his head, forcing Harry to pull away. Harry sat atop him, still trying to catch his breath."We can't do this."

Harry groaned in frustration and ground his hips down one last time. "You're right. I know that you're right. We have to be careful."

Severus gripped Harry's thighs. "To be clear, I am not saying I do not want this."

"Obviously, I want it too." Harry grimaced. "Erm, some of the other students have been talking already."

"Excuse me?"

"Seamus today... He, erm, said that you stare at me like you want to bugger me senseless."

"I've done no such thing."

Harry raised an eyebrow, as if to say, given their current position, he doubted it.

Severus ran his palms up and down the sides of Harry's thighs. "I wasn't sure I wanted this until tonight. Feelings do not come easily to me."

"It's been confusing for me, too. I just knew I liked to be with you. I feel safe with you and I miss you when you're gone. Remus saw it before I did."

"How did he see what even we did not see?"

"Who knows?" Harry said lamely. He chuckled, "I told him I wasn't gay."

"Aren't you?"

Harry shook his head, "I don't know. Until very recently, I was convinced I was going to die in battle and hadn't taken the time to consider it." Harry leaned forward and placed his head on Severus's collar bone. He wrapped his arms over the younger man, wishing he could spend all night like this. Harry's unkempt hair lay across Severus's neck and beneath his chin.

"You have time now, Harry. We have time," Severus whispered, not knowing if he said it to calm Harry or himself.


	14. Chapter 14

By Saturday morning Harry finally relented to Severus and Hermione that it was time to tell the Headmaster about their discovery.

Hermione, always astute, hadn't offered to walk with Harry to Severus's rooms.

"I'll go see if he's ready," Harry had said. Hermione nodded and told him to go.

Harry knocked on Severus's door this time. Although in this part of the castle they were unlikely to be seen, Harry had taken it to heart that they needed to be careful. Rumours about the two of them had begun before anything had even occurred between them. Harry didn't want to risk Severus's career, or worse, have anything get back to Voldemort.

Severus opened the door and stepped into the hallway. Severus's face was blank, but Harry knew the man better than his well-trained facial expressions. He knew he must be worried.

It was not a simple conversation they were about to have.

Severus, a very private, unemotional man would have to tell the Headmaster that he loved Harry and that he was the one who was destined to save him. Harry wanted to hold Severus's hand, let him know that he was by his side in all matters, and especially this one.

The two walked silently until they approached Hermione at the bottom of the stairs to Dumbledore's office.

Hermione smiled kindly at them.

"So you see," Hermione said. "The prophecy didn't mean at all what we believed it did. Harry's life can be spared. I think we need to begin formulating a plan. The dark lord will never expect this. It's an advantage for the light."

"You're absolutely correct, Ms Granger. We shall use this to our advantage." Dumbledore looked to Severus. "We will have to call an Order meeting."

Shit. Harry's stomach developed a pit at the bottom. An Order meeting. Remus and Sirius would be there to hear Severus say. "Oh, and guess what? I happen to love Harry Potter. In fact, I love him more than any of you do. And I will be the one to save him."

Well, he wouldn't say it quite like that- but it is absolutely how Sirius's biased mind would hear it.

Harry looked to Severus and bit his lip in worry. Remus and Sirius knew the Professor was homosexual. With that knowledge, was there any way to convince them it was a platonic love? Harry doubted it. Would they think Severus was a predator of some sort? That this was all very untoward? Highly likely.

He chewed his fingernails to keep himself from reaching for Severus.

Harry pulled himself from his thoughts when he heard Dumbledore dismiss Hermione from the room.

"I need to talk to the gentlemen alone. I'm sure you understand."

Hermione stood wordlessly and left the office with a soft click of the door behind her.

Harry finally lifted his head to look at the Headmaster.

"I'm sure you both know why this needs to stay absolutely quiet outside of the Order."

Both men hummed and nodded in understanding.

"Of course, dear boys, I am elated at this revelation. I'm a bit perplexed that I did not see it myself, but I am elated nonetheless. Still, this changes... well, everything. I expect Order meetings will become quite frequent as we decide how to defeat Voldemort once and for all."

If Dumbledore had any thoughts on the news, outside of strategy planning, he didn't indicate as much.

"Oh," Dumbledore added as Severus and Harry stood. "I suppose the Occlumency lessons are no longer needed. Harry, I need you in your own bed every night by 22:00. Am I... _understood_?"

Harry'd been careful to keep his mind closed during the meeting. The way Dumbledore just seemed to know everything without even needing legilimency was frustrating. Harry was living out the most confusing time of his life. A little privacy would be lovely.

"I understand, Headmaster."

"Harry, I will see you back here this evening to floo with me to the headquarters. Severus, I will expect to see you there."

Once out of the office, Harry opened his mouth to ask Severus his many questions but Severus shook his head. Severus was telling him it was not the time nor place for them to have this discussion.

Frustrated, Harry turned around to take the long way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione sat in a circle on Harry's bed, as they often did at Grimmauld. Hermione cast a silencing spell around them, though all the other students were in Hogsmeade.

"I don't know how I can attend this meeting. Sirius is going to kill Severus. What do I say to them? Surely there has to be a way..."

"If Sirius acts like... like Sirius, you tell him 'Look, I get to live. Who cares how?' It'll shut him right up, I'm sure."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Ron. I am just now figuring this out for myself. I don't know how to address it to the rest of The Order."

"What's there to figure out? Snape is the 'inside man' who will save you. That's all there is to it, right? Not that complicated."

Hermione and Harry shared a meaningful look. Harry'd asked Hermione to keep Ron in the dark about the "love" part of it. As much as he loved Ron, his friend still loathed Severus nearly as much as Sirius did.

"Don't worry too much, Harry. The Headmaster will direct the meeting and keep everything in control. Right now there are more important things to worry about than a schoolboy rivalry that's been going on for far too long." She placed a calming hand on Harry's knee. "One thing at a time."

He knew what she was trying to say. That now, in the thick of this bitter war, was not the time to begin a relationship- especially with one's Professor. Nor should said relationship be his focus when he had a dark lord to kill.

And Harry knew all of this, he did. But Severus was all Harry could think about. He couldn't help it. Each day, his feelings for the older man grew stronger.

Harry's opinions on the Professor hadn't changed. He wasn't exactly handsome. Nor was he especially charming. He was kind, but only to Harry. He was loving, but only to Harry. He did have a lovely smile, that he only showed Harry.

He made Harry feel special, loved, desired, worthy. He was intelligent. He was interesting. He made Harry laugh.

And he'd rescued Harry in every conceivable way.

It'd been hard for him to admit to himself that he was, in fact, desperately in love with the man. Soon, Harry would be able to claim him for his own.

Step 1- NEWTs

Step 2- Defeat Dark Lord

Step 3- Have Severus.

Easy peasy, as Aunt Petunia used to say. Harry chuckled to himself.

"What's so funny, mate?" Ron asked.

"Nothing. This is all so bizarre."

"You have to get going, Harry." Hermione said as she lifted the silencing ward.

* * *

Albus placed his cold, wrinkled hand on Harry's elbow and floo'd them both to number 12 Grimmauld.

Harry had changed into muggle clothing. His student robes would just solidify his young age in the minds of the Order members; He was desperate to be taken seriously tonight. But he wished he'd have thought to put on a jumper. The home was uncharacteristically cold. Seemingly thinking the same, Albus lit the fire in the fireplace they'd just stepped through.

Harry greeted each present member in turn, saving Remus and Sirius for last. He hugged them both tightly.

Severus stood by the entrance to the kitchen alone, his arms folded over his chest. Harry did not greet him, he barely chanced a passing glance in the man's direction.

Harry took a seat between Tonks and Kingsley at the opposite side from Severus. He had to fold his hands in his lap to stop them from shaking.

Once the core members of the order were seated, Dumbledore stood and told them of Hermione's discovery.

"But it says Snape is the one who loves Harry most," Sirius said, his voice dripping with absolute denial that it could be true.

"Yes," The Headmaster said. "He must be the one to stand by Harry. They will face Voldemort together."

Sirius stood quickly, inadvertently pushing the old, heavy table into the chests of those sat opposite him. "But Snape... honestly? You must have it wrong."

"We don't."

Sirius raised a stern finger and pointed it at Severus. "You stay away from my fucking godson! Do you hear me?"

"Sirius!" Dumbledore boomed. "You are focused on the wrong thing here! Harry will be saved!"

"Sirius," Harry said calmly. "I will live. Does it really matter how?"

"But I'm the one who loves you, Harry! How could he love you more than I do? You are a son to me! He's evil! I guarantee he has twisted this all around and manipulated Albus into believing it, too! He's either going to hand deliver you to the dark lord or keep you locked away in some dungeon and do Gods-know-what with you!"

Harry looked to Severus. The man sat calmly, his face impassive as if he was utterly unbothered by the ordeal playing out in front of him.

"I trust him," Harry said, still looking at Severus. "None of you know him the way I do."

Severus lifted his eyes from the table to look at Harry.

"And how do you know him so well?!" Sirius demanded. Remus pulled at Sirius's sleeve, urging him to sit down and be quiet. But Sirius had never been one to be controlled.

Harry lost his composure. "I know him well because he has been the only damned one in this room actually concerned that I was fated to die! Ya know what? If anything, this little meeting has only confirmed the prophecy. Do you hear yourself? Instead of rejoicing that I have the chance to live past eighteen years of age, you're only upset that it is Severus who will save me! So, yes, I do believe he loves me more than you do." Harry stepped away from the table, but stopped and turned back to the others. "Fuck you." He looked around the table. "Fuck all of you. Have fun with your planning. I'm happy to be a pawn for your cause." Harry bowed to them exaggeratedly and took his leave, slamming the door behind him, causing the tchotchke on the shelves in the living room to rattle.

Harry plopped himself into Sirius's chair and snatched up the bottle of vodka on the coffee table and began to drink.

Harry's teeth felt like they were vibrating each time his heart beat. He knew this meeting would end with an upset Sirius. He did not, however, consider that this new information would risk him losing his godfather forever. He loved Sirius dearly, but if loving Severus meant losing his godfather, it was a trade he was willing to make.

Harry took a deep breath. He was anxious to know what was being said in the meeting. It'd been going on for some time, which at least meant Severus and Sirius hadn't murdered one another... yet.

The door opened and Harry snapped his head up. Remus shut the door behind him, then sat on the sofa, close to Harry's chair.

"I couldn't take it anymore, Harry." Remus explained. "I needed to talk to you."

"Save it. If it's anything similar to the lecture I'm sure I will get from Sirius, I don't need to hear it twice."

"You won't be getting a lecture from him. He's been pretty well shut down in there."

"Did Severus say anything after I left?"

"Professor Snape," Remus corrected. "And no. He's not said anything. Harry, I am willing to believe he loves you, and I am willing to believe you love him, too. This has been prophesied since before you were even born. While I can be reasonable and know that nothing has happened between you two when you were underage, I also see that things between you have changed. The prophecy also does not need to mean it is a romantic love. But tell me the truth, Harry. Is it?"

He took a long swallow of the vodka.

Harry shrugged. "I can't imagine life without him. It physically hurts me when he's away from me. And it seems to get worse with time."

Remus looked shocked. "That must be the prophecy pulling you both together, forcing you to fulfill it. But, Harry, you are a student for a few more months and your focus needs to be on the war."

"You sound like Hermione."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Remus grinned.

"We kissed." Harry wanted to blame the vodka for his sudden confession, but knew it wasn't the spirits. He needed to talk to someone about it.

"How do you feel about that?"

"It was... I don't know. I didn't expect it. I'm not sure I realized until then how much I love him."

"While I am pleased that you've found someone you love, I must warn you that you can't allow that to happen again. At least not until you've left Hogwarts. It'll put Severus and Albus into very difficult positions."

Harry snorted. "Yeah. That's what Draco said too. Some of the students have been spreading rumours that Severus is some sort of predator or pervert or something. They started talking days before I even kissed him."

"Children are cruel. I remember well. You two must be extremely careful. You need to sever any ties you have to him, outside of Order meetings."

"I don't know if I can."

"You only have three more months. You'll figure it out."

Severus barged out of the kitchen, fury in his eyes.

"Come, Harry. I'm taking you home."

Sirius came out after him. "Home?! His home is here!"

Harry told Remus goodbye, put his hand in Severus's, and stepped into the fireplace.


	15. Chapter 15

Sirius took a deep, fuming breath and shakily returned to his seat once Harry stormed from the kitchen. Several of the Order members looked around to one another, each unsure of what to say.

Finally, of course, it was Sirius who spoke.

The man looked down at the cup of tea before him.

"I am glad that the previous interpretation was wrong," he said quietly. "Harry living through this war is more than I could have ever hoped for."

Several of the others agreed with nods or hums.

"We all understand your concern, Sirius," Molly said. "Although, I do think your animosity towards Severus is unwarranted. He did not ask to be part of this prophecy. And, knowing him as the private man he is, I am sure he is as uncomfortable with this revelation as you are."

Severus could hear each person turn their head towards him. He looked up. All eyes on him.

"It has been unexpected," Severus agreed begrudgingly.

"Do you believe this connection between you will dissolve once the prophecy has been fulfilled?" Kingsley asked.

"I could not know."

"I am sure," Albus began, as if to himself. "That Severus will not act immorally in any way."

"So, you're in love with Harry." It was Remus who spoke, although by the looks on the other faces, Remus asked for all of them.

Severus had scarcely admitted as such to himself. How could he admit it to this group of people to whom he owed nothing?

"I believe what is important is strategy at the moment, not speculating on my emotions."

Remus stood from the table and dismissed himself politely from the meeting.

"Quite right," Albus agreed. "I have some thoughts, however I'd like to allow all of you a couple of days to mull over your own ideas so that we may rejoin and begin to formulate."

As if Albus hadn't spoken at all, Sirius said, "If this love you claim to have for my godson is at all of a romantic nature, I'd just like to make it clear that you should stay away. Whether or not Harry cares for you, you know as well as we do that you aren't good enough for him. How could you ever be? If you care about him, then you will want what is best for him. You are not what is best for him." Sirius spoke calmly, as if reciting well known facts.

It was a fact.

Severus was not deserving of Harry. And it terrified Severus that the feelings Harry had for him were a cosmic joke. As loathe as he was to agree with Sirius fucking Black, he knew the best thing for Harry was to get the young man through this blasted war, and then leave him be to live his life as fully as possible. Severus was antisocial, bitter, old. Harry, without doubt, would be better off without him.

Still, he couldn't allow Black to have the last word.

"I think it is for Harry to decide what is best for him. He is, after all, a man now."

"A man who is still your student," Sirius said with a forced calm.

"For three more months," Severus said, smirking, even at 38 years of age, he couldn't help but to goad his adversary.

"Even then," pure anger was plainly visible in the man's eyes. "You have no future with him. I will make sure of it."

Severus had had enough. Following Harry's lead, Severus stormed from the kitchen.

"Come, Harry. I'm taking you home."

Harry's eyes lit up and he stood immediately.

Severus squeezed Harry's hand as they were pulled through the floo.

They stepped together into Severus's sitting room.

Books were scattered over his coffee table, some passages were indicated with small notes next to them in ink. Hermione had been there. Severus still believed her to be insufferable, but she was indispensable to him as well. She had a bright future ahead of her, he was sure of it.

Harry turned towards Severus.

"I'm sorry about Sirius. I'm sure he's the one who set you off just then."

"Mm."

"What did he say to you?"

"The truth."

Harry furrowed his brow quizzically.

"Severus, I love you. I won't-"

"- Stop. Please stop."

Severus didn't really want Harry to stop. He wanted to hear his words. He wanted to feel Harry close to him. He wanted to feel the quiet peace of reading together as they once had in the safehouse. Severus wanted to hold Harry tight, keep him safe.

Severus wanted to make Harry happy, but he knew he would never be able to. To guard his own heart, and protect Harry's, he had to end it immediately.

"But, Severus." The look of heartbreak and absolute desperation in Harry's brilliant green eyes made Severus want to vomit. He hated to be the one to make Harry feel this way, but it had to done.

"I need you to go to bed. We cannot walk the halls together. You cannot be in my rooms. I can't... I can't even look at you without inciting rumors."

Severus couldn't look at Harry without wanting to kiss his adorably plump lips.

Harry's lip trembled. His eyes began to turn red, threatening to overflow with tears.

"I can't be away from you. It hurts me. It physically hurts me."

"You will live."

"If all of this is because of something my godfather said, then maybe you really are the coward I thought you were."

Severus swallowed hard. "Get out."

He might not be accustomed to romantic feelings, but Severus knew pain quite well. And, fuck, this hurt.

As Harry took his leave, Severus felt that his knees would buckle and he'd fall to the ground. He wasn't sure how long he stared at the door after Harry'd walked through it.

Pushing himself through the bitterness, he took a seat in front of the books Hermione had left out for him and got to work.

The notes were all of various natures and leads. Severus struggled to make sense of it all and made a mental note to seek out Hermione later to discuss her ideas.

About the time he closed the last book and put it at the top of the stack, his Dark Mark burned fiercely.

Severus ran a hand over his face. He was too tired for this tonight.

He pulled on his outer robes, buttoned them as high as they'd go and walked through the dark to the perimeter of the grounds so that he could apparate directly to the Dark Lord's side.

The Dark Lord was alone, Pettigrew puttering about outside of the door. The abandoned house was dark and dusty. Voldemort must be growing paranoid because each time he'd called upon Severus lately, he was in a new hiding place.

Severus fell to one knee and bowed to the monstrosity of a man before him.

"My lord."

"Severusss. I feel that the old man is planning something. I sense it. Tell me what it is!"

"I fear I do not know, my lord. I feel his plans as of late are mostly of a defensive nature."

"Good. Good. This is what I like to hear. Now tell me, faithful servant, tell me why you taught the boy Occlumency? I have no connection left to his mind."

"I was ordered to do so, my lord. However I did not expect him to actually learn. He's a dunderhead at best."

Severus dared to look up from his kneeling position into the ghostly snake-eyed face. Voldemort looked doubtful and speculative. He raised his knobby wand and Severus braced himself.

" _Crucio_!"

Severus lost count of how many times the Dark Lord cast the spell over him before he lost consciousness.

Severus snapped awake, jolting himself into a sitting position. He was in his own bed, but how? His entire body thrummed with raw pain. He slowly pulled the blanket off of his body and stood shakily.

In his sitting room, Harry slept on his sofa. His glasses were skewed on his face, but otherwise looked beautifully peaceful.

Severus hobbled towards Harry, who had one leg crooked over the back of the sofa, and one dangling over the edge.

He gingerly removed his glasses, folded the arms, and laid them on the coffee table. He kissed the man's forehead, then summoned a blanket to lay over him.

Severus then made himself comfortable in his chair, with one of Hermione's books in his lap.

Despite the immense pain throughout his body, reading over research with Harry's deep breaths as background noise, was perhaps the calmest he'd felt in days. He'd be content to spend his life like this, but knew it was an impossibility.

Severus woke just in time for breakfast, still in his chair with a book splayed over his thighs.

Harry was gone, the blanket he'd used was folded and placed to the side.

Just as Severus finished his morning tea at the staff table, Dumbledore asked him to follow him to his office.

"Severus, I believe I was clear about Harry's curfew."

"You were, Headmaster. I was called last night by the Dark Lord. I am not sure how, but I awoke in my own bed and Harry was sleeping in my sitting room. I simply let him sleep. I didn't see the harm."

"The harm, my boy, is the impropriety of a student sleeping in your personal quarters."

"You are the one who initiated this. You insisted I babysit him at nights. Here we are: we've gotten past our animosity as you so desired. If it seems improper, then you are the one who must shoulder that blame. He only feels safe with me and I'm sure you can understand why."

"I am not asking anything of you except that you have Harry in Gryffindor tower before his curfew each night and that the two of you behave in a manner befitting of a student and professor. Get him through this battle, through this school year, and then what you do will not be my concern."

Severus stood, sure that this meeting was over- that Albus had only wanted to chastise him.

"Severus. I hope you understand my worries. I wouldn't have chosen this path for the two of you."

"No one would have."

"I'm sure loving Harry is not easy."

"It is too easy. That is the problem."

Severus had an overwhelming amount of work waiting for him.

He worked over his desk for the better part of the day, determined to have a productive Sunday.

Severus finished the last of the third year essays and reached for the second year scrolls. As he did so, his bracelet vibrated briefly, followed by a muted POP.

It startled Severus to see Harry standing at the other side of his desk.

His confusion must have been plain on his face because Harry raised the bangle around his wrist in explanation.

"That is not the purpose of the bracelets."

"I know, but I had to see you and I didn't want to risk anyone seeing me come down here."

"You have your invisibility cloak."

"And yet how many times have you still caught me out of bed with me wearing it?" Harry grinned apologetically.

"This is dangerous. What if I had been with Voldemort, or Dumbledore?"

"The map. I was careful."

Harry walked slowly around the desk and fell to his knees in front of him. Severus felt his jaw drop and his heart stutter. Harry on his knees before him was not an uncommon motif in his dreams lately.

Harry's lips quivered. He took a deep, shaky breath and laid his head against Severus's knee.

"You scared the fuck out of me last night."

He couldn't stop his hand from reaching out and running his fingers through Harry's mess of hair.

"Is that why you slept in my rooms last night?"

"Yes." Harry sniffled. "When I found you-"

"You-?! You're the one who returned me to Hogwarts?"

Harry lifted his head and stared up into his eyes. "I tried. I did try. I laid in my own bed, I wasn't going to bother you. But then my bracelet started burning. I activated the portkey and it brought me to you. You were in some abandoned house. You were bleeding from your ears and," Harry's breath hitched. "And I thought you were dead!" Harry wailed. "I was terrified! I was finally able to feel a pulse and I brought you back to your rooms."

"Do you realize how dangerous that was? I was with the Dark Lord last night, Harry! What if he had still been there? He could have killed you!"

"I don't care! I'd risk everything to keep you safe! Life without you wouldn't be worth living anyways!"

Severus scoffed bitterly. "Do you hear yourself? 'Life wouldn't be worth living' without me? Your old, angry, hateful, ugly potions master..."

The tears that Harry'd been expertly holding back finally escaped the corners of his eyes and streamed down his face.

"Don't say that," he whispered. "Those were the beliefs of a foolish schoolboy."

He wanted to ask him what his current beliefs were, but he didn't.

"You can't be here, Harry. Do not worry about me. Do not use the portkey bracelet again."

Harry's eyes were still full of tears. His lips still trembled. "Why don't you want me anymore?"

The two parts of Severus were at war with one another. One wanted to shake Harry out of this. The other wanted to wrap him up and reassure him.

"What I want is for both of us to make it through this war. After that..." Anything Severus could have said would sound like a promise. Severus was terrified to make a promise to Harry that he was not positive he could keep, and so he didn't say anything more.

"Yeah," Harry said sadly. "Yeah, every facet of my life revolves around this war."

"Then allow us to end it as quickly as possible."


	16. Chapter 16

Severus lifted his wand to distribute the marked scrolls to their owners. They floated through the classroom and settled quietly in front of the students they belonged to.

Xena Williams scoffed and said to her friend, "Too bad I'm not his type like Harry Potter is. Maybe he'd have given me a higher mark."

She, obviously, hadn't intended for Severus to hear.

"Pardon me, Ms Williams? Would you care to stay for detention and discuss more of your speculations on my private life?"

The terror on the fifth year Ravenclaw's face was clear. She shook her head full of blonde curls.

"No, Professor. I'm sorry."

"Does anyone else have any speculations, rumours, or outright lies they'd like to discuss? Or could we get on with this forsaken class?"

Severus's next class was a nearly identical repeat.

"Harry Potter is fucking him, you know." Bradley Jones, the sixth year Gryffindor whispered to anyone within earshot... including Severus himself.

Severus's blood pressure immediately spiked.

He grasped the edges of the table and leaned in intimidatingly close to the student.

"I doubt Harry Potter is 'fucking' anyone. He's pitiful and awkward. Who would want him? Besides, wouldn't you think the little 'saviour' is far too busy 'saving the world' to be worried about meaningless school boy interpersonal relationships?"

"Forgive me, Professor," the student sounded apologetic, but his defiant eyes spoke otherwise. "It's just that the Slytherins themselves insist he is sleeping with Draco Malfoy."

"Mayfoy," Snape echoed.

"Some say you, sir. But most of them say he is dating Malfoy. Either way, we Gryffindors are just surprised he's a poofter."

The mutters and murmurs around Jones confirmed what he was saying.

"Rumours are despicable. They are the lowest form of entertainment. Given your marks in my class, I suggest you spend less time gossiping and more time studying."

The student glared at him but said nothing more.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor," he bellowed as he returned to his position at the front of the class.

During the lunch hour, Severus noticed dozens of students staring. It seemed most students either stared and whispered at Harry, Draco, or himself.

Merlin, he was involved in a rumoured homosexual love triangle with two students, one being his prophesied love, the other being his godson.

Severus dug his thumbs into his eyelids. This was a true nightmare.

He took a deep breath and told himself he was not jealous at the possibility that some of these rumours were true- that Harry was sleeping with Draco. That was a lie. He was jealous. Brutally, embarrassingly jealous.

The young man had seemed rather experienced when he'd kissed Severus and straddled him... but, no. Harry had confessed his love for him on more than one occasion. Then again, Severus had also pushed Harry away with every opportunity.

If he was sleeping with Draco, it was his own fault. Regardless, Severus couldn't help but feel that Harry was his.

Severus had only marked a couple of essays when Minerva pushed her way into his office that evening.

"You need to put a stop to these rumours." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

Severus sighed, slapping his palms against his desk and looked up.

"In my years of teaching, the only rumours about me were that I am evil incarnate. I did not care to refute those. I am not sure how to end these rumours."

"The students have seen you late at night with Harry in the past. Then you were both gone for quite some time. And not to mention-"

"Draco lives with you and yet there are no rumours."

"I am his grandmothers age."

"I am his father's age."

Minerva pursed her lips. "Young Malfoy and I do not share nauseatingly love sick stares with one another, in front of an audience."

"If I ever look at Harry it is not because I am lovesick. It is because I am lost in thought-"

"Yes. Thoughts about Harry. Do not attempt to play this game with me, Severus Snape. Put an end to this immediately. It is risking your career, your reputation, undermining you as a professor..."

"How do I do it? I have already put an end to all possible interactions with him."

"I have an idea... perhaps if I could persuade Draco to spend more time with Harry publicly, those rumours would overpower the more... illicit ones." She gave him a pointed look.

Pretend Draco and Harry were an item, then.

Severus felt sick to his stomach.

The nausea only increased when Draco and Harry entered the great hall for dinner the next day, holding hands. Draco sat with Harry at Gryffindor table.

Draco effortlessly conversed with Harry and his friends. Severus would never be able to provide Harry with that kind of relationship.

He knew that Sirius Black was, unfortunately and painfully, correct. Severus was not good for Harry and never would be.

Severus could not picture himself holding hands with Harry in public, demonstrating to the world that they were together and in love. Draco could give Harry that.

Severus tried not to look at them too often. The last time he did, Draco had leaned in and kissed Harry square on the mouth. Severus dropped his fork with a heavy clank and stalked back to his personal rooms.

He was in a foul mood the next day. His students all behaved perfectly, seemingly sensing that he was not to be harassed today.

His heavy desire to have a quiet evening in his rooms was thwarted when Albus sent him a memo requesting his presence at that evening's Order meeting.

He arrived rather late, dreading having to attend. Harry sat with a book and a glass of vodka. He didn't so much as look up as Severus entered. He couldn't deny that it hurt to have Harry ignore him so, especially after torturing him with the little demonstration with his godson a few hours before.

He looked at Harry a moment longer, willing the young man to please, please look at him and reassure him that he and Draco were no more than a farce, reassure him that his heart still resided with Severus.

"Severus, we were waiting for you," called Remus from the door way. Severus looked back to Harry one last time. He turned a page in his book and continued reading. Severus dejectedly followed Remus into the kitchen.

His heart dropped in his chest as he rounded the table to see his godson sitting across from him.

"Severus," he greeted him.

He bowed his head in return.

"Draco, tell them what you have learned," Minerva urged.

He cleared his throat and looked around the table. Few knew him well enough to see that he was nervous, but Severus did.

"I had a message passed along to me, I believe from my mother. The Dark Lord has plans to attack Hogwarts... soon."

Many of the members gasped, Molly seeming to be the most distraught of the group.

"Severus, have you heard anything of this?" Minerva asked.

He shook his head. "I think I may have fallen out of favor with him, I'm afraid."

He could see frustrated understanding in Albus's eyes.

Severus was not prone to panic, but he was concerned that he had yet to learn of how exactly he was supposed to save Harry in all of this. Stupid prophecies. They were never specific enough for his liking.

He'd do anything required of him to save Harry's life, but he needed to learn what that "anything" was.

Alastor and Kingsley said they would gather fighters to be at the ready for when the attack occurred. Remus and Nymphadora would assist Minerva in strengthening the wards at Hogwarts and readying the room of requirement to hide and shield the students.

Albus insisted he did not want to evacuate the school before the attack. He didn't want to let Voldemort know that they were privy to his plans. Albus also insisted that he would train and ready Harry himself for the battle.

"Train me, too." Draco demanded. Albus acquiesced.

It made no sense that Albus should be the one to train Harry. Severus was the one Harry would need to work with during the battle to survive. Shouldn't they train together? He would need to speak to Albus about that later.

As they all stood after the meeting, Severus quietly asked Draco why Harry hadn't sat in with them.

Draco shrugged nonchalantly. "He says he's a pawn, not a planner, and that I should just let him know what he had to do."

"Why bother coming tonight at all, then?"

"He came with me. It was my first Order meeting and I suppose he wanted to be here for me."

Severus clenched and unclenched his fists in quick succession.

"You ready, love?" Draco asked Harry as he stepped into the sitting room.

The next week passed easily. Order members came and went quietly each night, preparing the castle, preparing one another. They all lived in silent fear, unwilling to speak of the terror they would be facing soon. Harry neither spoke nor looked at Severus during class, or during meals. The young man was never to be seen very far from Draco.

The rumours quickly began to die down as the students accepted that Draco Malfoy was Harry Potter's boyfriend. It was no longer scandalous to see the platinum blond hair among the ginger heads surrounding Harry at meals or in the corridors.

Severus was careful to never stare too long, but Harry never looked particularly happy. He seemed as is if he wasn't really living, but just allowing life to happen to him. Harry seemed to be experiencing life the way one experienced the ocean, standing on the shore, allowing the waves to crash one after the other against their knees.

Severus stood at the massive front doors to the castle, watching several Order members casting spells and charms on the wards around the grounds. The lightening brightened the sky eerily, followed by incredibly loud claps of thunder. Several of them quit casting long enough to cast shields over themselves against the impending rain.

Minerva, Nymphadora, Hermione, Alastor, Kingsley, and Remus lifted their wands in unison, emitting bright strands of blue energy from their wands. The strands tangled together like a plait before spreading out over the grounds in the shape of a dome.

The rain came with great force, pounding the dry ground, and the windows of the castle. The team continued to work expertly. Another strike of lightning, another clap of thunder.

At this time of the evening, Albus would be in the room of requirement, training Harry and Draco on advanced defense and attack spells that would, with any luck, keep them safe.

Severus left the doorway and took a long meandering trek towards the room of requirement. This is what he was reduced to, walking the castle at night, alone, just hoping for even a glance of the young man to whom he belonged.

Each time he was gifted with the sight of Harry, he was well aware that it could be the last time- lest one or both of them should perish.

Stepping onto the last staircase before reaching the room of requirement, Draco and Harry appeared at the top of the steps. Harry's eyebrows rose in surprise and he dropped Draco's hand instantly. Draco grinned.

"Draco. Mr Potter. I hope your 'classes' are going well," he said vaguely, should there be any listening ears.

"Yes. Quite." Draco answered.

Severus turned his eyes to Harry, whose cheeks blushed. He cast his eyes downwards, refusing to make eye contact with Severus.

"Mr Potter. It is past your curfew. Perhaps I could escort Draco to his dormitory while you return to your own."

Harry turned on his heel and strode away.

"There is nothing to worry about, Sev," Draco told him cryptically as he walked past.

"I detest being called that."

"I know," Draco threw back over his shoulder.

A frustrated breath escaped through Severus's nose.

Severus had two immediate goals: to save Harry from this war, and to hold him in his arms and stare into those beautiful, green eyes until Harry could understand the depth of his love for him.

He wasn't permitted to do one, and he didn't know how to do the other.

If Severus had ever doubted the possibility of his life as a spy becoming any more complicated, he now knew he was wrong.

But, damn, he just wanted to hold Harry now.


	17. Chapter 17

Albus ran his hand over his long beard thoughtfully.

"You're doing very well, Draco. Very well, indeed."

Draco beamed.

"Do you think we're ready?" Draco asked.

Albus narrowed his eyes ominously. "I do not believe any of us will ever truly be ready. It's my wish for you both to learn as much as you can before he attacks. Have you heard anything else?"

Draco shook his head.

Harry placed a reassuring hand on Draco's shoulder. He knew he was terrified, for the fate of his parents, for having to face Voldemort, for his own life.

"People are going to die. All you can do is try to not be one of them," Harry told him honestly.

"That's all for this evening, boys. Same time tomorrow." Albus lead them to the door. Draco and Harry stepped out of the room of requirement. Albus always seemed to stay back once they left each evening. Harry suspected Albus had been meeting with the aurors there.

At this time of the night, Harry's heart would always begin to pound as he stepped into the corridor. Twice over the past few weeks, Harry had seen Severus after the training sessions. He knew Severus well enough to know it was purposeful. He was as desperate as Harry was to see one another. They'd seen each other in class, but it was terrifying to risk more than a glance.

It'd been one of the hardest tasks of his life to keep distance from Severus. When Draco had told him of Professor McGonagall's idea: that they should mislead others into believing they were in a relationship, Harry agreed easily. It was to protect Severus. If it was the last thing he did with his life, Harry would keep Severus alive through this, and he would need a home and career to come back to. He couldn't allow the man to lose his position at Hogwarts simply because Harry was unable to keep away from him.

Harry didn't need to wonder if it hurt Severus to see him with Draco. He knew that it did. But he'd been assured that Severus knew it was all an act to save his reputation. Surely Severus could understand that and know that despite the part he played with Draco, his heart belonged to him always. He hoped Severus would wait for him, should Harry survive the battle.

Without his nightly walks with Severus, or being cuddled against him the only way Harry could calm himself enough to find sleep each night was to close his eyes and let his mind wander back to the safehouse where the two of them had been free to be themselves. Harry yearned to go back there. He hoped that a life like that was in their future. That he and Severus could one day have a home of their own, free from the public's eye. Harry would come home from work, remove his shoes and step into the kitchen, where Severus would be cooking dinner for the two of them. His love would turn his dark eyes towards Harry and give him the grin that was reserved for him alone. Harry would wrap his arms around his partner, breathe in his scent, and place a kiss to his neck. Severus would turn, envelop Harry in his lithe arms and tell him how much he'd missed him that day. Perhaps then they would eat their dinner together, retire to the sitting room and talk about their days.

About that far into the fantasy, Harry usually had drifted to sleep. On other nights Harry would fight sleep to allow the imaginary future-Harry and future-Severus to stumble into the bedroom, tripping over shoes and trousers as they kissed and undressed one another, finally falling into bed together.

Draco held his hand out for Harry to take. It was habit now, just to reinforce the image to anyone who might see them before they part ways to their own dormitories. Harry took the proffered hand. The contact was nice, but didn't compare to having his hand in Severus's.

* * *

"You're dating Draco." Sirius said blankly.

"No. Well, yes. He's my friend. It has redirected the attention from Severus. And Draco knows it will get back to his parents. He's still not above rebelling against them."

"I'm not a fan of any Malfoy, but I think I like the idea more than you with Snape." Sirius sneered the name.

"I'm not actually with Draco. And your prejudices have no weight in my dating life, Sirius."

Remus grinned at Harry over his cup of tea.

Harry continued, feeling brave enough to be honest. "I love Severus."

Harry looked slowly between the two men.

Remus frowned sadly. Sirius growled.

"I am only dating Draco to save Severus's reputation. I have every intention to openly pursue him once the war is over and I've matriculated. I know both of you have your qualms with the idea and I don't know how to soothe them but I love him." When both men remained silent, Harry continued. "As I've tried to tell you before, he's different with me. Sirius, you still think of him as the weak, angry teenager that you knew over twenty years ago. He risks his life every single day for our cause. Isn't that enough to show you he's changed? That he's grown? He's done nothing inappropriate with me. He's patient with me. He's kind. He has spent every spare minute researching ways to keep me alive. He truly loves me. And no, I don't think it's the prophecy pulling us together. I think this is something that has happened between us organically. I intend to never let him go."

"You're telling me Severus fucking Snape is secretly some type of hopeless romantic and you want to spend your life with him."

"Yes. That is what I am saying. I am beyond caring about your opinions on the matter."

Remus spoke softly, "It is only important to me that you're happy, and if he is what gives you hope to make it through all of this, then I can support the relationship. Not long ago you believed yourself destined to die. You were falling apart. It's wonderful to see that you're hopeful and determined now."

Sirius huffed in agitation.

Remus rolled his eyes at his friend and continued. "I do have one concern." He pursed his lips and sighed. "Is Draco aware that none of it is real?"

"Of course he does. He's the one that proposed it. Why?"

"He plays his part quite well. Do you mean to tell me he is not so affectionate in private?"

Harry considered this.

Once they'd become friends, Draco had become more affectionate over time, long before Harry'd spent any time with Severus. Initially Draco had been supportive, perhaps even encouraging about his relationship with the professor, but became hesitant about it. His words often mirrored Sirius's, wondering aloud if Severus was actually good for Harry. Harry hadn't bothered to ask him why his opinion changed. Honestly, he didn't care.

But did Draco behave as a real boyfriend? Harry couldn't say. He'd not had a partner before. All he knew for certain was that he and Draco were close, but he was only truly happy with Severus. Which is why, despite the necessity to create distance from the man, he still sat in the sitting room during the dreaded Order meetings, just to be in the presence of the man he loved.

"I'm not sure," Harry finally answered. "I'm not sure of anything anymore."

"I don't wish to meddle in your private life, Harry. But I'd suggest that if your feelings aren't real for Draco, you need to make that known to him- just in case."

"If we are done talking about my godson's awful taste in men, we could make our way to the kitchen. The Order will be here any moment."

Remus and Sirius stood and went into the kitchen and began conjuring extra chairs to pull around the table.

Harry grabbed the book from the table he'd been reading through the meetings. Each time the fire would flare, signifying another arrival, Harry's heart would skip, but he dared not look up until he was greeted.

Finally the fire flared, and there was no greeting, only the sound of someone stepping through, and then silence. Harry knew it was Severus. He could sense it. He wanted to look up, he wanted to stand and embrace him.

Severus stood by the fireplace, unmoving for a long moment. Being the only two in the room for these brief moments was as close as Harry could be to Severus for now, and though it hurt, Harry lived for these moments.

Harry took a long breath and closed his eyes.

He felt the bracelet around his wrist become warm and vibrate softly. He couldn't explain why, but he knew it was the man's way of telling him. " _I'm here and I love you_."

Harry's eyes stung, but he refused to cry. He'd done too much crying over the past year.

The bracelet cooled to its usual state and he heard Severus disappear into the kitchen.

Draco didn't attend tonight. He wasn't called to the meeting. He hoped Severus would notice this and let it assure him that Harry was here only for him.

The seconds ticked by, slowly becoming an hour... and then two. These meetings had never lasted so long.

Soon the room was filled with the various members again, making niceties and bidding goodbyes. Not a single person seemed happy or content in the slightest. The air of the room was of a decidedly fearful tone.

Each member told Harry goodbye. Molly hugged him a bit tighter than usual.

Harry's bracelet warmed again. He let his guard down over his mind only briefly and saw the image of his own room here at Grimmauld. He looked around carefully and saw that everyone was either gone, or preoccupied. Harry stood and slipped into his room. He pushed the door closed as quietly as he could. The room was only lit by the dim crescent moon.

Harry gasped as he felt strong hands wrap around his back and he was pulled against someone.

"Harry," Severus whispered, and pulled Harry to him tighter.

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Severus put a finger to his lips.

"Don't say anything. I know you don't wish to see me. I understand. I only had to feel you one last time before..."

Before the battle. Severus didn't need to say more for Harry to understand. Voldemort was coming.

"I left something for you in your trunk." Severus kissed Harry's forehead then slipped away so quickly Harry couldn't be positive he hadn't imagined it all.

Harry stepped through the floo in Albus's office. The old man paced behind his desk, as he often did.

Albus attempted a smile, but the pity and fear in his eyes overshadowed it.

"He's coming," Harry said.

Albus nodded. "Soon."

"How long do we have?"

"Moody's Auror team is coming now. Ms Granger and Ms Tonks are preparing the room of requirement to house the students."

"I'm not ready! This can't be happening!"

Albus grabbed Harry roughly by his elbows.

"You are ready," he said calmly. "You have been trained. You have a support system in place. Severus will be by your side as prophesied."

Harry couldn't articulate that he was ready for the battle, but he was not ready for the aftermath. The death and destruction that would surely be left. He'd lost so much in his life already, he couldn't lose any more.

"How do we know he is coming now?"

"Moody and Arthur have seen that his death eaters are circling the castle. Draco sent word to Severus that he has set forth a battle plan to be enacted tonight. You must be ready. Still your nerves, Harry. Do you need to gather anything?"

Harry twisted the bracelet around his wrist. "Just a few things."

"Go, Harry. Meet me in the front corridor in twenty minutes."

Harry sprinted to the dormitory, where Ginny lined up all of the Gryffindors.

Ron spoke to them as they queued. "You will follow your Head Girl and Boy to the room of requirement. You will be silent. You will stay together. Everyone claim a mate at this moment. You will be responsible for one another. Do not attempt to go anywhere or do anything until you've received the all clear. Am I understood?!" Ron looked along the line at each of them. "Good. Go!"

They began filing out. Ginny and Hermione stood behind him, exchanging nervous glances. Once the last student had left, Harry turned to them.

"You don't have to do this. This is my fate, not yours. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to any of you."

"We've made our decision and we are fighting by your side," Ginny said. Hermione and Ron agreed.

Neville jogged down the staircase. "Me, too." He stood by Ginny and took her hand in his.

Harry didn't have time to argue with them. He ran to his trunk to retrieve his broom. Laid atop his belongings was a letter addressed to him in Severus's handwriting. Harry knew he hadn't the time to read it, but opened it regardless.

'Harry,

Do not doubt your capabilities. You've already accomplished the impossible more times in your life than I could count, among those you have claimed my heart. I am with you in this battle. I am with you always.

Be the courageous lion that I love.

Yours,

SS"

Beneath the letter lie a vial of Felix Felicis and a healing potion. Harry swallowed back the luck potion and pocketed the healing potion along with his shrunken broom.

Ron, Ginny, and Hermione waited for Harry by the door to the tower. They looked more like warriors than Harry had ever seen them. Ginny wore a leather jacket, with her arms crossed over her chest and eyes fixed determinedly. Ron had grown impossibly taller and more muscular over the past few weeks. He, too, shrunk his broom down and put it in his pocket. Hermione's curly hair was twisted atop her head in a bun, she held her wand tightly by her side. For the first time, Neville seemed neither nervous nor hesitant. Any time he felt like he had no family, he was wrong. Here they were, ready to fight by his side.

Ron pushed the door open, to see Draco standing there. He held his hand out for Harry to take. There was no one to see them here, but Harry took his hand anyways. They allowed the other three to walk ahead of them. Draco ran his thumb over Harry's hand as they walked.

"If I survive today, I want you to give me a real chance. No acting."

Harry looked up in shock and searched the blond's piercing eyes. He was not speaking in jest.

"Draco, I can't. You know I care about you, but I love Severus."

"He can't give you what I can give you, Harry."

"It isn't about money." Draco dropped Harry's hand and looked at Harry, seeming offended.

"My parents excommunicated me. I have no money. You have far more than I. I wouldn't insult you to think you're after societal status or riches."

"Then what-?"

"Do you think my godfather wants a family? Can you see him waking up in the middle of the night to fix a bottle for a little one? Kissing your forehead as he slips back beneath the blankets and cuddles up close to you? Walking next to you as you shop in the town market?"

Harry could hear every ounce of desperation in Draco's voice. In this moment, as they marched to the biggest trial of their lives, perhaps the end of their lives- he wished he could console his friend, but he couldn't lie to him.

"Yes. I can see him doing those things. He loves me."

They approached the group gathered around the entrance to Hogwarts. Every Order member, aurors, a few of the older students all stood silently at the ready, all eyes on Harry.

Severus was nowhere to be seen.

"Stay strong. Be smart," Albus commanded. "We must not allow Voldemort to impose his will on our world."

Harry wrapped his left hand over his right wrist, sending a message to Severus through the bracelets. Only a moment later Severus approached. Everything around Harry disappeared. He could only see Severus as their eyes locked on one another.

"Are you ready?" Sirius asked, leaning over his shoulder.

Harry nodded, but kept his eyes on Severus.

Albus flicked his wand, opening the doors. The sky blazed red with the constant barrage of attacks being launched against the wards. Each attack thrummed against the invisible dome, echoing around the grounds. The group spread out in formation and began to walk forward and out through the grounds.

George nudged Harry, and saluted him with a wink. "You got this, mate."

Another attack beat down against the dome, followed by a loud sound like glass shattering and crackling.

"We have to stay together." Harry looked up to his left, to find Severus standing by him.

Harry nodded dumbly. Despite the prophecy claiming otherwise, he knew this might be the last time they were together, alive and healthy. Harry reached his hand up towards his love's face, the way he had so many months ago and stroked his fingers against that angular jaw. Distantly, Harry was aware of the sound of Sirius growling in irritation and Draco scoffing.

The whooshing sounds of people landing around them caused Severus and Harry to jump apart. Death Eaters surrounded them.

It was Ginny who threw the first curse, then it was a slew of curses and hexes whirring around them. Masked Death Eaters fell. Arthur was struck in the shoulder, sending him stumbling backwards. Molly grabbed his shoulder to steady him. He was okay. He lifted his wand and continued fighting.

Severus grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him into a sprint.

"They're not our focus. They're a distraction. We have to find him."

The two dodged curse after curse as they ran. Harry spun around and ran backwards, stunning the few Death Eaters who dared to run after them. He knew they would not harm him, Voldemort would want him for himself. But they would delight in killing Severus and he wouldn't allow that to happen.

"Fuck!" Harry swore. "Where could he be?"

"He will find us," Severus assured him. "Best we can do is get him away from his cronies." Severus raised his wand and sent a killing curse flying.

The Death Eater next to him called out, "Wait! Don't! Severus, please." The man dropped his wand and lifted his mask.

"Lucius, join us and I will not harm you." Lucius flicked his eyes towards Harry nervously.

"I love Draco," Harry told him quickly. "I won't hurt you unless you force my hand."

"Where is he?" Lucius asked, looking panicked.

Harry pointed in the direction he'd last seen his friend. "Fighting."

"Thank you," Lucius said breathlessly and took off after his son.

Severus and Harry didn't make it very much further before a voice came from behind them.

"My, my. What a ssweet sssight, Severusss. My intel was correct. You really have formed an attachment to the little... cretin."


	18. Chapter 18

"My, my. What a ssweet sssight, Severusss. My intel was correct. You really have formed an attachment to the little... _cretin_."

"I'd once had an attachment to you, too."

Voldemort smiled cruelly. "I suppose my beatings taught you nothing."

"Perhaps if you weren't so cruel it would have been more difficult to sway my loyalty." Severus spoke down to his former master the way he spoke to students in detention.

Voldemort lifted his wand, " _Crucio_!"

Harry blocked the attack, swirled his wand above his head in a wide gesture, and struck Voldemort with his own curse. It was the first time Harry'd ever used an unforgiveable. It didn't feel inherently evil, as he'd once suspected it would. It felt… _good._

Voldemort barely winced at the strike. "You have to truly mean it, Harry! Haven't you learned anything at this poor excuse of an institution? Really, Severusss, I'd have thought you'd teach him better."

Leaves and grass rustled behind Harry. Several Order members stood behind him.

"Luciusss." Voldemort narrowed his eyes. "Severus, I understand. He will always be the lost young boy I found some years ago… but you?"

"You wanted to take my son. What did you expect?" Lucius spit the words as if they were venom.

Voldemort waved his hand dismissively. "Then it is your choice that you should be dead rather than standing by my side as the ruler of this world."

"It is you who will be dead, you vile bastard!" Sirius screamed, and shot a curse from his wand.

The curse struck Voldemort, causing him to take a step backwards, but was otherwise unaffected. Voldemort hit Sirius with a crucio. Sirius fell to the ground, shaking violently.

"Sirius!" Harry cried out. Hermione and Remus fell to their knees to check Sirius over. Voldemort laughed a cruel, eerie cackle.

Harry pulled his broom from his pocket and returned it to original size. He straddled it and flew high into the air, the cool spring wind blowing past his ears. Harry cast curse after curse, moving his magic so quickly he wasn't even sure what exactly he was casting. The onslaught finally began to take its toll, causing Voldemort to jerk and stumble, but still he stood. Ron joined him in the air and followed suit in the attack. The others threw curses towards their common enemy from the ground.

"No more!" Voldemort screamed. Energy burst from his body, pushing everyone further from him. "I am done with your games! _Avada Kedavra_!" The green light flew directly for Harry on his broom. Severus was quicker. A yellow orb quickly enveloped Harry in the air, and his bracelet began to hum and vibrate. Voldemort's curse struck the orb and bounced away, forcing Lucius to jump away from where it landed.

Harry looked around the orb in amazement. He'd never seen such a protection spell, nor even heard of it. He reached a hand out to touch it. The orb sparked pleasantly where his fingertips rested. An overwhelming feeling of love flooded Harry. This was it. This was Severus's love, in literal form, surrounding him and protecting him. Harry was in awe.

Voldemort screamed a primal, angry yell. " _Crucio_!" Severus fell the ground. His jaw clenched, contorting his face in obvious pain. Voldemort held his wand in the professor's direction. The orb around Harry disintegrated as Severus lost consciousness. Voldemort took one step forwards and added a bored, " _Avada Kedavra_."

"No!" Harry screamed. He leapt from his broom directly over Severus and landed before him. The green strand of magic turned yellow just as it hit Harry. The yellow magic spread over Harry, looking like winter frost on a window. " _AVADAAA KEDAVRAA_!" Boomed Harry. Albus sprinted from the woods, lifted his wand and two waves of the curse struck Voldemort. His eyes became white, they glossed over. His jaw fell slack. Voldemort's skin began to wither and fall away like dust. He fell forwards on his knees, and then fell to the ground. Finally dead.

The yellow magic continued to spread over Harry. Harry turned his eyes towards Severus, whose eyes were beginning to flutter open, regaining consciousness.

And the world around Harry went black as he, too, fell to the ground.

* * *

Harry stepped off his broom and walked to the front door of the old brick house. He and Severus had decided to not be part of the floo network. Their home was also unplottable. And so commuting by broom was his only choice. He didn't mind it. It gave him a chance to unwind after work.

Harry enjoyed the burst of warmth from the fireplace as soon as stepped inside.

"Love?" He called out.

"In here," Severus called. Harry followed the voice into the sitting room and smiled at his partner as he laid his eyes on him. Severus placed a bookmark between the pages and set his book aside. He stood and wrapped Harry in his arms. Severus's eyes shone with a contentedness Harry hadn't seen within them in some time.

"I missed you today," Harry told him sweetly before placing a kiss to his lips.

"You miss me every day," Severus teased.

"Yes, I do."

"I miss you, too. You need to wake up, Harry."

Harry's eyebrows rose in surprise and he took a step backwards.

"What?"

"I said you need to wake up. I'm waiting for you."

"No, please! This is... this is _real!"_ Tears began to fall from the inner corners of his eyes. "This has to be real," Harry pleaded in a whisper. But as Harry looked around the room, it all began to crumble and fly away. Severus smiled sadly then turned to dust with the walls around him.

Harry was left in absolute nothingness. Bright white that stretched as far as he could see.

"Severus!" Harry called out. The only answer was the echoes of his own voice.

Harry touched the bracelet. " _Terequiro_. I need you, Severus. Find me. Please, find me."


	19. Chapter 19

Harry's eyelids twitched.

A few days ago it would have been enough to cause Severus's heart to leap into his throat, but now he didn't flush each time Harry's body twitched or jerked.

Harry took a deep ragged breath, causing his chest to rise shakily. He exhaled with a quick huff.

Severus could tell the unconscious Harry was in pain, but there was nothing more they could give him for comfort. It was just a waiting game now.

He pulled the blanket up over Harry's chest a bit further and tucked it around him tightly. He bent down and kissed Harry's sweat covered forehead. The sun was beginning to rise, bringing with it Harry's loved ones. These wee hours when the others were asleep in the waiting room was the only time Severus could have alone with him.

Severus slipped out, catching a glimpse of Sirius from the corner of his eye just before he began to descend the stairs back to the dungeons.

Harry'd done it. They'd done it. Voldemort was dead. This time he was really gone.

Severus should feel overjoyed, but he just felt empty and numb. His life served no purpose now. It was a feeling he certainly hadn't anticipated.

Classes would be starting in a few hours. Only half of the students remained, mostly the older years. Many students had been pulled from Hogwarts after the battle for a plethora of reasons: fear, trauma, sheer exhaustion, to mourn, to celebrate. Only a few weeks remained of the school year anyways.

Severus made himself as comfortable as he could on his settee, with his feet outstretched atop the coffee table. He stared at the stack of letters. The ones Harry had written for his loved ones some months ago, for when he was gone.

He wasn't gone. At least not yet.

He'd been resisting the urge for days now, but his resolve was crumbling.

He sighed and leaned forward to snatch up the letter on top. The one with his own name on it.

His hands shook as he peeled the seal away and unfolded the parchment.

' _Severus_ ,'

He looked up towards the ceiling and blinked rapidly.

'Severus,

If you're reading this, I'm gone. If anyone else were to read this, they'd think it absurd what I am about to say next. But I know you. I'd wager you're at your desk, or in your sitting room. You're angry, you're sad. And you're not an emotional man, but now you're holding back tears. Don't cry for me, Severus. I've known since I was eleven that I'd one day face a strengthened dark lord. I knew what I would be risking. And I know now that I'll die by his hand. I can only hope that he is dead, too. If he survives, run. You've done more than your fair share of fighting and spying in your life. Get away, far away. Live a life worth living. Do it for me, if not for yourself. If he has perished, I ask that you live for yourself and only yourself now. Be happy.

I know you tried to save me. You don't like failure and so you're upset with yourself right now. But don't be. At the end of my life you gave me things I'd not experienced before. Most importantly, you showed me true acceptance. You showed me love.

You loved me. And I loved you.

I'm okay if that is the only thing I truly accomplished on this earth.

Please follow out my will as instructed.

Yours eternally,

Harry James Potter'

Severus stood and poured himself two fingers of scotch. He didn't care that it was 7 in the morning.

He paced as he read the letter again and again. Finally he tossed it aside.

He desperately wanted to read Harry's letter to Draco, but he wouldn't. He couldn't betray Harry in that way.

A knocked rapped against his door.

Because he could never have one damn moment to himself.

He jerked the door open.

"What."

Hermione Granger frowned up at him, already in her student robes for the day.

"You're drunk."

"I'm not."

"You smell like you are."

"And what if I am?"

Hermione sighed and shrugged.

"Sirius asked me to come update you."

Sirius had? How peculiar. "And?"

"Madame Pomfrey scanned his brain. She said the swelling has gone down significantly. She says he could be waking in the next few days."

"Thank you."

"For what it's worth. And I know you don't particularly care, but we all just want Harry to be happy."

Severus furrowed his brow.

She added, "You make him happy."

She pushed her way past him into his rooms. She was familiar enough with the territory, having used it as a research area for some time. Her presence no longer bothered him.

"Does he make you happy, too?" She asked as if she knew the answer.

"No. He makes me absolutely bloody miserable."

Hermione chuckled. "I don't believe you."

Severus took his seat once again as she claimed the chair opposite him.

Severus closed his eyes.

"He has made my life a living hell. The rumours, the stares and whispers, the sleepless nights. And now he's risked his life just to save me and I'm living in the utter fear of losing him at any moment. I wouldn't call that happiness."

"I'd call that love."

Severus scoffed. "What would you know? You're a child."

She smirked and looked at him pointedly. "No, I'm not. And neither is Harry."

He knew that she was correct. He hadn't seen Harry as a child since his fifth year. And whatever he believed of Harry's friends dissipated when he saw them fight so valiantly against death eaters and Voldemort himself.

"How do you seem so at ease right now?" He asked her before taking another sip of his drink.

"He's dead. Voldemort is really gone. Why wouldn't I be pleased?"

"Because Harry is-"

"-going to wake up." She finished. "The prophecy has been right so far. As much as I loathed divination class, I am choosing to give my faith over to this prophecy. It said he would live. Your love protected him. Now we just have to wait."

"I don't like to wait," he growled.

Hermione laughed again. "I know. And it's been difficult to be patient over the past few days. But you will have your 'happy ever after,' so to speak."

Severus rested his head in his hands. "No, we won't. Harry's life has been hard enough. He deserves more than I can give him."

"You're all that he wants," Hermione said factually. She slipped quietly back into the corridor.

* * *

"Follow the instructions on the board. They're simple enough for even you lot to follow without further assistance. Any questions?"

A timid third year Slytherin girl raised her hand. Severus sighed and acknowledged her silently.

"Is Harry Potter going to wake up, sir?"

Severus took a deep breath. "I believe he will."

There were several sighs of relief through the room. Word of the final battle had already spread throughout the school and the wizarding community at large. Very few still believed him to be a death eater. It was made clear he'd been a spy for nearly seventeen years. He had nothing to lose now.

Severus conjured a chair and sat before the classroom, unlike he'd ever done before. He knew the young Slytherins, and even the Gryffindors, sat in front of him had questions. His Slytherins especially had Death Eater family members, most of them were dead or seriously injured now.

"We won't be brewing today. If any of you have questions, ask them freely."

The students did not hold back. They wanted to know why he became a spy, why he'd joined Voldemort in the first place, what did it feel like to cast an unforgivable. He answered as honestly as could, omitting any details not befitting of a third year student. The juxtaposition of Severus's former life of hiding, lies, and secrecy against his new life where he was free to be honest should have unsettled him, but he felt free. His body felt lighter.

And with this, he was able to offer a genuine smile when his students thanked him for his answers.

Each evening, crowds of people would gather on the grounds beneath the windows of the infirmary. Some held their lit wands over their heads, others held candles. They'd pray, chant, call out to Harry. Everyone was eager to hear from their saviour. As Severus had predicted, in a post-Voldemort world, everyone would turn to Harry. He waited until the last of the crowd died out and made his way to Harry's side once more.

Sirius knew Severus would be coming around this time, as he had every other night. He usually cleared out long before Severus arrived. Tonight, he sat alone by Harry when Severus entered. Severus hesitated but maintained course and claimed the other seat at Harry's bedside.

He smoothed a potion over Harry's forehead, then settled in.

"I do not hate you," Sirius said.

Severus scoffed.

"I didn't say I liked you," Sirius clarified. "But I saw you out there. You would have died for him."

"I still would."

"Then we have something in common."

"Listen, Black. You don't have to do this. I heard you loud and clear the last time. Spare me the speech of me not being a villain, but still not being good enough for your godson. I agree with you. I'll stay away from him once I'm sure he will live."

Sirius's lips parted as if he were about to continue. Instead he stood and left.

Severus's bracelet began to warm and vibrate. It did that sometimes when he was near Harry. Severus had never meant the bracelets to be so intuitive. He wasn't exactly sure how he'd managed it. They were meant to just be simple communication devices.

Part of him was convinced it was his own emotions causing the bracelet to react to his proximity to Harry, but the other part of him hoped it was truly Harry trying to communicate. Once he was sure Sirius was down the hall far enough to be out of earshot, Severus placed his forehead to Harry's and took a deep breath.

Suddenly, flashes of an image appeared behind his eyelids. Severus pulled away from Harry. What was this? Once he'd calmed himself down, he placed his head to Harry's once more and steadied his mind.

He saw Harry in infinite bright white. Harry stood, looking around in all directions as if he were lost. "Severus? Severus!" Harry called out.

Severus's heart pounded hard against his ribs. Was he seeing Harry's dreams?

"I'm here, Harry," he whispered.

Dream-Harry stood very still. "Severus? Is that you?"

"Yes! It's me! Do you hear me?"

"I hear you! Severus, please find me!"

"You're in my arms right now, Harry. You're in the infirmary. Can you wake up?"

Dream-Harry threw himself down onto the ground and began to sob. "I don't know how."

"Keep trying, Harry."

Dream-Harry nodded.

Severus sprinted down the corridor towards the crowd of Harry's loved ones. He told them what he'd just experienced.

Hermione's and Albus's faces lit up in identical understanding. Hermione stood quickly.

"I know how to wake him."

Albus stood as well, "Severus, come with me. We need to gather supplies."


	20. Chapter 20

Albus and Severus walked briskly to Severus's personal potions lab. He supposed Hermione had made her way to the library.

The headmaster pulled the pantry door open and began grabbing various vials.

"Albus, what is happening?"

"Harry is his own horcrux."

"What? How? That is very rare magic. Even the Dark Lord was never able to successfully make a horcrux."

"Yes, but Harry is far more powerful and with more innate abilities than he ever had." Albus set the vials out on the counter and pushed up the sleeves of his vibrant purple robe. "And I think Harry had help. It was you, Severus."

"I beg your pardon?"

Hermione pushed herself into the room. Her hair was twisted into a knot atop her head, a muggle pen stabbed through it to hold it in place. Next to the collected vials, she placed a heavy tome and flipped to the page she needed. It was on horcruxes.

"Harry is his own horcrux," she said breathlessly.

"Yes, I've gathered. But how?" Severus asked with irritation.

"When you lost consciousness, I think your magic sort of... panicked. It didn't know how to protect Harry, so you pushed his soul deep down within. That's why only you can access Harry."

"But we can reverse it within the time frame," Albus added, his eyes still gliding over the page.

In his own potions lab, where he was normally the expert, Severus felt completely beside himself.

Hermione lifted each vial to read the label. "You've got it all here, headmaster. Only missing the-"

"Animagus blood," the two said in unison. "Sirius," they both said, also in unison.

They needn't continue. Severus was already striding down the corridor.

Severus rushed into the infirmary. As Severus came closer, Harry's fingers and eyelids began to twitch.

"I suppose there is good reason he always seems to sense when you're near," Sirius said, sounding almost sad and defeated.

"Yes," Severus agreed. "I need you to come with me."

Sirius and Remus both looked up, eyes wide with confusion.

"I haven't the time to explain. We need the blood of an animagus for the horcrux-reversal potion."

"Horcrux? What in the bloody hell is that?"

Severus sighed. "I can tell you on the way."

Severus stroked the back of Harry's hand, which seemed to calm the twitching. "Goodbye," Severus told him quietly.

As the two walked, Severus explained horcruxes to Sirius, and explained how Harry was seemingly his own.

"So, your love for him, in a desperate move to protect him, shoved his soul so deep down inside his brain that now he can't figure out how to wake up."

"Something like that."

"I'm... impressed," Sirius stated simply, without sarcasm.

Severus arched an eyebrow at the man. "It wasn't intentional. I didn't realize it was possible. But I suppose it makes sense. If his physical form were to perish, he'd still have his soul and we would have been able to figure it out from there."

"Put Harry's soul in a different body, you mean."

Severus winced. "Yes," he admitted. It was not a lovely thought.

"The fact that you somehow did this, while falling unconscious, completely unintentionally... that... says quite a bit."

They stepped off the last staircase and rounded the corner. A group of young Slytherin girls ran past them and up the stairs.

Sirius continued. "If Harry chooses to be with you, no influence from the prophecy or otherwise, I will be able to act civilly towards you and accept Harry's choice. I won't be buying you Christmas gifts or having you 'round for tea, but I'll accept you."

"I- thank you."

"Ah, you're here," Albus said as the two stepped into the work space. "We were lucky," Albus said. "We had this revelation just in time for the correct moon phase."

Severus read over the instructions and saw that Albus was correct. It was just in the nick of time. If they hadn't begun brewing today, they'd have had to wait another month.

Perspiration gathered over Hermione's top lip as she stirred forcefully. Albus hovered over her and added the ginger root, causing the potion to gurgle and glow a nauseating shade of orange.

"Will Harry drink this?" Sirius asked, his lips gnarled with disgust.

"No," Hermione told him, her eyes still fixated on the potion. "Professor Snape will have to smooth it over his skin. Since he is the creator of the horcrux, only he can perform the reversal. This potion takes twenty-four hours to brew, and the reversal time-frame ends tomorrow night at sundown, so he will have to work quickly."

Sirius shifted his weight to his other foot, seeming uncomfortable. "Erm, how much blood do you need from me?"

Without looking up, Hermione handed Severus a small glass vial. "Fill this."

Severus motioned for him to sit down. He propped his arm up. Severus took Sirius's arm in his hand and turned it to expose the light underside of his wrist. He made a small incision. Sirius winced and looked away as Severus placed the mouth of the vial against the fresh blood, urging it to pour into the glass.

Severus had several quips on the edge of his tongue with which he could lash Sirius, something along the lines of the man surviving Azkaban, but couldn't handle a little blood. Severus kept the words to himself. Sirius had put aside their childish rivalry, Severus wasn't above following suit.

Once the vial had been filled, he placed a cork stopper into it and placed it by the rest of the ingredients.

Once the crowds below Harry's window dissipated for the evening, Severus left Hermione and Albus to their work. He felt useless. Potions were his field, and yet he was extraneous in his own lab.

Severus crept into the darkened infirmary, only to find that his own godson sat by Harry, whispering sweet nothings to him.

"You'll be alright, Harry." Draco placed a tender hand over Harry's heart. Severus stood still in the shadows, his own heart pounding, his breath caught in his throat. "I love you," Draco continued. "You'll be awake in time for the graduation ceremony and then we will be free to do as we wish with our lives. Perhaps we could travel the world a bit. Then come back, buy a house, settle down. I'll make you feel so loved. You saved me. I owe you the world, and I'll give it to you."

Severus wished he could give Harry "the world" but he knew he couldn't. He had nothing to offer Harry but what? A small home in the dungeons of a school? A partner that smelled of potions? A crooked, yellow smile every evening and an ornery old bastard every morning? Severus couldn't offer Harry a trip around the world, couldn't offer him financial stability, couldn't even offer him a pleasant disposition.

He'd let Draco spend the evening with Harry in peace. He slipped from the infirmary quietly.

Severus wasn't ready to retire for the evening. He found himself tracing one of the paths he and Harry would commonly walk so many months ago. Every nook and alcove spurred a memory in Severus, some piece of conversation they'd had. It wasn't exactly a pleasant time that he reminisced in currently. It was a time that Harry was convinced he would die. The young man was coming to terms with the fact that he'd not even make it through his teen years. But despite the bitter sadness, they'd discovered one another on these walks. A sharp pain shot through Severus's abdomen and up through his chest. Being away from Harry hurt him. Oh, it hurt.

Just moments before sundown, Hermione wiped away the perspiration appearing on her brow.

"It's ready, Professor. Take it."

Severus ladled the necessary amount of potion into the jar and sealed it carefully.

He and Hermione rushed to the infirmary. Severus held the jar in his hand tightly, refusing to let anything happen to it. This potion was precious. Severus set to work spreading the potion over Harry's chest and then to the rest of his body.

The potion slicked over Harry's sweaty skin the way aloe did over a sunburn. A bit oily at first, but dissipated quickly. It smelled foul, like bottled death.

When the last drop of potion was applied, Severus stepped back with the rest of Harry's loved ones. They collectively held their breaths. The sun sank down lower beneath the horizon, giving way to more darkness outside the window where crowds lit the sky with wands and candles.

Severus pressed his forehead gingerly to Harry's temple, ignoring what the others might think.

"Harry," he whispered against the young man's ear. "We're ready for you."

The familiar vision of dream-Harry did not appear. Instead, real-Harry groaned and lifted his hand to wrap around Severus's upper arm.

"Hi," Harry said in a raspy voice and smiled weakly. "You found me."

Severus didn't move, fearing the others would see the tears now welling across his lower lids. "Always. I'll always find you."

"Thank you." Harry's grip tightened then released.

Severus finally stepped back so that the others could greet Harry. It'd been over a week now.

The others grabbed at Harry, hugging him, kissing his cheeks, attacking him with love and greetings. Some of them cried freely. Severus, however, stepped from the room.

The prophecy was fulfilled. The wizarding world had their saviour returned to them.

Severus was keenly aware of a feeling like thorns wrapped around his heart and lungs.

Whoever had said it was better to love and lost than never to have loved at all- they were a fool. Likely a muggle with a short lifespan.

Losing Harry must be the worst pain known to man. Severus would have greatly preferred to have never loved him at all.

He made himself comfortable on his settee. He thought of how he'd soon be watching Harry leave Hogwarts forever. He sipped his scotch.

The gossip columns would show banal photos of Draco and Harry going about their lives together. He swallowed the scotch.

He'd be invited round Malfoy Manor for holidays. Harry would be there with Draco. He emptied his glass.

Severus would never feel fulfilled by any potential partner or lover the way he'd felt with Harry. He would always feel empty without him. He poured himself another glass.

Soon The Daily Prophet was delivered with the sunlight. Harry, awake in the infirmary, graced the cover of the paper. "Boy Who Lived Twice!" Severus finished the second glass in one swallow. His mouth was numb, he couldn't feel the alcohol burning his tongue any longer.

He read over Harry's would-be-last-letter to him a few times. He poured himself a third glass.

Finally, he wrapped up the other letters with the will and tapped them with his wand, sending them to Harry's trunk in Gryffindor tower. The letters were the last piece of Harry he had left. He would have poured himself another, but he was drunk.

Severus had served his purpose. Now he could only hope that Draco would keep his promise, and make Harry happy.


	21. Chapter 21

"The ministry gave me permission to graduate without actually completing my NEWTS," Harry argued.

"But wouldn't it feel much more satisfying to graduate with scores you actually earned?"

Harry and Ron looked at one another and immediately fell into a fit of laughter.

It felt the way it used to, when life felt a bit lighter... if only for a moment.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine. Do as you wish."

"He defeated Voldemort, Hermione. He will not be wanting for career offers, even without taking the NEWTs."

"Thanks, Ron." Harry nudged Ron with his shoulder playfully.

"Not to sound like Hermione, but, erm, what _are_ your plans after school?"

Harry's smile disappeared. "I used to want to be an auror."

"But you're tired of the fighting," Hermione surmised.

"Yeah."

The three stayed quiet for a long moment. Harry looked around the boys' dormitory. This would be one of the last nights he'd spend here. The true beginning of adulthood.

"For the past year, I hadn't exactly planned to live this long."

"If you could go anywhere, where would you go?" Hermione asked, practically, and not whimsically.

"Back to the safehouse."

"What?" Ron looked at Harry as if he were mad.

Harry leaned back against his pillows. "I felt safe there. I was happy. There were no expectations, no stress. Just Severus."

"I don't know what to tell ya, mate. Snape isn't a career choice."

Harry laughed and shoved Ron. It did, however, give Harry an idea.

"Actually, I think I'd like to open my own shop."

Hermione's eyes lit up. "What type?"

Harry blushed. "Maybe a bookstore. I've grown rather fond of reading." At the look on Hermione's face, he hastily added, "Leisurely reading. Not research. But I suppose I could sell both types of books."

"You do have the money to open a storefront. I don't think it's a terrible idea."

Harry grinned. "I'll think about it."

Ron laid his hand over Hermione's and smiled at her.

Although they hadn't explicitly told him of their budding romance, they didn't hide it either. Harry was happy for them. He really was. But it made him feel a twinge of jealousy. He missed Severus.

He hadn't seen him since the first moment he'd opened his eyes in the infirmary.

For Harry, the love he felt hadn't dissipated at all since the fulfillment of the prophecy, but apparently it had for Severus. It all felt so real to Harry, that he'd not bothered to question or doubt it.

He didn't know how to return to the way things had been before Severus. He knew what Severus's skin felt like. He knew what he looked like right before bed, and first thing in the morning. He knew how he took his tea. That he detested coriander. He liked mystery novels. He knotted his fingers in the back of Harry's robes when they embraced.

Would he ever be able to lay his eyes on Severus again and not think of those things?

Could he think of him and not think of straddling the man on his settee and kissing his soft lips?

Harry had heard the other students talking, of course. Particularly the younger students spoke in grateful awe that Professor Snape had changed since the fall of Voldemort. He wasn't especially nice, but he wasn't the evil bat of the dungeons any longer. He spoke to his students like actual humans. He was more patient and less critical.

Harry was a bit jealous that the rest of the world was beginning to see the true Severus. He enjoyed having that bit of the man hidden away for just himself, but Harry knew it was selfish to feel that way. He decided to be happy for him instead.

"When are you going to take that bracelet off?" Ron asked, stirring Harry from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You've been staring into space turning it around your wrist for a while now."

"Oh. Er, I don't know. I don't really want to take it off."

It was the last thing he had of Severus.

After lunch the following day, the corridors were mostly empty. Most of the remaining students were in their dormitories packing away their belongings in preparation of returning home for summer holidays.

Harry and his friends decided to use the time before afternoon classes to follow suit and begin packing as well. Harry hadn't quite decided where he was going to go after the school year ended, but likely Grimmauld Place.

Harry gathered his things that were strewn over his bed or side table. A scarf here, a book and notebook there.

He opened his trunk for the first time in days, to find the letters he'd written were returned to him. Harry sorted through the stack, debating on if he should dispose of them. But his internal debate was disrupted when he realized Severus had kept his own. Harry leaned back on his heels and smiled to himself.

Severus wasn't sentimental. He must still mean something to the man, for him to keep his letter.

Harry stepped into the potions classroom behind Hermione. In all likelihood, it would be the last time he would ever see this room.

As the few students took their places, Severus stood at the front of the class. Harry stared at his love's feet, unable to meet the man's eyes.

"We won't be brewing today. I will admit, I believe it is a waste of time. There is nothing more I can teach you. Tomorrow you will be sitting your NEWTs and then your lives beyond Hogwarts will begin. If you wish to leave, and work on your packing, or studying, you may. Today, I'd like to offer you my advice, as rising members of our world."

Harry finally looked up in shock. What? Severus changed, indeed.

Significantly.

Severus spoke at length about choosing a career, about the importance of seeing the world, about separating one's self from tradition and familial obligation. He spoke about being happy.

Hermione, of course, took notes, while the others listened intently.

"Who you choose as a partner," Severus continued, "There is more to think about than physical attraction, or social status. Be sure that you desire the same things in life. Being complementary to one another, I believe, is preferable. Each of you have done well in school, you are intelligent. You are driven. I trust you to take the advice I've offered you today and run with it. I trust you all to go far in life... and make me proud."

For the first time since the class period had begun, Severus met Harry's gaze.

Harry offered him a small smile, but he looked away.

"Good luck on your NEWTs tomorrow."

Severus turned and shuffled around some papers on his desk. As he did so, Harry caught a flash of Severus's own bracelet, not under a concealment charm. Harry's heart skipped a beat. A lump formed in his throat.

Severus wore his bracelet, he kept his letter. But his behaviour indicated he harboured love for him no longer.

"Are you coming, Harry?" The concern in Hermione's eyes showed she understood the pain Harry was feeling in that moment.

Harry nodded and followed her from the room.

Draco awaited them in the corridor.

He offered Harry his hand, and Harry took it.

Out of habit? In search of comfort?

"I decided to pack all day. I didn't see much purpose in attending class," Draco explained.

"I noticed."

"Are you upset with me?"

"Hm? Oh, er, no. Not at all."

"I was thinking of sneaking into Gryffindor tonight. Spend some time with you lot for the evening."

"It's not like they can expel you," Harry said lamely.

Draco chuckled. "My thoughts exactly. Maybe I'll turn you to a Slytherin yet."

Severus didn't attend the leaving feast. Dumbledore spoke at length. He mentioned Harry and his friends, and their valiant efforts against Voldemort. The students clapped and cheered, but Harry didn't pay much attention.

He felt dissociative, as if he wasn't truly part of the festivities happening around him.

Draco leaned against Harry's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "Let's go, love."

The group of friends walked together to Gryffindor tower. One last night to be together as students, with no obligations or responsibilities.

The boys dormitory was loud already. Belongings being thrown into trunks, the boys (and a few girls) laughing and playing. Seamus and Dean passed a bottle of vodka between them while Neville leaned against his pillows and laughed heartily.

Soon, the reverie died down. All that was left was the sound of snores, the flickering of candles, and a few close friends gathered on Harry's bed chattering away about the future, with a bottle of spirits being passed around. Even Hermione took a drink or two.

"I'm going to apprentice with Professor Sprout. I might live on the grounds at first, but I think I'd like to have a little place of my own in Hogsmeade, somewhere Gran can visit when she likes."

"You and Harry could be neighbours, then." Harry nudged Ron. He didn't want to talk about his career plans at the moment.

"Oh yeah? You'll be living in Hogsmeade, Harry?"

He took a long drink, and hissed at the burning sensation on his tongue and cheeks.

"I was thinking of opening a shop."

"Me, too!" Seamus declared. "A broom shop. After I'm done playing professionally, of course." He smiled wide, still quite chuffed at having been offered a position on a pro team.

Harry felt eyes on him and turned towards Draco. Draco stared at him with his Slytherin intensity. He hadn't told him of his plans, so he was likely feeling irritated at having learned this way.

"I have an idea," Draco said conspiratorially, still looking at Harry. "Why don't we play a game of dares?"

"Nothing too crazy!" Hermione insisted.

"Of course not," Draco assured her. "We will keep it in the room."

Hermione visibly relaxed. "Okay," she agreed. The others in the circle leaned forward in excitement, some of them swaying a bit in drunkenness.

"I dare you, Neville, to kiss Ginny."

Neville blushed, Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Oy, that's my sister!"

Ginny leaned forward towards Neville. He threw a quick glance to his friends, closed his eyes, and placed a chaste kiss to her lips.

Ron huffed.

"Great show!" Dean slurred.

"Your turn, Nev," Seamus said.

Neville looked around nervously.

"Harry, I er, it is... I've wondered- I, er, dare you to tell us if anything r-really happened with Professor Snape."

Draco groaned.

"Not really. Not much."

"It has to be a real answer, Harry!" Dean chided.

"I kissed him," Harry admitted.

A few of them gasped or chuckled.

"You never told me that." Draco glared.

Harry shrugged. "I only ever told Remus and Sirius."

"So you don't trust me."

"Of course I do!"

"Can we end this lovers spat here and continue with the game?" Ginny complained.

"We aren't lovers," Harry said simply.

"We aren't?" Draco stood angrily, but his foot caught in Harry's sheets and he stumbled backwards. A few in the group laughed. Draco stood, his face visibly red with anger, even in the dim candlelight.

"No, not really, I- I never," Harry stammered, lost for words. "I didn't think-"

"No. No, you never think, do you?"

Draco stormed out of the dormitory. His boots stomped down the stairs. The group remained quiet until Draco's steps were no longer audible.

"Better go after him, mate." Ron frowned.

"Yeah, Harry," Hermione agreed. "I know you're heartbroken, but Draco is, too. Just be clear and honest about what you want and how you feel."

The others looked at one another in confusion.

Harry pulled out his map to see where Draco was headed.

By the time Harry caught up to him, he was in the courtyard, still marching an angry path towards the grounds. The moon was full and bright. Owls and bats called out into the warm night.

Draco swiped his fingers through his platinum hair and turned to face Harry.

"Tell me. Now, Harry. Tell me what you want. I can't bloody read you."

"Severus-"

"Doesn't want you!" Draco screamed. He took a deep breath and continued more calmly. "He doesn't want you, does he? Has he even spoken to you since you woke up? Who's here for you now, Harry?" Draco threw his arms out wide and looked around sarcastically. "I don't see Severus, do you?"

Harry wiped at his eyes. "He loves me!" Harry protested. "He just... can't always show it."

"Can't or won't? I show you love. I hold your hand. I proudly let others know what I feel for you."

"Only because Professor McGonagall suggested it to... to save Severus's reputation."

"That's not what it was for me." Draco stepped closer. "I'm opportunistic. I thought it would let you see that I'm better for you than he is."

"In the beginning, you insisted that he was a good man."

"As an ally, yes. I never thought you'd fall in love with him."

"But, I did."

"Tell me you feel nothing for me." Draco stepped forward again, closing the gap between them. He raised his hands to cup Harry's face and searched Harry's eyes. "Tell me I mean nothing to you."

"I can't say that."

Draco leaned forward and pressed his lips to Harry's.

Harry tried to pull away, but Draco held him in place. His lips moved against Harry's. Harry wanted to protest, insist he belonged to Severus. But maybe his friend was right. Severus had come to his rescue once upon a time, but anything that had been between them then no longer existed. He felt alone. He felt lost. And here he was, wrapped in the arms of a man that he was allowed to love. He didn't love him in that way, but maybe he could learn to.

Harry gave in. He allowed his lips to part.

He melted into Draco. It was pleasant to feel desired.

His bracelet burned against his skin, but Harry ignored it.

Severus didn't want him.

He grasped the back of Draco's neck and deepened the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, this is a SNARRY. Yes, things seem bleak right now, but just trust me! Only one more chapter of Part II.
> 
> Hint (kinda spoiler):
> 
> Draco is a pretty manipulative little shit sometimes, yes? It is no different in this story. Severus has always saved Harry, yes? It's no different in this story. ;)


	22. Chapter 22

Severus closed his eyes and looked away from the window. From where he stood he had a perfect view of the courtyard below, where Harry kissed Draco.

He hadn't meant to spy, really. Now he wished he'd not looked at all. He knew letting Harry go live his life meant Harry would have other partners- but he didn't wish to see it, especially not so soon, and especially not with his godson.

Still, despite the lump in his throat, he couldn't help but to see that Draco and Harry looked right together. No age discrepancy, both handsome, neither turned cold against the world, despite what they'd been through.

Draco and Harry made sense.

In a way that he and Harry never would.

Severus swallowed hard and continued his nightly check for students out after curfew. Although tonight, he wouldn't dole out punishments, rather he would only make sure every student was accounted for, and being safe.

His own little snakes were either fast asleep, or, in the case of the seventh years, tucked away in a corner drinking and talking about their future. He knew Draco had crept away to Gryffindor. He also knew Draco had stormed out.

He was ready for the castle to empty out for the summer. He was tired, in every conceivable way.

In the blink of an eye, Severus stood at the doors to the Great Hall with the other professors, as the students filed out after breakfast, making their ways to the Hogwarts Express.

Many of the seventh years of each house tearfully bid each Professor goodbye. His change in behaviour earned him several goodbyes as well, whereas most years the students simply ignored him.

Severus was fine with that. It felt odd to shake hands of the students who now respected him.

Hermione, tearfully, offered him her hand, which he took.

"I'd say goodbye," she said. "But I fully intend to see you again."

In the past, Severus would have sneered and responded with a hateful quip.

Instead he told her, "See to it. I'd be grateful to know what the great Hermione Granger does with her life." Hermione dropped his hand quickly and stood on her tip-toes to wrap her arms around his neck in a warm embrace.

Severus returned the hug, to see the other professors behind her looking at him bemusedly.

As Hermione released him, he caught Harry's eye, who did nothing more but offer a weak smile, and walked from the Great Hall.

Severus sent a small vibration through the bracelets, hoping that Harry still wore his, hoping that it could convey everything he was feeling in this moment.

Harry didn't turn around.

 _Goodbye, Harry_ he thought bitterly.

"Give it time," Albus told him, as he clapped his shoulder.

"No," Severus said firmly and he returned to his rooms. With any luck, he'd find peace at last.

He needed to return his life to how it had once been.

Content with the solitude.

Focused on work, and not an impossible love.

Returning to solitude felt like too heavy a burden. He was insane to think life would ever be the same after Harry. But he knew he was doing the right thing by letting him go. Severus wasn't always concerned with doing the "right thing." But it was time to start.

But if Severus read over Harry's letter a few times and allowed himself to bask in the pain, who else would it hurt?

The first couple of weeks passed quickly. Lesson plans for the coming year, whiskey, visits with Albus or Minerva. Sometimes reading Harry's letter, sometimes holding it over a flame wanting to burn it- but he could never bring himself to do it.

He hoped Harry was happy.

He hoped Harry was finding himself in a post-Voldemort world.

On the third Monday, Severus woke to find the Daily Prophet on his kitchen table, and a letter from the Ministry of Magic.

The newspaper declared that the trials would be beginning soon. Harry's face was above the article. Severus ran his fingers over that face, traced his cheeks and lips.

He opened the letter to find it was what he suspected: a summons to testify against the loyal death eaters.

He was not worried. He faced no charges, it had been made clear that Severus was a spy and nothing more. But he hated that Harry would have to spend any amount of time in the court room, reliving some of the hardest moments of his life.

On Thursday, Severus woke early, pulled his nicest robes from the armoire, and sipped at his coffee. It was his day in court.

He met Albus in the Headmaster's office and the two of them floo'd to the Ministry.

The wide corridors were always bustling with people conducting business and ministry officials but today it was absolutely filled with journalists and spectators.

Albus smoothed his hands over Severus's shoulders in a paternal fashion.

"Just stand up and tell the truth."

Severus sighed. "I am not on trial, Albus."

"I know. I know."

Several Death Eaters, some Severus recognized, some he did not, stood at the center of the room. Some proclaimed their innocence, but were presented with evidence to the contrary and were sentenced to Azkaban. Others immediately pledged their undying loyalty to the pure blood cause, and happily accepted their sentencing.

Harry sat opposite him at the far side of the room. Severus could barely see him, but he knew he was there. The group of vibrant red hair surrounding him made him rather conspicuous. Among them, a head of platinum blond hair. Of course.

Shortly after the break for lunch, Lucius stood at the center of the room.

"I was a loyal death eater, once," he admitted. "I will face punishment for what I did. However, I committed no murder. And, my heart was easily swayed to the side of the light... a bit too late, perhaps."

Minister Fudge peered down at him over his glasses.

"Draco Malfoy, I call upon you to offer testimony."

Draco came into clearer view as he walked down into the pulpit and then up onto the stand. He swallowed the veritaserum and winced.

"Is what your father says correct?"

"Yes."

"Is he a reformed man?"

"I believe so."

"Is he any danger to the members of our society or to muggle society?"

"I do not think so."

"That'll be all. Thank you Mr Malfoy."

Draco bowed his head and returned to the stand.

Minister Fudge leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath.

"I have a few other witnesses on the list here for Lucius Malfoy. But I have it on good faith from the head Aurors that Mr Malfoy here followed only menial orders, harmed no one, left the death eater ranks, and fought on the side of the light during the Battle of Hogwarts."

Fudge steepled his fingers under his chin and watched Lucius closely.

"Mr Malfoy, I will leave you with your freedom, but you will have aurors watching your every move for the foreseeable future. You are not to enter muggle society during this time."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir!"

Lucius folded his hands behind his back and was released from the defendants cage.

It should have been the end of the court proceedings. The lesser death eaters had been dealt with already in the early weeks of summer.

However, Minister Fudge shuffled about some papers and looked out over the crowd.

"I'd like to see Severus Snape. Snape, come down."

Albus stood angrily. "He is not on trial! I will not have it!"

Fudge smirked. "If there is nothing he has done wrong, he shouldn't fear facing the court. Look, Headmaster, I'm only trying to do what's right by the people."

"It's okay, Albus," Severus said quietly as he stood.

Severus walked into the cage and allowed the door to swing shut behind him, which was absurd as he'd been a free man only moments before.

"Speak," Fudge ordered.

Severus told the truth: he'd joined Voldemort's ranks as a teenager. Lily Evans was his best friend and her death at Voldemort's hands caused him to quickly realize his mistake.

He'd been spying for the side of the light ever since.

The damn Veritaserum made him come clean about the prophecy as well, and the bracelet he made Harry, and that he cared very much for him.

There were occasional gasps, or thoughtful hums from the crowd.

Fudge nodded. "You will not object to my verifying your claims with witnesses?"

"Not at all."

He called Albus to the stand, who echoed everything he'd already told the court.

Seeming frustrated, he then called Harry. There were several loud gasps, followed by whispers.

It'd be the first time Harry spoke publicly, and it would be in Severus's defense.

"Are you absolutely sure Severus Snape fought on your side?"

"There is no doubt in my mind."

Harry looked at Fudge as he spoke. He acted as if Severus was not in the room.

"What exactly did he do for the Order?"

"What did he _not do_? He was a spy and an informant. He risked his life every single day for our cause. He fought by my side. He saved me. Several times, he saved me. And he saved me again during the final battle. There is no part of that man that harbours any loyalty to Voldemort or his death eaters. He is a good man. He should be free to live out his life as he so wishes with no repercussions whatsoever. He did far more for our cause than I did, than you did, or any of you," he said, looking out into the crowd. "He is a good man," Harry repeated.

Once the crowds filed from the room, Severus looked for Harry, to thank him, just to see him, but he was nowhere to be found.

Severus sent a message through the bracelet, a hum and warmth he hoped would convey gratitude, he knew Harry no longer wore the bracelet and it was futile.

Lucius cornered him just short of the exit.

"How about a celebration? I'll host at the manor."

"Will many be in attendance?" Severus asked, unsure of how to ask if Harry and Draco would be there.

"Just a few close friends. Of course I'd love for my son to be with us, but he and Mr Potter are setting off for Tasmania this evening."

"Tasmania." Severus blinked slowly.

Lucius nodded. "Seeing a bit of the world before they settle down, is my guess."

Before they settle down.

Severus sighed. "I shall be there. Should I bring wine?"

"The evening calls for spirits, I'd say." Lucius winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Part II. The next chapter is kind of bittersweet, but you will see the tides changing in Severus's favour. Don't fret, my pets. Severus and Harry love one another and will find their ways back.


	23. Chapter 23

**PART III**

Severus was getting older.

He could feel it in his back and knees each morning when he'd place his feet on the floor and his joints popped and cracked. His body felt stiff until he started moving around for the day.

This morning he woke early. He looked to the clock on his wall. It was only 5, the sun hadn't begun to rise yet.

He stretched his arms over his head and stretched. Then, there it was again, what woke him: the bangle around his wrist vibrating ever so gently. It warmed and cooled, warmed and cooled. It nearly felt like laboured breathing coming from the bracelet.

Severus lit the tip of his wand and brought it up to his eyes for better examination.

Despite having never taken it off, he'd felt nothing of the bracelet in two years. Why did it react this way now? Surely Harry had removed his own before he even left Hogwarts. Perhaps it was the magic wearing thin, and behaving strangely.

But the way he had before, Severus got a feeling from it. He couldn't quite explain it, but it felt like Harry was having a nightmare.

He'd often experienced Harry's nightmares through the walls at the safehouse.

Severus doubted a bangle around a sleeping man's wrist could provide any comfort; but he was willing to try.

He whispered a calming spell against the bracelet, hoping that it might somehow give Harry some relief from whatever tormented him in his sleep so early in the morning.

The bracelet gave one last weak vibration, like an exhalation of relief. He hoped Harry was sleeping better now.

Severus stepped into his kitchen, the soles of his feet protesting against the cold stone floor.

The post had already been delivered.

His eyes skipped over the Daily Prophet, and right for the letter placed to the side of it.

The handwriting looked familiar but he couldn't quite place it. Surely a former student. He received post from alumni occasionally.

He tore it open haphazardly and pulled the card out.

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Draco Lucius Malfoy and Harry James Potter._

Severus let the card fall to the floor. He took a shaky step backwards and sunk into the wooden chair behind him.

He'd always believed he and Harry would one day find their ways back to one another. Had he waited too long? He had, hadn't he?

But what's changed? The large gap in age still existed. Harry was barely out of school, out of his teen years. Severus was still incapable of giving Harry the life he so deserved.

How much time would solve that?

Another year? Another decade?

It didn't matter. He'd missed his chance.

Severus took his breakfast in his rooms. He attempted to busy his mind but it was moot. He had a list of items he needed to purchase that he'd been putting off. Perhaps a day in town would divert his mind, though shopping was a task he loathed.

Once the day was well under way, Severus pulled on robes that were decent enough to be seen in and walked into Hogsmeade.

He purchased potions ingredients he needed from Knockturn Alley and then made his way into more appropriate shops for the less illicit items on his list.

Then, there it was, just as Hermione had told him:

Emerald Books

So named for the colour of Lily's (and Harry's) eyes, the adjective Severus had once used to describe them to Harry so long ago.

Severus stood outside for a long moment, staring at the sign. It was an old brick building. The huge wooden sign was well made and attractive, hanging proudly over the green door.

Severus's feet propelled him forward, seemingly of their own volition. A bell rang over head as he pushed the door open.

"One moment!" A pleasantly familiar voice called out.

Severus looked over the shelves of well organized books. Each shelf was labeled with a different genre. Some especially prolific, popular authors had their own bookcases.

Severus heard footsteps and looked up. Harry had a parchment in his hand that he read over.

"I'm getting in a new shipment of-" Harry looked up. Their eyes met. That face hadn't changed at all, except his jaw was now more angular and he had a fuller five o'clock shadow.

Harry's lips parted slightly, his eyebrows rose, expressing complete surprise.

Regaining his composure, Harry swallowed and set aside the paper onto the counter.

"Hi."

"You own a bookstore."

"Yes, I do."

Severus looked around once more, then back to Harry. "Is business well?"

"Er, yeah. So far."

"I like the name you chose."

Harry seemed to ease a bit at the compliment.

"Thank you." Harry smoothed his hand over his hair, but it was a pointless effort. The hair was still untamable. He stepped forward but paused. Severus took a deep breath and took a couple of steps forward as well, now putting them at arms length.

"Any recommendations?"

"Huh? Oh, er, you've likely already read all of the mystery or crime novels I have at the moment."

Severus couldn't help but grin. "You remembered."

"Of course I did. All of this is for you."

"I'm sorry?"

Harry's eyes widened in panic and embarrassment. "I meant- I meant _because_ of you. I enjoy reading because of you. Gave me the idea." Harry shook his head and smiled awkwardly. "Anyways, how have you been?"

"Well. I trust you are?"

Harry shrugged.

"Thank you for the invitation to your nuptials."

"My what?"

"The wedding."

"He invited you?"

Severus's stomach rose into his chest, making him feel nauseated. Of course Harry hadn't invited him. Draco had.

"It seems so."

"I had nothing to do with the invitations," Harry explained hurriedly. "It's not that I wouldn't want you there. I guess i just didn't know if you'd want to come."

Before Severus could think, he reached out to grasp Harry's wrist gently. Though it was concealed, Severus felt the cold metal of the bangle beneath his palm.

"You still wear it."

Harry looked away, his cheeks tinted pink. "I never took it off. I know it's silly." Harry added more quietly, "I suppose I wasn't ready to let you go."

Severus's heart stuttered.

He cleared his throat and released Harry's wrist.

"Did you have a nightmare early this morning?"

Harry looked up from where he had fixated his eyes on the ground.

"How did you know?"

Severus raised his own arm, allowing his sleeve to fall to his elbow, exposing the bracelet. He hadn't bothered to conceal it for some time now.

Harry smiled. "Sorry if I woke you."

"You did, but I didn't mind. Did you- it's that I sent a message through to you. You might not have noticed, given that you were sleeping."

"What did you send?"

"A calming spell."

Harry rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I think I got it."

Severus felt true joy at knowing he could still offer Harry something, even something as small as a few extra hours of sleep.

"I hope this won't be the last time I see you, Harry."

"I'll send you an owl," Harry promised.

Severus gently took Harry's hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed the back of his hand then strode from the book shop in a flourish of black robes.

Severus had been wrong. Oh, he'd been so wrong. He could make Harry happy. He could offer him a life worth living.

He didn't care if it ruined his relationship with the Malfoys forever, he was going to have Harry's love once more.

Severus deserved happiness, too.

Didn't he?


	24. Chapter 24

Severus was inexplicably content the following morning. Actually, it was absolutely explainable. He'd seen Harry. He'd had a pleasant exchange with him. And while he was not yet ready to face what a fool he'd been over the previous, all-too-lonely couple of years, he was ready to pursue Harry the way he deserved to be.

Only one small obstacle lie in his way: Harry's engagement.

Severus stirred his coffee at the staff table. Students would be returning at the end of the month, but for now the Great Hall was quiet.

Within minutes he was no longer the only member sat at the table. Albus took his usual seat and smiled at Severus.

"Have you read the Daily Prophet?"

"Not yet."

"I found it very enlightening this morning."

"More on the trials?" Severus turned to Albus, ready to hear the new information.

"Oh no, nothing like that."

"Just tell me, won't you?" He grumbled.

Albus unfolded the paper and turned to a page somewhere in the middle and handed it over.

Severus's jaw dropped.

The magical photo replayed Severus kissing Harry's hand over and over.

Rita Skeeter had captured the photo through the shop window.

The short article posed rhetorical questions of Harry's faithfulness to his fiancé and outright accused Severus of having a weak moral compass.

Severus handed the paper back to Albus.

He leaned back in his chair and smiled.

Once again, he'd found himself to be the center of gossip, with Draco and Harry flanking either side.

He began to laugh. He took a deep breath and sighed. Then he began to laugh again. He began to laugh like a madman.

By this time Neville and Sprout became unwilling witnesses to Severus's apparent insanity.

Tears streamed from the corners of his eyes.

Neville lifted the paper and showed Sprout the photo.

Severus finally caught his breath and dried his eyes.

"So you _do_ still love him," Neville stated plainly.

"Of course he does," Hermione answered as she approached the table from behind the dais.

"'Still?'" Sprout questioned.

Hermione took her usual seat by Severus and leaned in close to him. "Tell me the plan," she whispered conspiratorially.

"No plan." Severus grinned.

Hermione pulled back from him, a look of frustration overtook her mousy feature. "So, you're just going to-"

"Court him. Publicly."

"Severus," she hissed in a whisper. "But what if he- I mean, I don't think he would- but what if he denies you? You'll be-"

"The subject of cruel mockery." Still, Severus smiled.

"It's not like you to open yourself up to such criticism. You're so private. I'm not sure this is the way to go about it."

Severus's smile finally faded. "No, Hermione. It's exactly the way to do this. I think it's really all Harry ever wanted. Just one grand gesture from me. His final weeks here I couldn't even face him. I spent every night watching him while he was in the coma, and then I couldn't muster a single word to say to him when he awoke. To fix this, I need to undo what I've already done."

Severus drank the last of his coffee hurriedly and stood. Hermione followed suit.

Neither needed to say a word for Severus to understand she would follow him to his quarters. Severus knew her well enough to know when she was trying to withhold information. The fact that she was following him told him she wanted to share said information, just not within earshot of the staff gathered around the breakfast table.

"Do share," he ordered as he closed the door.

"Draco is dreadful," she groaned. She collapsed dramatically into her usual seat.

"He's always been rather unpleasant in his own way, yes."

"No, he's..." she paused, seemingly mulling over her words. "He's inside Harry's head. Ron noticed it first, actually. I don't think this will be as simple as you're expecting."

Severus pursed his lips and raised a brow, wordlessly encouraging her to continue.

She sighed. "Draco schedules every moment of Harry's days. He tells Harry what to wear. He tells Harry what to eat. Harry _asks permission_ to even write to us."

"That doesn't sound like Harry. He's always been marvelously defiant."

"Exactly. Harry says he likes it that way, that it takes the stress off of him to make decisions. Do you understand now? Draco is controlling him and has even convinced Harry that he actually enjoys it."

"That's abuse."

"It is. And that's only what Ron and I have been made aware of, so imagine what we _aren't_ privy to."

Severus was enraged. "Why haven't you told me this sooner?"

"Severus, I've-" she took a deep breath, looking hopeless. "I've tried. Every time I've mentioned him around you, you change the subject and then you pout for the rest of the day."

"I don't 'pout.'"

"Yes, you absolutely do, Severus Snape. You have had your head so far up your own arse, pitying yourself for feeling like you had to push him away, that you haven't bothered to think about what Harry has gone through without you."

"I wanted what was best for him. I wanted him to have a fulfilling life."

Hermione stood, her face was pink with anger. "Maybe you should have asked _him_ first."

Severus didn't move from where he stood, even as Hermione rushed past him.

She turned towards him once more, "Draft up the courting proposal. It's not the worst idea you've ever had."

She slammed the door behind her.

Severus sat at his kitchen table with ink and parchment before him, and a book on formal courting policy and procedure.

It was early afternoon before Severus knew it, and he hadn't written a word.

He'd stared at the blank paper before him, trying to reconcile that he'd given Harry up so that he could be happy, only for Harry to find himself in the hands of a manipulator.

He'd wasted two years of both of their lives. It was all for naught.

 _Harry James Potter_ , he wrote at the top of the page to begin the proposal. Severus stared at the name for a long moment.

The last time he'd written Harry's name was the night he'd written him a letter before the final battle, telling Harry to be courageous. It was his turn to take that advice.

How could one woo the saviour away from his fiancé? Did Severus even know Harry any longer? The change in a man between the age of eighteen to twenty could be significant. Severus knew that from his own early adulthood.

It took Severus another hour to continue writing the proposal. In what ways had Harry changed? Severus made a mental list.

He owned a shop.

He had typical responsibilities of an adult professional.

A home of his own.

No longer had a dark lord looming overhead.

But he had an abusive partner.

 **And he still loved Severus**. Right? He had to. The way he'd looked at Severus, the way he blushed, the way he spoke. And Harry still adorned the bracelet around his wrist.

He then made a list of things that were likely to still be true of Harry.

Financially stable.

Desired a family.

Powerful.

Intelligent.

Wanted to be loved.

Enjoyed physical proximity and touch.

This was the Harry that Severus would now be facing. From this, Severus extrapolated a few offers he could make to Harry.

Offers he wished he'd have thought to make as soon as Harry was no longer a student.

Severus poured the hot wax over the envelope and pressed the metal seal into it.

However, he did not address the letter to Harry directly, fearing Draco's interference.

Instead, he sent it to someone who could deliver the letter to Harry by hand, someone who could be an unlikely ally.

_Harry Potter_

_Care of: Sirius Black_

_12 Grimmauld Place_

Severus scrawled atop the envelope.

Severus's heart palpitated fiercely as he watched the owl fly away, envelope in its beak.


	25. Chapter 25

Harry walked down the staircase which led from his and Draco's flat and into his bookstore. The first task of the day was sorting through the post left by the front door. There was always a bit of mail from young men and women asking him for a date, sometimes a platonic letter of adoration and thanks, sometimes a request for an interview. Harry set those aside for later. He rarely responded anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to throw them away immediately.

Next, Harry turned on the lights, did any dusting or sweeping that needed to be done, and set to organizing.

Then the "open" sign would flicker to life and the bookstore was ready for business.

The bell above the door dinged quickly and Harry looked up, as he would for any customer, but found that he was a bit sad that it wasn't Severus. Had he really expected the man would come by again so soon? Of course not. Harry knew him better than that.

Or at least he used to, and although Severus hadn't outwardly changed all too much, Harry could sense something different in his demeanor, in his eyes.

Harry was careful to keep his mind closed, but he hoped Severus hadn't been able to discern his own feelings otherwise. Severus had always been able to read Harry like a potions text.

Could he tell that Harry's heart was pounding? That his stomach was clenched into knots? That having Severus touch his wrist was potentially the happiest he'd been since leaving Hogwarts?

_Oh, Harry, you poor sod. You'd told him outright that you weren't ready to let him go._

Even through his embarrassment, he couldn't help but to think Severus felt the same way.

Severus still wore his bracelet. And the way Severus had looked him over like a precious object to admire... it made Harry feel good. It made him feel desired. Draco didn't necessarily make Harry feel that way, but he was content with what he had with him nonetheless.

It was simple with Draco. It was easy.

But as Harry looked over his shop, he began to wonder if he no longer desired simple and easy. Maybe he wanted a mess. He wanted difficult. He wanted to bicker. He wanted passion.

Maybe he just wanted Severus, in whatever form he could have him.

Harry sighed and rubbed his palms down over his face.

The customer picked up a few children's books, paid Harry and then left without much fuss. It was still quite early, after all.

Harry had begun to consider lunch options already, as his stomach grumbled. But the door rang again, and Harry was disappointed once more that it was not Severus.

It was his godfather.

Sirius only ever cornered Harry in the shop when he felt that Harry wasn't coming round to see him and Remus often enough.

He wasn't in the mood to be chastised so he shot Sirius a look that he hoped conveyed as much.

"I received a letter for you at Grimmauld."

"Oh. Alright. You could have sent it to me. You didn't have to bring it down here."

"Actually, I did." Sirius leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "I was specifically requested to bring it to you by hand."

"That's odd. Is it ministry post? They know how to find me..."

"Harry, we need to talk."

Harry frowned. "Go on."

Sirius spoke at length about Draco. About how he was manipulative, abusive, not the right fit for Harry. He'd heard this same speech a few times from various people but Harry'd learned to brush it off. Something about this speech coming from Sirius felt a bit different, a bit more concerning.

Harry wanted to argue, but found he had nothing to say except, "I don't mind it."

"But that doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't seem like you."

"You don't get to decide that."

Sirius grunted, then took a deep, frustrated breath through his nose.

"Tell me one thing: if you were given the chance to restore what you once had with Snape, would you take the opportunity, or would you shun it?"

Harry furrowed his brow. "I- I don't know," he stammered. "It's not a true possibility, so I haven't considered."

"What I didn't hear you say, Harry, is: 'absolutely not. I only want Draco.' Which, if you loved him the way you ought to love your fiancé, would have been your answer."

Harry hesitated. "Yeah, well, you haven't been married so what would you know?"

Sirius winced. "Still it seems I know a great deal more than you." Sirius pulled an envelope from his robes and dangled it in front of him. "Because I know that this envelope contains a potential future with Snape."

Harry snatched the letter from his godfather's teasing grasp and unfolded it quickly.

Harry gasped as his eyes flew over the parchment. Severus's handwriting, he was sure of it. No one would be able to duplicate the man's careful and elegant hand so expertly.

"If you could see the look in your eyes right now, Harry, I believe you'd know your answer."

Harry looked up towards Sirius. "But I'm engaged."

"Which is clearly why Snape sent this."

"I thought you hated him, why do you seem to be his advocate right now?"

"We came to a sort of... peace treaty, while you were in the infirmary after the battle. Harry, I'm not sure if you saw what I did in him."

"No, how could I see anything? He abandoned me as soon as I woke. He made it very clear that he didn't care anymore."

"Then you did not see it."

Harry groaned in frustration. "You've made your point. Enlighten me."

"He loved you. Fiercely. You know all that he did for you. And afterwards, he let you go. He set you free. Initially I was so blinded that I didn't see any of that. He was desperate to have you and yet he set you free so that you would be untethered, and able to live your life fully. I believe it's the most selfless love he was able to offer. And yes, before you ask, it is paining me to admit this." Sirius smirked.

Harry shook his head as if trying to clear it and stared down at the letter in disbelief.

Quietly he asked himself, "Then why is he doing this now?"

"You see, he sent me instructions that I should hand deliver this, but I received a short letter of my own. I think it explains things pretty well."

~~_Black_ ~~ _Sirius,_

_Inside the attached envelope is something quite important. I am begrudgingly requesting that you hand deliver it to Harry, with no others around. I fear interference in this matter, given what has been recently brought to my attention regarding Harry and his fiancé. Because I know your curiosity is quite a force, I will tell you the enclosed document is a courting proposal. I am choosing to go about this in a way that cannot be contested as infidelity._

_As I believe I'd made clear to you before, I chose to not pursue Harry after his completion of school so that he would be able to explore life in whichever way brought him happiness. However, I have it in good confidence that these opportunities I desired for Harry have been squandered and I am now sure that I, in fact, could offer Harry a better life. If he still feels for me the way he once did; I'd like another chance with him._

_I continue to care about him strongly._

_Make of this what you will,_

_Severus Snape._

"You have the chance, Harry. Will you take it?"

"Draco would never allow me to write Severus a response."

"He wouldn't _allow_ you..." Sirius echoed.

Harry understood what Sirius meant. He knew how his friends felt about his relationship.

He allowed Draco to take the reigns because he didn't want to be in control anymore. It had started long before anyone else saw it. It had begun during the Order meetings, when Harry refused to attend and allowed Draco to go in his place. Or when Harry didn't much feel like eating but Draco would pile his plate full and demand he eat. It had started innocently enough, and grew from there.

Harry knew he didn't love Draco the way he should, but he also knew he'd never love anyone the way he did Severus, and so he was willing to settle for far less. That was his only option other than spending the rest of his life utterly alone.

Except that now Severus was an option once more. Should he jump at this opportunity? What if Severus abandoned him again? Harry wasn't sure he could handle losing Severus again.

"I can't risk Draco finding this. Take this back to Grimmauld with you. I'll come by tomorrow to go over it. Could you find me a book on traditional courting? I'm not sure how to write an acceptance letter."

Sirius grinned. "Once upon a time I'd have sooner eaten my own head than see you with Snape, but today, Harry, I cant help but feel that you're making the right decision."

Harry smiled at him, although a bit bitterly. It'd have been nice to have Sirius's support all along.

"And, Harry, come early in the evening. There are time limits on these matters."

As Harry closed up the shop for the evening, he felt as if he were in a fog. All he could think about was the proposal he'd read over, and how he would like to respond. His heart leapt at the thought of Severus publicly courting him. But his stomach tensed with anxiety thinking of how Draco might react.

The fog over Harry's mind was just as thick as he walked into his flat, passed by Draco on the settee, and towards the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

"No hello or good evening for me, love?"

"Sorry. Long day. Good evening."

Harry sipped at the water slowly.

"Get dressed," Draco told him. "I've chosen some robes for you. They're on your bed."

"Where are we going?"

Draco looked at Harry as if the simple question had slapped him in the face.

"It doesn't matter where we are going. I told you to change clothes. We're leaving soon."

And, as always, Harry didn't argue. He took a deep breath, finished his glass of water and went into his room to make himself presentable for whatever social gathering Draco insisted on attending.

Harry tied the bow tie as well as he could and stared at himself in the full length mirror.

He wondered if Severus was in his own room right now, as eager to receive Harry's response as Harry was to send it. Harry touched a gentle finger to the glamoured bracelet and lowered the occlumency guards around his mind.

_Severus leaned back in his chair and ran his index finger over his lower lip, enjoying the sight of Harry looking so debonair in the mirror._

_"Thank you for letting me see you," Severus said aloud._

_Harry smirked at his reflection, at Severus, and ended the connection between their minds._

_Severus closed his eyes and smiled._

Draco called for Harry. Harry grimaced.

"Coming, Draco."

Harry took another moment to stare at his reflection then joined Draco in the sitting room.


	26. Chapter 26

Harry expected a large party somewhere beautiful, filled with rich pure bloods and government officials. Draco wouldn't deign to attend anything less.

And he was right, as Draco called out Malfoy Manor into the floo and the two men stepped from the fireplace. The great room of the manor was filled with well dressed wealthy and important people. Quiet servers circled the room holding sterling silver trays of hors d'oeuvres.

"Ah! There is the happy couple!" Lucius crooned as he circled in on them, his dark purple velvet dress robes swirling behind him. "What took so long? Everyone was asking where you two were. Consummating the marriage already?" Lucius's eyes sparkled with innuendo.

"No, Father. You know Harry refuses to close the shop early, so I was forced to wait for the end of business hours."

"That's not true, I just-" but Draco cut off Harry's explanation with a glare. Draco looked down at his pearlescent white robes and smoothed them out. "What is this party for?"

Draco and Lucius looked at Harry in surprise. "Our engagement party."

"Why wasn't I told about it?"

"I'm sure you were," Draco shrugged.

"Where's Hermione, and the Weasleys?"

Lucius scoffed. Draco chuckled.

"This isn't their type of party," Draco said matter-of-factly.

Lucius was called away by Minister Fudge and Harry rounded on Draco. "This is _your_ engagement party. _My_ engagement party would have my friends, my godfather, the professors from Hogwarts- I don't even know who most of these people are, Draco."

"This is the type of party that the media wants to post in the papers, my love."

Harry stepped closer to Draco, "I don't care what the media wants," he hissed. "There was once a time when you counted my friends as your friends as well. What changed?"

"I'm not a schoolboy anymore. Connections are very important as an adult if you wish to go anywhere in life."

"Any path where my friends aren't welcome isn't a path I wish to walk."

Draco rolled his icy blue eyes. "Fine. Write out a guest list of your own and we can have them for dinner one evening."

"You're not at all who I thought you were," Harry spat.

"Nor are you," Draco said bemusedly with an arched brow.

Harry growled and stalked away.

He avoided his fiancé for the next hour. But one hour was about all Harry could handle of the people around him. He quietly let himself into Lucius's private study and floo'd to Grimmauld.

Remus and Sirius looked up, startled.

"Wow, Harry, you look very handsome tonight."

"Thanks." Harry sat between the men and leaned his head against Remus's shoulder.

"Where were you?" Sirius asked.

"My engagement party, apparently. Wasn't told about it. Didn't want to be there. Here I am."

The two men looked at Harry for a long minute, neither seeming to know what to say.

"Help me write that acceptance letter," Harry requested.

Both men absolutely beamed and quickly pulled Harry into the kitchen.

In preparation for this very moment, albeit twenty four hours early, Sirius had laid out a stack of books on formal courting.

It was a legal process. It involved old traditions. Sirius was somewhat knowledgeable in it, as it was a common process among the elite pure bloods up until around Sirius's teen years. He said his own parents had used the same process.

Sirius pulled out Severus's proposal.

Remus grabbed it and read it over a few times. Harry watched him patiently. It was apparent Sirius hadn't initially shared it with him.

"Wow... oh, wow... _Harry_..." Remus muttered as he read. Remus looked up suddenly. "What are you going to tell Draco?"

"I don't know. I left the party without saying much to him. He must know my feelings are beginning to change."

"Not so content with being his submissive, eh?" Sirius teased.

Remus shook his head sadly, "How did you get yourself into this situation in the first place?"

Remus dug his thumbs into his eyes, it reminded him of Severus.

In the safehouse, when Severus was lost in thought or frustration, he'd do the same.

Draco didn't. He never seemed frustrated or lost in thought. He always knew exactly what needed to be done and how to accomplish it. That was how Harry had fallen into this.

Draco swore that he loved Harry. He'd proclaimed as much repeatedly for years. He knew exactly what Harry needed to do, directed him this way or that. He instructed Harry on how to conduct his post-war interviews, he assisted Harry in purchasing his storefront, helped Harry buy furniture for the flat.

Harry didn't want to think about anything after Severus, he didn't want to have to _feel_ anything.

And so when Draco asked him to marry him, in the way one would ask a friend to go into business, Harry effortlessly said yes.

Draco took care of him, in his own way. It was what Harry wanted at the time.

But that was before Draco began to slowly separate Harry from his friends, before Draco became close to his father once more, before Draco began to micromanage every single small detail of Harry's life. It was before Harry knew Severus still loved him. Before he knew there was still hope.

"How do I start the letter?" Harry asked.

"Address it."

Harry glared at Sirius who chuckled.

"I've got that much. Thanks."

"Are there any terms in his letter that you don't agree with? Those would be first. You have to provide a counter offer."

Harry blinked slowly. "I don't even understand that letter to argue with any of it."

Remus cleared his throat. "Because your parents have passed, he says he has asked Sirius for permission to court you." Remus looked at Sirius pointedly.

Sirius poured water over his tea leaves and nodded his head without looking at Remus. "I've already sent him my approval to proceed."

Remus looked back to the letter. "He then says that since you already know one another well, you can forego the formal meeting but in its place he's asked for one hour alone with you at Hogwarts." Remus's lips thinned in thought. "Okay, yes. He says that this will not be the first date, just something he wishes to have before the official first date. Do you agree to that?"

Harry felt hesitant, but nodded. An hour alone at Hogwarts. But not a date. He wasn't sure what to make of that. What did Severus intend?

"He then says that although traditional wizarding courtships lasts a year, he would like to shorten the courtship to one month, seeing as you're already planning a wedding. He wants to give you time to cancel the wedding or continue it's planning."

"A month? I don't.. that's... but I haven't really seen him in years. It seems too quick."

Remus shrugged. "He's right, though. You're supposed to be marrying Draco soon. How much time do you think you really have here?"

"Fuck. Okay. One month." Harry took a deep breath in a futile attempt at calming his rapid heart beat. He rubbed his sweaty palms over his thighs nervously.

"He then says he'd like five dates within that time."

Harry nodded.

"And-" Remus searched Harry's eyes, his brows furrowed and lips part. Remus looked to Sirius.

"Tell him," Sirius said.

"He doesn't want you to be living with Draco during that time. He says he wants you to stay here."

"I don't remember that part," Harry squeaked.

"Well, you had all of thirty seconds to read it before you panicked about Draco seeing it and made me shove it back in my pocket."

"Draco is going to be livid."

"Let him."

"Those are all of his terms? None of them seem like too big of an issue, except that last one." Harry looked down at his own blank page. "So, what do I say? Just 'Dear, Severus. I accept?'"

Remus cleared his throat. "He says should you accept these terms, let the bracelet know what you need."

The two men across from him looked at him with identical expressions of curiosity.

Harry grinned. His eyes stung where tears of sentimentality threatened to well up. Harry placed his opposite hand over the cool metal.

" _Adeum_."

The bracelet warmed and cooled, and another letter seemed to materialize from the bracelet itself.

Harry chuckled. "Sneaky Slytherin."

"Read it!" Sirius urged.

"Harry, if you're reading this, you have agreed to my initial terms. Knowing you, I am positive you have questions. I promise to answer them when I next see you.

It is not an easy task for me to express my feelings. Admittedly, I don't believe I have ever had feelings strong enough worth expressing. That is, until I came to know know you. To truly know you.

I apologize for the consequences of my actions. I promise you I was acting in good intentions. I see now how very flawed they were. Although I cannot change the past, I will do what I can to reverse the damage I have caused to our relationship, and to you.

Through this time apart, my heart has not changed. From our brief meeting I'd like to think yours hasn't either.

Attached is the first draft of the marriage contract, should our courtship end in my favour.

Yours.

Severus."

Harry's heart palpitated. Gripping the parchment with more strength than necessary, he looked up at Remus and Sirius. A wild grin spread across his face. He couldn't quite identify the emotion devouring his insides at the moment, but it felt eerily close to elation- to happiness he hadn't felt in all too long. Harry looked between the men across from him.

"Go on, Harry. Let us see the marriage contract. The sooner we work out the details the sooner we can send off this post," Sirius urged.

Harry allowed Remus to take the marriage contract and read it over. Harry's eyes had returned to the page still in his hands. His sight locked onto the simplest words written there: "Yours. Severus." Harry admired the curves of the Ss, the determined comma, the spiked V. _Yours_.

_Mine._

_Mine._

_Severus._

Remus and Sirius conversed but their voices seemed far away.

"Harry."

"Hm?"

Remus grinned and rolled his eyes teasingly. "Would you like to read the contract?"

Harry shrugged. "The legal stuff bores me. Give me the high points."

Remus cleared his throat and took a sip of Sirius's tea.

"It's... more than I think any of us would expect of Severus Snape." Remus glanced at Sirius then back to the page.

"You will have full access to his two vaults in Gringotts. One in the sum of 3,100 galleons, one in the sum of... 400,000."

Harry spluttered. "What? But... but he-"

"He must be quite good at hiding these details about himself. How on Earth is Severus Snape worth so much?" Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged and turned back to Harry. "He says all of this is yours, should the two of you marry, minus the amount required to buy whichever home you so choose. I guess he doesn't expect you to want to live in Hogwarts dungeons."

Harry furrowed his brow. "But I wouldn't mind that at all."

"He says he will also do what you see fit to grow your bookshop, and that he will change careers or retire, depending on what you wish."

Harry raised his hand, begging Remus to stop. "The entire contract is saying he will give me everything he has and do whatever I want."

Remus sighed and nodded. "Essentially."

Harry grabbed the contract from Remus and picked up his quill. He drew a dark X through it, so hard it nearly punctured the parchment in several places.

Harry folded the contract and handed it to Sirius.

"Send it, please." Sirius took it and nodded. "So what happens now?"

"There'll be an announcement in the special events section of The Prophet."

"Like with the weddings?"

"Exactly. It pretty much tells everyone you're being courted, and by whom. It opens you up to receiving proposals from others as well, but you don't have to accept any of them. Hell, you won't even have to open them."

Harry sighed. "That's one helluva way for Draco to find out... Is this going to be a scandal?"

"Maybe," Sirius answered honestly.

"Still want to go through with this?" Remus asked.

Harry grinned.


	27. Chapter 27

Severus unfolded the paper, his fingers shaking only slightly. He found his own proposed contract, with no changes other than a large X drawn through it. Harry had agreed to the courting, but seemed to be utterly against the marriage contract. Severus felt a bit perplexed. He'd offered everything he could to Harry in the first draft of the contract.

Rather than assuming the worst, which he could admit was a bad habit of his, Severus took a deep breath and turned his attention towards his wardrobe.

After his classes for the day, he'd be meeting with Harry here at Hogwarts. He wanted to look his best.

Severus was anxious. Every nerve ending he possessed seemed to be teeming with energy and tingling just beneath his skin. In one month he would be either engaged to Harry, or would likely never see him again. Either option would be a life-changing one.

Should he wear the dark green robes? No, something about the colour made him feel too stereotypically Slytherin. The navy blue? No, the detailed stitching in them felt too ornate for the occasion.

Severus growled out of frustration. He scribbled a quick note to Hermione and sent it to her with a flick of his wand. Just as quickly, he received a note in return.

_Help is on the way._

Severus rolled his eyes. He wasn't a damsel in distress, he just needed an outside opinion in wardrobe. Severus waited five minutes very patiently. But five turned to twenty and he moved to the settee to a read a bit. He couldn't focus and read the same paragraph several times over. Severus checked the time and it had been an hour, time for afternoon classes to commence.

Severus made his way to the classroom, his teaching robes whipping around behind him as dramatically as they always had. And although his image as the hateful old bastard bat of the dungeons had long dissipated, old habits died hard and so he still stalked the corridors looking sour and intimidating. Nonetheless, students now greeted him with waves and smiles.

"Good afternoon, Professor!"

"Hello, Professor Snape!"

Severus greeted them with a curt bow of his head.

Inside his classroom, the tittering of students was louder and more chaotic than usual.

He took his place at the front of the class and raised an eyebrow, silently commanding their attention.

Slowly the whispers and giggles came to an end.

"What..." he looked slowly between each student. "Has gotten you all so excited?"

A few of the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs glanced at one another nervously. Several of the girls had dreamy smiles on their faces.

"A bit early to be so excited for the end of year ball, is it not?"

The students remained silent. He sighed.

"Meadows," he pointed to the blonde fourth year at the front of the class. "Enlighten me to what is so exciting."

"We've read The Prophet. Congratulations, sir! We're all hoping for a favorable outcome for you."

Severus took a slow step backwards. "Excuse me? What-?"

"One second, sir."

Meadows sorted through her satchel briefly then produced a wrinkled copy of the days Prophet.

Amongst the announcements of weddings, engagements, and births were a few announcements of formal courtships. One of which detailed his and Harry's.

It was brief, as it wasn't one of Skeeters gossip columns.

Severus looked back to his class.

"Ya know," began Ian Finnegan. "My cousin, Seamus, did say he thought you and Harry Potter always fancied one another."

Meadows giggled and nudged her friend to her left. "We always rather thought he and Professor Granger got along a bit well…"

"Professor Granger!" He scoffed. "Enough about my private life, let's get to work for the day."

Severus knew the courtship would be public knowledge, of course. But he'd been under the impression he'd receive a warning before it was published. As he gave the class their instructions for today's potion, his stomach sat low and heavy in his abdomen.

He was worried for Harry. If it was now being spoken about publicly, Harry would be forced to face Draco and his family.

The class set to work and Severus circled through them checking their progress.

"That isn't right," he said gently. The quiet blonde looked up at him and worried her lip.

"How do I fix it?"

"Try adding a bit of wormwood, then stir counter clockwise."

She grinned. "So not a total loss?"

"Not yet." Severus smiled at her and she began adding the wormwood.

Severus no longer wholly loathed teaching the way he once had. Now that he was not the common object of detestation amongst students, he found that teaching came more naturally. He'd once insisted that he rather enjoyed being hated by every student, but he actually quite appreciated being liked and respected these days. Of course, it was also easier to be nice when he wasn't always exhausted from risking his life each night leading a dual life as a spy.

His classes ended for the day and Severus stepped from the classroom to find Ronald Weasley awaiting him in the corridor.

"Professor!" Ron offered him a genuine smile. "'Mione tells me you need wardrobe help."

Severus rolled his eyes. "So she sent you, naturally. The king of fashion."

"Look, mate, I may not be trendy myself, but I know what Harry likes."

Severus groaned. The two set off towards his rooms.

"For what it's worth, we're all glad you're doing this. Can't be easy to do, for a private man like yourself. But we've always been Team Severus. And, honestly, anyone is better than Draco." They stepped into Severus's sitting room. "Alright, show me the options."

* * *

Severus paced his classroom that evening after dinner. He'd lit the room with candles hovering along the walls. He checked the time again. His heart was racing. Was he making a mistake? Should he have left Harry alone? Was he sure he could really make him happy? Was Harry already too content with Draco to ever choose Severus over him? Draco was young and handsome and charming...

A gentle knock sounded against the heavy dungeon door.

Severus pulled it open slowly.

Harry smiled at him. His hair was somewhat tamed and combed to the side. He wore a tight white muggle t-shirt and dark jeans with black leather boots. He had his hands tucked into his pockets. He'd clearly not shaved in the week since they'd last met, giving Harry a short but well groomed beard. It suited him.

Harry's eyes looked Severus over. He felt his palms begin to perspire.

"You look well," Harry said. "It's good to see you."

Severus stepped to the side, allowing Harry to enter. "Thank you."

Harry looked around the classroom, still smiling.

"It hasn't changed much."

"No, I suppose it hasn't."

Severus had pulled two student chairs to the center of the room and transfigured them into comfortable upholstered ones. He motioned for Harry to take a seat as he did the same.

"So this is the 'first meeting' according to the courtship ritual."

Severus nodded and crossed one ankle over the other. "How did Draco take the announcement that was made in today's Prophet?" Severus asked bluntly.

Harry grimaced and scratched his chin.

"Er, well, he didn't hit me."

"He's hit you before?!" Severus sat up straighter, feeling panicked.

Harry chuckled and placed a calming hand on his knee. "No, Severus. I was teasing." Harry sat back in his seat and removed his hand. Severus found that he instantly missed the contact. "He wasn't happy. Although I think we can both understand why. He didn't speak to me at all as I packed some of my belongings. He probably didn't he feel he could, since Sirius was there to help me. My godfather was overly excited to have me coming back to Grimmauld, you see." Severus nodded and listened intently. "You didn't have to have me leave my flat, by the way."

Severus sighed. He should have practiced some answers to the questions he knew Harry would ask.

"I felt that you living with Draco... gave him an unfair advantage. I have five dates planned for the next month, whereas he would receive the rest of your free time."

Harry grinned mischievously and nodded. "You didn't want me to leave dinner with you and go home to snog him."

Severus winced. "My thoughts were along those lines, yes."

Harry shrugged. "We don't snog often anyways."

"I'd like to address that later. For now I'm wondering why you denied the entirety of the marriage contract?"

Harry glanced around the room. "How'd you build up so much wealth?"

"I'd... hoped... that one day you might find your way back to me. I started a business on the side providing potions to private buyers. I wanted to have something to offer you. It's not as much as the Malfoys have, of course."

"To have made so much in only a couple of years, your business must be doing very well."

"It is."

"If this business makes you happy, I am happy. But I don't want your money. If I wanted to buy another home, I could buy one. I don't need you to do that for me. Tell me what else you can offer."

Severus looked at him quizzically. He had nothing else to give him.

As if understanding, Harry continued. He leaned forward, his vibrant green eyes piercing into Severus's dark ones.

"I'll answer first. I can offer you a faithful partner, no lack of affection, support in all matters... even when I think you're wrong." Harry grinned teasingly. "I can offer you a home- the dwelling is irrelevant, I can offer you a home, despite which roof we reside under." Harry took a deep breath and looked down towards his fidgeting hands. "I want back what we had at the safe house. We were ourselves. There were no expectations or pressure. We drank, we laughed, we sat comfortably in silence."

Severus's throat suddenly felt so dry he couldn't swallow. He nodded, even as he still sought to fully comprehend what Harry was telling him.

Harry clasped his hands around Severus's.

"I'm telling you," Harry tilted his head, capturing Severus's eye contact and commanding his attention. "I fell in love with you in the safehouse. I will never require more of you than what you offered me there."

Severus cleared his throat, and looked away so that he could blink away any emotions that might threaten to arise.

"What else can I offer you? What would you like?"

Severus shook his head. "That's not how wizarding courtships operate. I'm the one doing the courting, you see."

Harry laughed. "I don't give a damn how they work." Harry sighed and asked more gently, "What more can I offer you?"

In that moment Severus desperately wanted to allow his lips to capture Harry's and kiss the young man into oblivion, but the courtship didn't allow for such contact yet. He began to tremble as he resisted the urge.

"Only what you offered in the safehouse."

Harry grinned. "I used to fantasize that our future would be just as it was when we were there. Even the home looked the same."

"You fantasized about our future." Severus felt his eyes widen in amazement.

"Of course I did. It's what got me through. It's what kept me holding on."

"And then I shunned it the moment you woke up."

Harry bit his lip and nodded. In a sudden wave of surety Harry looked back up quickly with something like anger burning behind his eyes. "Yes. Yes, you did. I needed you. Is that what you brought me here to say? I needed you."

"Allow me to explain. I thought-"

"Yeah. Sirius explained. I get it. But right now I look at you and I think that you were just terrified I'd end up changing my mind about you. You were scared I'd leave you so you left me first."

Harry's words stung. They stung because they were true. "My pride-"

"-Fuck your pride!"

"Harry, stop!"

Severus found that somehow they'd both jumped from their seats and were standing chest to chest, red faced and panting. He could feel Harry's breath on his face. He stared at the perfect Cupid's bow nestled so neatly above Harry's full lips. His stomach fluttered like caged Cornish pixies.

"Lay down," Severus commanded, though his words were only a husky whisper.


	28. Chapter 28

Harry followed Severus's request and made his way to the wooden slab of a table Severus had transfigured in the corner of the room.

He felt insecure in this moment, but chose to trust the older man.

Severus hovered over him, the red tint to his cheeks finally fading. Severus pulled up Harry's sleeves, and examined his arms. He pulled at the hem of his shirt to expose his abdomen. He checked over his calves, his neck. Each time Severus's fingertips caressed him, the touched skin would ignite, begging for more contact. Severus remained impassive and professional in demeanor.

"What are you looking for?"

"Bruises."

Harry sighed. "I told you he's never harmed me. You're acting like Sirius."

Severus ignored the comment. He lifted his wand and tapped various parts of his body.

"Relax your Occlumency. I won't invade your mind."

Harry did as he was told. He felt Severus enter his mind very briefly. The man took a small step back and crossed his arms. Harry shivered.

"There are no signs of manipulation. You let him do this to you."

"Do what exactly? I told you-"

"- You let him turn you into his obedient little submissive. Hermione has told me-"

"All about how Draco rules my life. Yeah, I get it." Harry sat up, allowing his feet to dangle between them.

"I don't mean to place blame on the victim. But you let him do this. You let him get into your head... why?"

Harry shrugged. "I'm tired."

Severus sighed. "I'll let you go so you can rest."

Harry grabbed Severus's wrist to keep him from walking away.

"No. I'm _tired_." Harry all but whimpered. "I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue. I don't want to have to think. I don't want to feel. Being with Draco has given me that. I feel nothing, I think about nothing. He takes care of me, in his own way."

"Life is something you _live_ , Harry. You can't sit back and just let life _happen_ to you."

"Everything in my life has just 'happened' to me. None of it has ever been my choice. Why should that stop just because the war ended?"

"That's precisely why. You want to feel nothing... Tell me: do you ever feel happy? Do you feel happy in your shop?"

Harry smiled whimsically. "Yeah. Only there. And here, now. With you."

Severus let out a sarcastic bark of laughter. "You were just screaming at me."

Harry chuckled. "Must be habit, from being in this classroom. I guess some things never change."

The two laughed together easily for a short moment. Harry felt himself relax.

"Well, I guess some things do change. You and Hermione are best mates now, eh?"

"Yes, well, my godson stole away her one other friend."

"Ouch! Laying the guilt on thick..." Severus raised his eyebrow and pursed his lips. "It used to make me jealous. Hermione spent more time with you than I did there in the end. I'm sure by now she knows you better than I ever did."

"And Draco knows you better."

"No. He doesn't. Not really." Harry smirked and added in mock contemplation, "Maybe if we snogged more..."

Severus pushed against Harry's chest as if he were offended. He chuckled. Harry captured his hand and held it there against him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Feeling Severus's cool skin against him, his natural scent filling his nostrils... it felt like he was home again for the first time. He was finally beginning to feel okay without the man in his life, just for the cessation of longing to be undone in one interaction.

Severus soothed his thumb over his chest the way he used to at the safehouse.

"Tell me, Harry. Where were you going that evening looking so handsome?" Severus stepped closer, his hand still on his chest. He stood between Harry's knees. "I enjoyed seeing you. Thank you for sending me that image."

Harry loosened his grip on the other man's hand.

"My engagement party, apparently. I didn't know that at the time."

"I hope you see how absurd that is."

"Yeah. I do."

The worry in Severus's eyes was plain. The man had lost his skill in hiding his emotions.

"I don't mean to pressure you. I want this to be your choice. Whoever you choose, it is only important that it is actually _your_ choice."

"I think our hour is up."

Severus looked down at their bodies, entwined around one another, his hand still over Harry's pounding heart. "So it is. May I escort you back to the floo?"

Harry nodded and stood.

The two walked in tense silence. The silence felt loud. He looked over to the professor, his silhouette harsh against the candle lit dungeon corridor. "This is like-"

"Yes, it is."

"Do you still think about those nightly walks we'd take?"

"Yes, I do."

Even as they spoke, Severus stared straight ahead. Their hands brushed and the other man tensed but he didn't pull his hand away.

"Good evening, Professor!" A young girl came into view as they rounded a corner. She smiled at them and walked past. Harry noticed her robes.

"She was a Gryffindor!"

"What tipped you off?" he asked sarcastically.

"But she's in the dungeons. And she wasn't terrified of you!" Harry nudged him with his shoulder teasingly.

"No longer acting as a hateful death eater has done a great deal for ruining my reputation."

"Even Gryffindors like you now."

"Unfortunately it seems that way. That same girl suggested in class just today that a few rumours have circulated regarding myself and Professor Granger."

"That's a disturbing thought."

"Isn't it just." Harry laughed heartily. He saw the amusement on Severus's face even though the man still refused to look at him.

Soon they were at the bottom of the staircase to Albus's office. Finally Severus turned towards him.

"I suppose I will be seeing you this time next week."

"I look forward to it." And Harry meant it, despite the dread he felt at having to face Draco's wrath soon.

Harry wasn't sure what to do now. Shake his hand? Kiss him? He felt nervous and his face burned hot. Before he could quite make a definitive decision, he propelled himself forward and wrapped his arms around the taller man. He nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck. Harry knew he was squeezing too hard but he didn't care. Finally he felt Severus relax his body just enough to rest his hands on Harry's waist. Harry held on a moment longer before releasing other man. He then turned quickly and sprinted up the stairs to the headmaster's office.

Albus looked up as he entered. He smiled and looked at Harry over his half-moon spectacles.

"Given that look on your face I'd say your evening was pleasant?"

"What look?"

"Like you've just won the house cup."

Harry laughed, "100 points to Slytherin." He stepped into the floo. "Number 12 Grimmauld Place."

* * *

"Just give it up already, Harry." Remus said as Harry stepped into the sitting room.

"Honestly," Sirius seconded.

"What am I giving up, exactly?"

"Might as well end things cleanly with Draco now rather than putting all three of you through this whole courting process, dancing around in limbo for the next month."

Remus pulled his feet up onto the sofa and began tying his shoes.

"How are you so sure I'll not marry Draco?"

"I've never seen Draco make you smile the way you are right now."

"Exactly," Remus grinned. "So how did it go? Tell us what happened."

"We argued, mostly." Harry chuckled and shook his head. Remus stood and pulled on his jacket. "Hey, where are you headed so late?"

"He's got a date," Sirius said, sounding bored.

"With Tonks," Remus added, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Wow, Good luck!"

"Thank you. If a good evening with her makes me half as happy as an argument with Severus makes you, I'll call it a success."

Remus left and Harry excused himself to his old bedroom. He'd just changed into lounge pants when a knock sounded on the bedroom door.

Draco stepped in. He wore tight leather trousers, and a white top with all of the top buttons undone, exposing his flawless skin and few blond chest hairs. His hair was slicked back and tucked behind one ear. Draco closed the door behind him and leaned against it, crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at Harry.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Enjoy yourself with my godfather?" Draco made a sound as if he were about to retch. "God, do you hear how disgusting that sounds?"

Harry shrugged. "Going out?"

"On my way to a club in London."

"Sounds like a fun night, I hope you have a good time."

"Doesn't that make you jealous at all?"

Harry took a moment to really mull the question over before answering honestly, "Not really, no."

Draco stomped his foot like a petulant toddler. "You don't love me at all!"

"I do, Draco. I do love you, just not in the way you want me to. I've never said anything to make you believe otherwise, have I?"

Draco stepped forward, closing the space between them. His eyelids dropped seductively over his blue eyes as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Harry's neck. Harry stilled. Draco pressed another kiss against his jaw then moved his attentions to Harry's earlobe, nibbling and sucking at it.

"I could make you love me," he whispered. "I could do unimaginable things to your body if you'd just let me."

Harry shivered, feeling intensely uncomfortable.

"We have an arrangement," Harry reminded him gently.

"I think it's time to change it," Draco said coolly as he pulled away. "I have ideas for our wedding night."

 _If there is one_ , Harry thought.

"I'm not worried about your little play time with Sev. You'll come running back to me once you see the real Severus Snape."

"I know the real Severus..."

"Oh? Have you seen the grotesque scars covering his body?"

"You mean the ones he acquired risking his life to save me, and you, a time or two?"

"So you've seen them. You know he isn't allowed to touch you until the courtship ends, right?"

Harry shook his head gently and swallowed hard. "No, I haven't seen them but they won't bother me if I ever do."

"If his scars don't scare you, the tangled mess inside your head will scare him. Do you think anyone could accept you the way I do? You're a disaster! The screaming nightmares, the panic attacks... you're a twenty-year-old virgin who hides away in your little shop all day. Who do you think that appeals to?"

"Stop."

"Those love letters from adoring fans come every day but they'd all be repulsed if they ever saw the real Harry Potter."

"Stop!" Harry screamed. He felt his magic begin to fizzle along his skin, itching to burst out. _Addiction to Unforgiveables in times of stress_ A therapist had once told him.

Sirius slammed the door open, letting it bounce hard against the wall.

"Time to go, Malfoy."

Draco rounded on Sirius. "You need to get him away from this bullshit with my godfather. Look how unstable he is! He needs to come home. I know how to keep him calm."

"Yeah, yeah. Get the fuck out."

Draco growled but he walked past Sirius and left.

"Deep breath, Harry." Sirius stepped towards him slowly, as one would approach a bear.

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose and counted to five. He released the breath through his mouth and counted to seven.

Sirius helped Harry to sit on his bed. He knelt on one knee and gently untied Harry's boots and pulled them from his feet. He laid Harry onto his side and pulled the duvet up over his shaking form and tucked it around him tightly, like swaddling a baby.

"Get some rest, Harry."

His godfather slipped from the room. Harry pulled his wrist to his chest and held the bracelet close to his heart, allowing the calming spell to spread through his body. The shivering soon ended and Harry felt the warmth of a dreamless sleep emanate from the bracelet next.

Maybe Draco was right. Severus had taken care of him his whole life, even now. Severus deserved to know what he was getting himself into.

Harry was a mess.


	29. Chapter 29

Severus might not be as unpopular around Hogwarts as he'd once been, but other things remained utterly unchanged. Such as his complete dread for the second Saturday of each month when the faculty gathered to eat breakfast together and discuss school and student matters.

He and Hermione were the first to arrive and chatted amiably.

"Were there any control charms on Harry?"

"None."

"That's unfortunate." He raised an eyebrow in question. "It would have been an easy fix. Remove the charm, Harry leaves Draco of his own accord. Voila, Malfoy Problem is solved."

"I suppose that would have made things rather simple."

"Have faith." She took a croissant from the center of the table and handed it to him as she took an apple pastry for herself. She then poured Severus a cup of coffee and added just a bit of cream. Hermione did know him very well. They'd been working closely together since her last year as a student. He valued her immensely.

"Do you honestly believe I have any chance?"

Hermione didn't have the opporunity to answer as other staff members began to fill the room and take their seats.

"You're the talk of the school, Severus." Minerva purred teasingly.

"I am incredibly aware."

"Well it isn't every day their potions master courts a celebrity."

"A celebrity? We attended school with most of the older students." Hermione protested.

Minerva took a sip of tea and nodded. "I suppose, with the war having ended, the students have found new things to talk about."

"No, gossip has always been a source of entertainment, even during the war." Neville said. He and Albus eyed Severus identically.

Severus turned his attention back to his coffee. He remembered the gossip well.

"I'm sure you have the entire wizarding world talking," Albus told him. Severus sensed a cryptic deeper meaning in his words but ignored it.

"They can say whatever they wish. For once I am doing something for myself and not for any greater purpose."

"I planned to speak to you later about this," Albus began. He hummed around his last bite of pastry then sighed. "I worry about how this might be viewed by current students and parents alike. Harry only recently left school."

"Two years ago!" Hermione shrilled. "Neville and I are employed here. We are adults!"

"I'm aware," Albus said kindly. "I only worry about where the minds of others might go."

"Indeed!" Minerva agreed. "If it were not for my interference, Severus might have lost his teaching career while Harry was still a student!"

Severus nearly spewed his coffee across the table.

"If it weren't for your interference, Harry might not be in the predicament he now finds himself in."

Hermione placed her hand over Severus's.

"Tell me, Severus Snape, what predicament is that?"

He looked to Hermione. She shook her head vehemently.

"Forget it," Hermione insisted.

"It's of no consequence," Severus conceded. "Just know that I behaved appropriately while he was a student."

"The prophecy itself said your love is what would protect him. It was easy to say it was not of a romantic nature, given your guardianship relationship with him... but now? People will have concerns, Severus!"

"I've grown weary of my private life being under constant scrutiny. If my courtship is successful, I will spend the rest of my life with Harry. If any of you believe that to be an issue for this institution, I have no qualms with forfeiting my tenure."

"We want you to be happy," Pomona said sweetly. "I see no problem here."

"Right she is!" Hagrid boomed. "If'n anyone takes offense at you 'n 'Arry findin' love 'n whatnot, I'll tell 'em right off, I will!" He winked at Pomona who blushed.

Neville fidgeted and adjusted himself in his seat looking uncomfortable.

"Let's move on, shall we?" Albus looked around the table.

The rest of the meeting was uneventful. Severus returned to his rooms before morning classes. The daily post awaited him on his table. His eyes were immediately drawn to the envelope addressed to him in curvy effeminate handwriting.

_Severus,_

_I am utterly outraged. I have attempted to withhold my thoughts but I find that I can no longer remain silent. As the godfather of my son, I am stunned that you would attempt to tear his happiness away from him. He has worked hard to build a life with Harry just for you to weasel yourself into his relationship. You are no longer considered a friend of the Malfoy family._

_Narcissa Malfoy_

Severus ignited the letter with a flick of his wand and watched it turn to a pile of ash on his table.

He felt no loss.

He was completely willing to lose his position at Hogwarts, his friendships, his business, all of his material possessions.

He wanted Harry. He wanted to make Harry happy. Nothing else beyond that mattered.

He'd lost Harry once. He didn't intend to lose him again, regardless of what it cost him.

"Accio parchment and quill."

_Harry,_

_I look forward to our next meeting this Friday. I will arrive at 0700. Feel free to dress casually._

_Yours always,_

_Severus Snape_

* * *

Severus stepped through the floo. Before his eyes could adjust after the flare of green flame, Sirius grabbed Severus roughly by the forearm and pulled him into the kitchen. He shut the door quietly.

"He's not gotten out of bed since your last meeting. He's not opened his shop. Nothing."

The worry in Sirius's dark eyes was nauseating.

Severus had sensed some panic through the bracelet the prior week but nothing since then.

"What happened?"

Sirius's eyes narrowed angrily. "Fucking Malfoy."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"I'm not sure what he said to Harry, but whatever it was really got to him."

"An inherited trait. The Malfoys have a talent for being cruel."

"I remember well." The man shuddered.

"Has he returned since then?"

"No, but I can't exactly keep him out unless Harry says otherwise. They're still technically engaged, after all."

"Sirius!" Harry screamed from his room. Severus's heart began to race.

"Stay here," Sirius commanded. He did as he was told, but his curiosity was intense. He pressed his ear to the wall between the kitchen and Harry's room to listen.

_"I don't know what to wear and he's already here."_

_"Harry, you look handsome no matter what you wear."_

He heard Harry groan.

_"He loves you, Harry. I'm sure you couldn't frighten him away even if you went out there in your loungewear and hair uncombed."_

Severus sighed. Didn't Harry know how lucky Severus felt just to be in his presence? He didn't care what Harry wore.

_"I need to tell him tonight and I just... if he is going to hear about all of this, everything else needs to be perfect. Am I making any sense?"_

Severus heard Harry's bed creak followed by the sound of his wardrobe being opened.

_"He's been through war, too. He knows all about the various scars that comes from that. He's very aware of what you've been through."_

_"Exactly! He has enough of his own, why should he want to deal with mine?"_

_"You look at me now, Harry James. Put this on. Go out there, go on your date. Be honest with him. What's the worst that can happen?"_

There was a long silence.

Severus backed away from the wall. He felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs.

"Hi, Severus." Harry stepped into the kitchen. He'd forgone his muggle clothing and wore a sensible black wizarding robe. Sirius was correct. Harry was handsome in anything he wore. He'd still not shaved. His beard was a bit thicker. But his eyes were as green as ever.

Harry smiled at him as if he hadn't just been panicking in the other room.

"Good evening, Harry. You look lovely."

Harry smiled brilliantly.

Severus would do anything to never let that smile fade.


	30. Chapter 30

Harry was given the option of dinner at a restaurant or dinner in Severus's rooms at Hogwarts. The news of their courtship had spread quickly through the wizarding world and neither of the men felt too keen on fighting prying eyes that evening.

And, honestly, Harry would have chosen Severus's kitchen over a public restaurant any day, regardless.

Harry eyed the room. He made himself comfortable in the armchair to the left of the settee. He traced his fingers over the nailhead trim. The metal was cool to the touch, mirroring the cool dungeon air.

"Is this still Hermione's favorite chair?"

Severus smiled, "Yes, it is. We have tea here every Saturday."

"Is Ron ever here?"

Severus looked at him confused. "No, she has tea here Saturdays because that's Ronald's day to do paperwork at the office."

Harry felt embarrassed, and a bit sad, if he was honest. "Oh... I, er... don't keep up with their schedules the way I used to."

As if sensing Harry's discomfort, Severus changed the subject easily. "Don't get too comfortable. I need your help in the kitchen."

"You do?"

"We're making pasta."

Harry stood from Hermione's chair and joined Severus in the kitchen.

Severus rolled up his sleeves and began working on preparing the chicken. Harry started boiling the noodles then turned his attention to the sauce.

"Reliving our safehouse days," Harry mused.

Severus chuckled. "Precisely."

Harry watched Severus as he plated their food, then placed the dirty cooking utensils into the sink. He moved gracefully and confidently. The man's calm, quiet demeanor still brought Harry a sense of peace. He didn't want this moment to end. But he knew it had to. He knew they needed to talk.

"Severus."

The man turned on the warm water. "Hm?"

"I.. er..."

Severus poured soap into the sink. "What is it?" He asked distractedly over his shoulder.

"Severus. Look at me!" Harry was beginning to feel panicked. He didn't want to tell Severus these things, but it was now or never.

He dried his hands and slowly turned to face Harry. He tucked a long strand of black lank hair behind his ear. "I'm here, Harry," he said quietly.

"I'm broken."

"No, you're not. You're perfect."

"I have night terrors. I scream and cry in my sleep." Harry's heart raced. He could hear his pulse in his ears.

"I know. We shared a wall for months, remember? And I've felt your fear through the bangles before."

Harry nodded. "Yeah. But they're worse. They've been getting worse."

Severus took a tentative step forward. "I can brew anything you need."

"I had to stop taking the dreamless sleep." Harry looked into Severus's face, ready to gauge his reaction. "I took it every night."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "You can take it for a week but then a two day break, and you commence after-"

"I took it for a year. Every night."

"Harry! You-"

"I know." Harry swallowed hard. "I know. It doesn't work anymore."

"I can brew you a different variety, I can-"

"Severus, I'm not looking for you to solve this. I'm trying to tell you what life with me will be like." Severus nodded. "The smallest thing can cause me to panic. I radiate magic, ready to explode. Or I become catatonic..."

"I see," Severus said simply. His face remained blank. Completely impossible to read.

"If you'd like to end the courtship now, I understand. I can go home and we can forget about all of this."

"This has only intensified my desire to be with you."

"What?" Harry certainly hadn't expected that.

"You felt you could be honest with me. You opened up to me about your vulnerability. That demonstrates a couple of things: your bravery in being honest and that you still trust me. Why wouldn't I desire that in a partner?"

Harry continued, "These... issues... are why I let Draco take the reigns. I feel stress so keenly and it causes me to breakdown."

"You don't have to explain yourself, Harry."

"Has this really not frightened you away?"

Severus took another step forward and took Harry's hands into his own. "I promise that you have not frightened me away. Of anyone, I'd like to think that I can best understand. I have night terrors of my own. They're not as frequent as they'd once been, but they still happen occasionally. I've seen, and done, horrific things. I live with the memories of war every day."

"How do you manage?"

Severus took a deep, contemplative breath and squeezed Harry's hands a bit tighter. "I try to live one day at a time, but also be optimistic about the future."

"What do you hope for your future?"

Severus lifted Harry's hands and kissed the backs of his knuckles. "This. I hope for this."

Harry looked up in surprise. He wanted badly to kiss Severus in this moment. He wanted the older man to hold him like he would never let go. He wanted to kiss those lips and express his feelings in hushed tones. He wanted to let his Occlumency shields fall and let Severus in.

They sat together at the table and ate. Harry'd never actually been on a date before so he didn't have much for comparison, but he was pretty sure it was perfect. Severus and Harry spoke about their respective businesses, about future ideas for expansion, about the absurdity of dealing with buyers. They laughed, they grumbled.

Severus leaned over Harry and poured him another glass of Sauvignon blanc.

"A far cry from drinking whisky right from the bottle."

"Should we change drinks? I rather miss seeing you pissed out of your mind. It was cute." Severus grinned. His eyes all but sparkled.

"Did Severus Snape just say cute?"

"I blame the wine."

Harry laughed. He sat back in his chair and sighed, still staring into Severus's black eyes.

"What are you thinking, Mr Potter?"

"About our first kiss."

"You might be drunk."

"Our only kiss, really. Do you ever think about it?"

"Likely more often than is healthy."

"Me, too. Why'd you never take your bangle off?"

"I don't have an answer for you. You never removed yours either."

Harry leaned forward and began to trace his finger over Severus's hand. His hands were visibly strong. His long fingers and well manicured nails were attractive. He traced the skin up into Severus's sleeve and along the bangle. Severus's breath hitched. Harry's heart skipped, realizing how his simple touches could affect the man sat across from him.

Harry retracted his hand and took another long drink of his wine.

"Thank you for dinner, but I think our time is up."

Severus stood. He helped Harry from his seat.

It must have been the alcohol thrumming through his veins that made Harry feel so brave.

Harry stepped close to Severus. Their chests nearly touching. Harry lifted his hand and placed it tenderly to his cheek. Severus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Why haven't you kissed me yet?"

Severus turned his head just enough to kiss the palm of Harry's hand before pulling it away. He continued to hold Harry's hand even as it fell to his side.

"These courtship proceedings do not allow me to initiate such contact."

"I thought maybe Draco was lying about that."

"What else did Draco tell you?"

Harry hesitated. He shouldn't have said anything.

"Just that he didn't think you'd like what an emotional mess I am."

Severus rolled his eyes. "He doesn't know me well at all, then. I don't see you as a mess, Harry. I'm here whenever you need me. Even if... If you don't choose me, I shall still be there for you if you ever call upon me."

Harry's mind swirled in confusion that night when he laid down. He folded his hands behind his head and stared up at the darkened ceiling. Draco wasn't exactly always kind, but Severus hadn't always been perfectly kind either. And he felt a physical magnetism to Severus that he didn't feel towards Draco, but Draco had never left his side. He never wavered. Severus abandoned him when he was at his most vulnerable. But, Severus had a reason for that...

And Severus could likely deal easily with Harry's issues, but Draco kept him calm enough to rarely have the outbursts in the first place.

But when he closed his eyes for sleep to take him, it was only one man he saw in his dreams.


	31. Chapter 31

"Alright," Severus said. "Are you ready?"

Harry smiled at him and agreed.

"We're going to a restaurant in muggle London. With any luck, we will be incognito enough to enjoy ourselves."

"Sounds perfect."

Harry pulled on his black coat and took Severus's hand. Severus activated the portkey and they were pulled through into a dark alley. It was a cloudy night, leaving the moon mostly covered.

They walked the short distance to the steakhouse. The air was crisp. The sidewalks were wet, reflecting the lights from the traffic signals and glowing store signs. Severus couldn't help but feel excitement each time Harry looked up at him and smiled as they walked in sync.

Despite everything Harry had been through, he still demonstrated innocent joy at the smallest of things. Harry stomped a bit too hard into a puddle and giggled when it splattered over Severus's trousers. Severus looked at him in mock annoyance but winked at Harry when the young man flicked his finger covertly to dry the water droplets on his clothing.

There was a short queue at the door. Women in dresses, men in casual suits. Severus navigated the two of them easily to the front of the line.

"My husband and I have a reservation," Severus told the host behind the wooden podium. "Robert Johnson."

The plump, ginger man smiled kindly and scanned his eyes over the list before him.

"Ah! Here we are. Right this way, Mr Johnson."

Harry slipped his hand into Severus's as they followed the host to the back of the restaurant. Severus pulled a chair out for Harry to take his seat.

"Thank you, _dear husband_ ," Harry teased.

Severus sat across from Harry. "We're nobodies in the muggle world, we can be whoever we want to be."

"You can be anyone here and yet you only choose to be my husband."

Severus thought about those words momentarily before responding with a simple, "Yes."

The restaurant was dark, only lit by dim overhead bulbs and candles flickering atop each table. Not a single person around them paid them any mind. It felt nice to be just a normal human, if only for the night.

The small flame between them reflected on the lenses of Harry's glasses.

Harry'd always been beautiful, but he was especially so right now as he sipped at his wine. His cheeks were tinted pink with the beginning of inebriation. He set his glass of wine down then flicked his tongue out over his lips.

Severus adjusted himself in his seat. Watching Harry enjoying himself silently was causing something deep in his gut to stir. His cock twitched.

The waiter took away their dinner plates and replaced them with two portions of creme brûlée.

Harry hummed happily as he sucked every morsel from the spoon. He stared deep into Severus's eyes as he swallowed back his first bite.

"Thank you for dinner." Harry licked his lips again and dug his spoon in for another bite. Severus was mesmerized by Harry's every movement. Time felt like it was moving slowly.

Severus's lips part, he wanted to speak but the only things he could think to say were things he wasn't ready to say quite yet.

All he knew was that his entire life was sat in the chair opposite him.

When they stepped out of the restaurant the air was noticeably colder. Wind whipped around them. Harry shivered. Severus pulled one side of his long coat away from his body. He tucked Harry in close to his side and wrapped his jacket around him. Harry smiled at him gratefully.

He stopped Severus and turned towards him. Severus wrapped both sides around Harry's back and held him close.

Harry stared up at him. "I'm not ready for tonight to end."

"Nor am I," Severus admitted easily. "Do you have anything in mind?"

Harry worried his lip. He looked away and scanned his eyes up and down the street. "I don't know."

The wind howled, blowing cool moist air into their faces. Severus pulled Harry to him tighter. Harry wrapped his arms around him and laid his head against Severus's shoulder.

"Let us head back to Grimmauld. I could use some coffee."

Severus pulled them into the alley and they portkeyed back to Sirius's home.

They both landed gracefully and walked up the steps and into number 12 Grimmauld.

Remus and Tonks were wrapped around one another on the sofa, kissing, giggling, and whispering. Remus looked up in surprise.

Harry grinned and nodded to him. "Hi, Tonks. Hi, Remus. We will, er, be out of your way." He took his hand and pulled him into the dark kitchen.

Harry pointed his finger to the overhead lights and they came to life.

"You're talented with wordless and wandless magic," Severus commented.

"Thanks. I, er, practice whenever Draco is away. He's not fond of it."

"Why wouldn't he like it? It's incredible to watch."

Harry shrugged. "My magic isn't always controllable. I suppose it scares him."

As if on cue the kitchen door swung open. "I've seen you about blow yourself up enough times to dislike you practicing with that wild magic." Draco folded his arms over his chest.

"Do you two discuss me the entire time you're on your little dates? How sad."

"Don't flatter yourself," Severus heard himself say before he could stop himself.

"Excuse my intrusion, _Uncle_. I have matters to discuss with my fiance." The blond turned to Harry. "We have to place our order with the florist in the morning. I came to get your opinion for centrepieces."

"We both know what you're doing."

Draco grinned innocently. "I don't know what you mean, love."

"You don't care about my opinion. Hell, you even planned our engagement party without me. You're just here to be a brat."

"A brat," Draco repeated, still grinning.

"It's alright," Severus told Harry quietly. "I can go."

Harry grabbed Severus's hand. "No. Please stay. Our date isn't over."

Draco's jaw dropped and his eyes widened as his gaze fell to Harry's hand on Severus's.

He snapped his mouth closed, his eyes narrowed angrily. "I'm not a fool. I can admit a losing fight. Harry, tell me now. Do you plan to marry me?"

Severus's heart pounded. He, too, was eager to hear Harry's answer, although they still had three dates and two weeks left of the courtship.

"I can't answer that yet."

"I'll leave you two to it, then." Draco turned on his heel dramatically.

Once he was gone, Harry collapsed into a kitchen chair and rubbed his hands over his face. He lifted his hand and two coffee cups floated from the cupboard and landed in front of him. He snapped his fingers and the cups filled with tea.

Severus stood still. Harry's demonstrations of his command over this wild magic never ceased to impress him.

"I'm sorry, Severus."

"You have nothing to apologize for." Severus pulled out the chair next to Harry's and sat.

"Dinner was fantastic." Harry looked at Severus and smiled sadly. "You look so handsome tonight."

"I was just thinking the same of you."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"I always think of how handsome you are when I look at you." And Severus wasn't lying. Harry was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid his eyes on.

Harry lifted his hand to cup Severus's face. He leaned forward. Severus's breath and heartbeat both quickened. Harry's warm breath grazed Severus's lips as he inched closer. Severus dug his fingertips into Harry's thighs to steady himself.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Harry requested gently.

Severus couldn't stop the words from tumbling from his mouth. "I love you."

Harry's lips clashed against Severus's own with fervor. Harry's lips part and Severus took the opportunity to flick his tongue against the other man's. The kiss deepened effortlessly. Without thinking, Severus moved his hands to Harry's arse and pulled the younger man from his chair and into his lap.

Harry pulled away just far enough to catch his breath. "Tell me again."

"I love you, Harry." Severus said it as if it were the only thing in his life he'd ever been sure of.

Harry's breath came in ragged huffs.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Always have been."

Harry attacked his mouth again. He kissed Severus as if his lips were Harry's only source of oxygen.

The room around them melted away. He had Harry in his arms. It was all that he had desired for years. Now that he had it, he swore to himself he wouldn't lose it.

He pulled Harry closer, held him tighter.

Harry placed his forehead against Severus's.

They both struggled to catch their breaths.

"Do you remember," Severus began, his breathing still unsteady. "Your dreams when you were unconscious?"

Harry nodded. "Yes."

"You told me to find you."

"Mm."

"I've finally found you."

Harry wrapped his arms around his neck. "Don't let me go."

He placed another gentle kiss to his lips.

* * *

"You look chipper this morning," Hermione teased as Severus took his seat by her at the staff table the next morning. She pushed Severus's tea towards him. Severus inclined his head in thanks.

"I'm feeling optimistic this morning."

Minerva's shoes clicked as she approached the table, the sound reverberated against the tall ceilings of the still student-less room. She tossed the daily newspaper in front of Severus and Hermione.

She clucked her tongue. "This is exactly what I was expressing concern about!"

Severus lifted the paper to eye-level. Hermione gasped.

**Former Student Says Severus Snape Seduced Harry Potter While Still at Hogwarts!**

"An 'anonymous source'," Hermione quoted aloud.

"Draco," Severus growled beneath his breath.

"Fix this!" Minerva demanded. "Now!"


	32. Chapter 32

_The Man Who Lived is being courted by Severus Snape, who our anonymous source says began his seduction well before Potter's matriculation. The truth behind this accusation has not been proven. However, it has been noted by locals that Potter has not opened his bookshop, Emerald Books in Hogsmeade, since it was announced he was being courted officially by Severus Snape, Death Eater turned professor and spy for The Order of the Phoenix. This has caused worry in many of the locals and former classmates who fear he is being manipulated and effectively held captive by his suitor. Some have speculated this might be a purposeful slight against Snape's former friends, the Malfoys. We will share more to this story as we learn of new information._

Sirius laughed as he threw the paper down. "These are just absurd rumours. Let them talk. Let them 'speculate.' Soon enough they'll get tired of talking about this, they'll see you are fine and well, and everyone will forget about this nonsense."

"This was all Draco. He's angry and going after Severus. He's going to ruin him."

Sirius snorted. "No, he won't. They're a powerful family but not as much so these days. Let this all die down. Don't lower yourself to the level of even responding to this rubbish."

Harry sighed and flopped onto the sofa with Sirius. "You're right. I know you're right. I just hate that Draco's problems with me could cost Severus everything."

Sirius patted Harry's shoulder. "He knew what he was doing when he sent that courtship proposal. Nothing can compare to what he went through as a spy during the war. I'm sure Severus is just fine."

"I need to stop this before it goes any further."

"If this hasn't answered your little quandary of who to choose, I don't know what will."

* * *

Harry pushed open the door to his flat above his shop. The door was cracked open. Harry stepped in and looked around. It was completely empty. Draco had taken his things and left.

He strode across the room and into the fireplace.

Lucius, Narcissa, and Draco seemed to be mid-argument as Harry stepped through to Malfoy Manor.

Draco huffed. His nostrils were flared and alabaster skin tinted red.

Lucius scowled at Harry.

"What do you want?" Narcissa hissed.

Harry ignored them. He grabbed Draco's wrist and pulled him into the library. He drew a circle over his head with his pointer finger, warding the room.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I hate when you do that."

"Why? Does it make you uncomfortable to see how powerful I am?"

Draco shifted his weight to his other foot.

"I scare you, don't I? You just want to control me. Do you even really want to be with me?"

"I did at one point."

"Why couldn't you just admit you didn't want to be with me anymore? Why go through all this?"

"You terrify me, alright?!" Draco screamed, seeming frantic. "You can just.. blink your damn eyes and you make things happen! It's too much... too much like _him_."

"Who? Voldemort?"

Draco shuddered at the name. "Yes!"

"I'm powerful. He was powerful. The similarities end there."

"Except when you get upset! You look like you could bloody explode! It's why I try to keep you from this wild magic, I feel like you'll blast me to pieces!"

Harry's anger began to dissipate. He wasn't sure anyone had ever been afraid of him before. He didn't want to be feared. He stepped closer to Draco, but Draco took a long stride away from him.

"Why'd you ask me to marry you? If I scare you so much, you could have just left."

"I did. I'm assuming you saw the flat?"

"But why hold on so long?"

"Father made me. He told me to marry you. He wasn't happy when I came back here with boxes of my things."

"Your father? Sure. Blame it all on him. He make you go to the paper too? Tell you to smear Severus's name?"

"Yeah, actually. He did."

"What do you want? What does _he_ want?"

Draco pulled his lips into a thin line and looked away.

"You used to care about Severus."

"I used to care about you, too. I still do, really."

"I want to believe that."

And Harry did. He did want to believe it. Draco had grown through the war. He wanted to do what was right. He'd opened up to Harry and his friends. He'd formed a real bond with McGonagall. He'd shunned the dark. But somewhere along the way, Draco had grown cold and distant again.

Draco ran his hand through his hair. He began to pace in front of the unlit fireplace.

"You don't understand what it's like to come from a very old, powerful family. You didn't have the upbringing I did. I do as my family tells me. You saw what happened the last time I didn't obey. I was excommunicated."

"But your father saw how wrong that was. He changed sides because of you."

Draco let out a sardonic huff of laughter. "That was for show. He doesn't care about sides or doing what is right. He just wants to win." Draco eyed Harry nervously, seemingly thinking of whether he should say the words on his tongue. "My parents are in debt. Voldemort and his 'cause' took everything they had. They're barely maintaining the Manor."

Harry was confused, but he nodded as if he understood. Draco continued, "If I married you..."

"They're after my money."

"Yeah. And Sev trying to take you from me made them feel foolish. They didn't want him interfering in their... finances, as it were."

Harry's stomach flipped. He felt as if he'd be sick. His relationship with Draco hadn't been traditional in any sense, but at least it felt somewhat real. But it had been fake all along.

"In the beginning, I felt guilty. I love you, I do. When I saw that you'd never feel for me the way I felt for you, I'd have been fine to part ways but they wouldn't let me. I couldn't just let them lose everything."

"Even if it meant destroying me. And Severus."

"When I saw the two of you together that night... I knew it was over. I packed my things that evening."

Harry slammed open the door to the library. Lucius's head snapped up, his icy glare unchanged.

"Name your price."

He laughed. "Price? For what?"

"Do not play coy. I will pay off your debts and give you enough to begin rebuilding your status. Just tell me how much."

"I'm trusting this isn't out of the kindness of your little saviour heart."

"No. It isn't. Draco will recant everything he told the paper. Say he was jealous or whatever he has to say. Then your family will leave Severus and I alone forever. I don't even want your family name mentioned to me for as long as I live."

Harry gave the family access to as much as they needed. It still didn't put a dent in what he had in his vault. Before leaving, Draco finally approached him again. He seemed more at ease than he had in quite some time.

"For what it's worth, Harry-"

"-nothing out of your mouth is worth anything. Save it."

Harry stepped back through the floo without feeling a single iota of regret or bitterness.

It was over. It was finally over.

* * *


	33. Chapter 33

By the end of the week the news had spread that Draco Malfoy fabricated the story about Severus seducing Harry as a student.

"What did you do to make him recant?" Hermione asked in a whisper.

"Nothing. I don't know what happened."

"Harry must have said something to him."

He knew it must have taken a great deal to make a Malfoy eat his pride. Whatever it was, Severus was grateful, and impressed.

He received no apology from Minerva or Albus, but their approving looks were enough to set things right.

* * *

Severus sat at his desk the following evening as his last class of seventh year Ravenclaws and Slytherins began to file out of the room. He reached for a stack of essays and tried to mentally prepare himself for the rubbish he would be marking for the next hour or so.

A shadow fell over his desk and he looked up. A seventh year Slytherin stood before him. Basil Jarvis was the new star of the Slytherin quidditch team since Draco had left school. His dark brown hair fell in short waves. He brushed a strand out of his face and chewed his lip.

"What can I do for you this evening, Mr Jarvis?"

"I haven't finished my potion from class, sir. I got rather confused and was wondering if you could help." He flashed a perfect smile at Severus. He stood up slowly and followed Jarvis to the back corner of the classroom. As he'd said, his potion was held in stasis, only a couple of steps from being finished.

"What's the confusion?"

"I followed the instructions, but it's not the right colour."

Severus peered into the cauldron. Jarvis was right. It was a sickly green, when it ought to be orange in colour.

Jarvis was usually one of his star pupils, it wasn't like him to make mistakes. But the students were only a couple of months from summer holidays and were likely excitable and not paying as much attention to their work.

"Walk me through what you've done so far."

Jarvis stepped closer with his parchment in hand and read out his notes.

"Wait, you stirred counter clockwise?"

"Yes, sir."

"Didn't you watch my example in the beginning of class? It's not a stir, really. This potion requires a certain... finesse. It's half of a turn, across, counterclockwise, across, then back the other way."

Jarvis gave him a blank stare. Severus took a clean ladle from the desk and demonstrated in the air.

"Okay, I've got it."

Jarvis stood next to Severus, their arms touching only slightly.

"No, no. Watch." Severus took the ladle and demonstrated again.

"Got it!" Jarvis reached out to take the ladle back, he clasped his hans over Severus's. Severus looked at him in shock. "Show me again." Severus nodded dumbly and began to guide the student's hand. Jarvis moved closer. Their sides now firmly pressed together.

Severus was too stunned to move. He wasn't sure Jarvis had any ill intent and didn't want to make it into an issue if it was not one.

The potion began to turn the correct colour.

"There we are." Severus pulled the utensil from the cauldron and set it aside. As he turned back to Jarvis, the young man wrapped his hands behind his neck and pulled Severus to him forcefully. His fingertips dug into his skin. His lips were on Severus's.

He heard the door to the room swing open, "Severus!" Came Hermione's voice. "I was wondering if-" Hermione gasped and the door slammed closed.

This all happened quickly. Severus pushed Jarvis away with such force the young man landed on his arse. But he recovered quickly and stood chest to chest with him once more.

"What's the problem?" He purred through a sly smile. "I know you've been with students in the past."

"That is an outright falsehood!"

"I've been told I'm more handsome than Potter." He ran his fingers teasingly down Severus's arm.

"Not in my eyes."

Jarvis's cocky smile slid from his face and was replaced by a scowl. "It doesn't have to be a relationship. Just a one off. We could help each other..."

"That will never happen. Get out."

Jarvis groaned out of frustration but snatched his bag from the desk and stomped out of the room.

Severus felt frantic. He needed to find Hermione.

His feet carried him to her rooms as quickly as they could.

She pulled the door open slowly. Her face was full of worry.

"Oh, Severus, how could you?"

Severus pushed past her and shut the door behind him. He'd never been in her rooms before. The sitting room was likely an embodiment of her mind. Books of all genres were scattered everywhere in piles of various heights. A scarf draped here, a robe strewn there.

She followed his gaze. "Sorry, wasn't expecting company."

He ignored the comment. "What you saw... is not what it seemed."

"It seemed that you and Basil Jarvis were... were.."

"Yes, well, did it seem that he was assaulting me? Because that is the reality. I did not welcome his advances."

"You need to go to Dumbledore! He needs to face repercussions."

Severus growled. "There have been very recent rumours about me seducing students. I don't think going to Albus is such a splendid idea."

She chewed the inside of her cheek. "You're right. So, what will you do?"

"Nothing. Ignore it. Hopefully I bruised his ego enough to not breath a word of it or try to do it again."

"Missing your old reputation now, eh?"

"Please stop talking."

Hermione suppressed a giggle.

Severus glared at her, "This is serious."

"I think you're safe to ignore it for now."

* * *

Severus walked through the groups of students entering the great hall for dinner. As he pushed his way in through the massive doorway, he felt a hand brush his own.

"Good evening, Professor." He turned to see Jarvis wave and wink at him. Severus glared at him before spinning on his heel in a whirl of robes. He stalked angrily to the head table.

His life was one massively cruel joke.

Hermione Granger was his closest friend.

He was courting his godson's fiance.

His godson's fiance was the famous Harry Potter.

A student had tried to seduce him.

Severus dug his fingers into his arm. Was he dreaming? Had he, too, been injured during the final battle and this was all just a dream as he lay in the infirmary?

He looked around the great hall. Alas, it all felt too real to be in his head.

He sighed and took a long drink of pumpkin juice.

As he ate his dinner Severus began to contemplate whether it was time for him to move on. Leave Hogwarts, move far away, and focus on his business.

Severus didn't get very far into fleshing out the details of his hypothetical future life before the tall doors to the great hall swung open. Severus looked up to see students of all years and houses standing and applauding. They cheered and gasped.

Albus stood at the center of the staff table and stepped off the dais. He opened his arms wide, the smile on his face just as broad.

"Welcome back, Harry."

Harry stepped out of the crowd of students that surrounded him, returning Albus's smile. He stepped into Albus's arms and they embraced one another.

"Sorry I'm late, Headmaster."

"Not at all, dear boy."

Severus looked to his right to ask Hermione what was happening, but she had moved one seat over, leaving an empty one between them.

She grinned at Severus and turned her attention back to Harry who now approached them.

Harry took his seat casually between Hermione and Severus as if he'd done it a hundred times. He beamed at Severus. Severus attempted to pull his facial features back to an impassive look but his shock must have been clearly written across his face.

Harry piled his plate with food then turned back to him and chuckled.

"Surprise?"

"A welcomed one," Severus admitted. "Are you here only for dinner?"

"No, actually." Harry turned his body more towards Severus. His heart rate quickened beneath Harry's gaze. He was sure the majority of students and staff alike were watching them. Still, he couldn't take his eyes away from Harry. Harry's foot touched his ankle under the table and Severus's body stilled. He'd never been so physically close to Harry with an audience before. It was beyond his comfort level, but he allowed it.

"I was hoping we could..." Harry grinned cheekily. "Have some time together this evening."

Severus swallowed hard. His heart and cock leapt in equal measures of hope and nervousness.

He nodded. "Yes. Yes, of course."

"Great!"

Harry turned to Hermione. They began to speak animatedly and Severus focused on finishing his meal.

He was happy Hermione was able to spend this time with her friend. He knew from their weekly chats that she missed Harry terribly since Draco had kept them apart.

He was also inexplicably anxious. Why was Harry here? It wasn't yet time for their next date and they didn't speak between dates since the courtship had begun. His old friend, Paranoia, threatened to kidnap his mind and tell him that something was horribly wrong. But the logical part of his mind eagerly pointed out how keen Harry had just been on him. Touching their legs together beneath the table, leaning into him as he spoke, making eye contact with such intensity... maybe something was incredibly _right_.

Severus finished his last bite and turned to Harry. He looked up at him and winked. His stomach tensed. His skin tingled on his neck and arms where the hairs there stood on end. Severus raised an eyebrow in return. Harry glanced to the staff exit. Severus nodded.

They stood silently. He was vaguely aware of Hermione saying goodbye, but the sounds of the great hall were mostly muted through the sound of his heart pounding. He followed Harry to the exit. He admired him as he strode from the room with confidence.

They walked through the dimly lit corridor away from the great hall. They turned a hard right towards the staircase leading to the dungeons. Neither spoke.

Harry looked over his shoulder to Severus. He smiled.

Severus's heart pounded. Harry paused until Severus was by his side. Harry gently placed his hand into his. He laced their fingers together. Severus looked down at their intertwined hands. His face burned hot. He held Harry's hand a bit tighter than necessary. He only hoped the force he applied conveyed to Harry that he didn't wish for the contact to end- not now or any time soon.

Their footsteps both slowed until finally they were stopped. They both took deep ragged breaths as they turned to look at one another.

Harry licked his lips, that perfect pink tongue teasing him. Severus felt his lips part, urging him to say something, _do_ something. But the courtship forbade him to initiate contact. Harry stepped a hair closer, such a small distance that it was nearly unnoticeable. His mind swirled with questions. What did Harry want? Did he need him to say something? He felt like he'd missed a cue, forgotten a step in a delicate dance.

"I-"

"-yes?"

"Er-"

"-what?"

Harry chuckled shyly and let his gaze fall to the floor.

God, he was beautiful. He scratched at his chin, pushing his fingers between the coarse beard hairs.

"I came to tell you something."

"Anything, Harry. You can tell me anything."

And Severus meant it. He wanted to know everything dancing around in his mind. He wanted to know everything about him. There was nothing too insignificant or mundane.

Suddenly Harry's head jerked up. Before Severus realized what was happening, Harry had closed the small space between them. He placed his hand on his chest and softly pushed him backwards until Severus's back was against the hard rock of the dungeon corridor.

Harry's soft mouth was against his. His tongue pried at his lips until Severus eagerly granted it entrance. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's waist and held him tight, as if afraid he would pull away. Severus knotted his fingers in the curly tendrils at the nape of Harry's neck.

Severus knew he'd never let go. Not this time. Not ever again.

He knew life with Harry, and he knew life without him. One life was sad, pathetic, and lonely, the other meant waking up each day grateful to be alive, feeling unbelievably lucky.

Harry moved his mouth to Severus's jaw line and down his neck. Severus threw his head back and moaned involuntarily. Harry ground his hips against Severus's, allowing each to feel the arousal of the other.

Harry placed one last gentle kiss to Severus's collar. They were both left breathless, fighting for air.

"I love you," Harry whispered.

"Is that... is that what you came here to tell me?"

Harry shook his head, his forehead still resting against the older man's shoulder. "No, but... it couldn't wait to be said any longer."

Harry grabbed at the back of Severus's robes and held him impossibly tighter.

The sound of footsteps echoed as they came closer. The two men disentangled themselves quickly. Harry fought to smooth down his hair, Severus smoothed his robes.

"Oh! There you are- oh, erm, hi, Professor!" Ron looked between them suspiciously, obviously noting the level of disarray they currently found themselves in. Ron blushed and looked away. "Hermione told me you were here tonight. Just er... wanted to say hey. I'll leave you to it. Come find me later, yeah?"

Harry laughed. "I'll see you in a bit, mate."

Ron retreated quickly. Severus looked down at Harry and smiled. He should have felt embarrassed, but he didn't. Harry leaned against him and placed a quick kiss to his upper arm lovingly.

 _I can do this,_ Severus thought triumphantly. He could be the partner Harry deserved.

"Come on," Harry said. "Let's get to your rooms so we can talk


	34. Chapter 34

The distance to Severus's rooms was not far. But it felt like an eternity. They both looked forward and walked in silence. Severus touched his hand to the door, allowing the wards to recognize his magical thumbprint. The door opened. Severus let out a breath and turned towards Harry, holding the door open for him. They slipped into the room. It was dark, only a single candle flickering atop the mantle. Severus stood still, facing Harry. He could see Severus's fingers trembling. This caused Harry's absolute undoing. Severus was so handsome. His strong facial features seemed powerful, his skin was pale but smooth.

"You're so handsome," Harry said in a huff of breath.

"No," Severus said simply.

Harry cradled his face in his hands and leaned into him. He placed a gentle kiss to those thin lips. Severus searched his eyes. Harry didn't know what he was looking for, but he'd give it to him. He'd give Severus anything. That wasn't a new feeling. He'd felt that way for years.

Harry placed a kiss to each cheek before returning to his lips.

The kisses soon deepened. They turned desperate and frantic. Harry pulled at Severus's tall collar. Buttons clinked against the floor but neither man cared. Harry began pushing the robe back from Severus's shoulders, even as his own jumper was being pulled over his head. Severus sucked and bit Harry's neck momentarily before working to pull off Harry's t-shirt. Harry finished pulling Severus's robe down his arms then began pushing at the waist of Severus's trousers.

Severus toed off his boots. Harry followed suit as he unzipped his own trousers.

Harry felt himself being pushed backwards. He allowed Severus to guide them. They continued to kiss, causing Harry's head to spin. His back fell against a door, but the door quickly allowed entrance. Harry then collapsed backwards onto what he assumed was Severus's bed. The older man straddled his hips. He pulled away and looked down at Harry like admiring something rare and beautiful. He felt his face burn beneath Severus's admiring gaze.

"You're perfect." Severus leaned forward and continued kissing Harry's neck, down to his collar bone, and down to graze his sharp teeth over one of Harry's nipples. The sensation shot bolts of pleasure through his entire body. Harry moaned and ground his hips upwards against Severus. He grabbed the hem of Severus's undershirt but the man hissed and grabbed Harry's hand, stopping him from his exploration.

"Please don't."

"I want to see you."

"No... you don't...you don't want to see under my shirt."

Harry took a moment to collect his thoughts, allow his mind to come back to earth.

"I promise I will still want you, despite what I see. You're beautiful. And I have scars of my own."

Severus looked away momentarily. He nodded slowly. "Okay." He reached over his shoulder, grasped his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Even in the dim light, Harry could see the raised scars across Severus's skin. He couldn't tell where one scar ended and the next began. They crossed his entire chest and over his shoulders. Harry reached a tentative hand out and grazed his fingers over the swollen scar tissue. Severus kept his eyes closed even as his breath quickened nervously.

"Are these- are these from that night Voldemort saw into my head? When he saw my thoughts about you?"

Severus's lips part to speak, but no words came.

"Don't lie to me," Harry requested gently.

"Most of them. Yes."

Harry's hand recoiled of its own accord.

"This is my fault?" Harry sat up quickly, forcing Severus from his lap. He moved to sit next to him at the edge of the bed.

"No, of course it isn't."

"It is! I knew you were hurt that night, but I didn't realize how badly. Severus, I... I don't know how I could ever make this right. Tell me what to do. I don't know what to do! My god!" Harry leapt onto his feet. His mind couldn't follow any one single thought. His head was spinning. His heart raced. "I did this to you!"

Severus grabbed his shoulders forcefully.

"No, you didn't! You did not do this."

"It's my fault! He did this because of me! Because of my feelings for you!"

"We didn't know he had access to your mind until this. We'd have lost the war if he hadn't made it known that he could see into your head. It was necessary."

"No... no... oh my god."

"Harry! Breathe! It wasn't your fault!"

Harry's vision became blurry. The furniture in the room began to shake and rattle violently against the stone floor and walls.

"Harry? What are you doing? Harry! Calm down!"

Harry felt his own fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. His entire body felt as if it were on fire. His magic felt uncontrollable. It was about to break through and Harry couldn't stop it. He tried to speak, to warn Severus to move. His magic had never actually broke free before and he was scared of what might happen if it did. He didn't have time to speak his warning.

He felt his head snap backwards. Every muscle in his body tensed. He heard himself scream. Every bit of skin felt immense pain as magic shot from him. He forced his eyes open, even as the rest of his body was immobile. The room glowed an eerie orange.

Harry collapsed into a fetal position as he lost consciousness.

* * *

Harry heard the sound of flames crackling. He opened his eyes slowly. He was on the floor of Severus's bedroom, with his head cradled against Severus's thigh. Severus used his wand to extinguish each of the small fires currently burning his wardrobe, bed, and side tables.

Harry felt weaker than he had in quite a long time.

"Are you alright?" Harry whispered. Severus looked down into Harry's eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair soothingly.

"I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Weak," he choked out. He shivered. He felt so cold. He curled in closer to Severus's still-exposed chest.

"Let's get you to the infirmary."

"No. Please."

"As you wish."

They lie on the floor like that for a long while. Severus rubbed Harry's scalp, his neck, and down across his back. He held him close, making Harry feel safe and relaxed.

Harry drifted to sleep.

His dreams turned to nightmares of Voldemort. _His cruel eyes narrowed as he lift his wand high over his head then brought it down like a whip. "Crucio!" He screamed. Severus fell to his knees before him and cried out in pain. Voldemort raised his wand again, but his wand turned to a Nimbus broom. Voldemort melted away. The scenery became a quidditch pitch._

_Harry was flying, dipping, spinning and diving as he chased the snitch. He laughed ecstatically as he closed his fingers around it. He raised it above his head proudly. Deafening cheers sounded all around him but when he looked to the crowd, only Severus sat there. He applauded Harry's success, a smile stretched across his face._

Harry stretched his legs out and straightened his back. He blinked a few times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He couldn't see much, his glasses had been removed. He lifted his head just a bit. He was in Severus's bed, he'd been in a deep sleep with his head on Severus's shoulder. The other man slept peacefully beside him, his arms wrapped around Harry, his head leaned back against the large pillows.

"Thank you," he said to the sleeping form next to him. He kissed the man's sharp cheekbone before moving to relax once more against him.

Severus took a deep breath, his eyes opened slowly.

"How do you feel?" He asked, his voice gravelly and tired.

Harry smiled. "Better. I'm sorry I burned your furniture."

Severus shrugged. "They're only material possessions. Easily replaced. You, however, are not."

Harry smiled and laid his head back down onto Severus's warm chest.

As soon as his cheek made contact with the scars across Severus's skin, thoughts that were not his own invaded his mind.

_Severus being beaten by Voldemort_

_Severus coming through the floo at Grimmauld_

_Severus kissing a student in the potions classroom._

Harry gasped and pulled away.

"Why would you show me that?"

Severus jerked away. "How did you get inside my head?!"

"You kissed a student?"

"Harry! How did you see my thoughts?"

"I didn't! You put them in my head!"

Severus furrowed his brow. "No, I did not."

"I didn't do anything... I don't know how that happened."

"I think you're more powerful than you realize. I am a very skilled Occlumens and you just invaded my mind without even intending to."

"I'm sorry."

Severus placed Harry's glasses into his hand.

"Are you hungry? It's nearly time for dinner."

"We just had dinner."

"That was yesterday. You've slept nearly a whole day."

Severus pulled himself from under Harry. He sat at the edge of the bed. His body was still and rigid. Harry reached out to touch his shoulder but Severus jerked away. Harry let his hand fall.

"I am sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to."

"I believe you."

He stood and walked to his wardrobe. The doors were blackened from the fires Harry'd started. He pulled a simple robe out and dressed quickly, keeping his body turned away from Harry until he was covered.

"Are you coming? Or should I have the house elves deliver dinner for you here?"

Harry ignored the question. "Forgive me. Please."

"There is nothing to forgive."

"You seem upset with me."

Severus sighed and finally turned to face him.

"I'm upset with myself. I knew I shouldn't have let you see my scars."

"I want all of you. That includes the scars."

Severus gestured to the room around him. "You didn't exactly react well."

"Because of my own guilt, my own issues. I was just surprised is all."

"You were repulsed."

Anger began to well up in his chest. "No, I wasn't!"

"Are you going to get dressed?"

Harry pulled the blankets away. He shivered. His clothes still lie in a heap on the floor. He pulled them on. Severus watched him as he dressed.

"Your shoes are in the sitting room."

Harry walked down the hallway and into the main room. He spotted his shoes and sat down to pull them on.

Severus hovered over him as he tied the laces.

"You kissed a student," Harry said again, staring at the floor.

"He kissed me. I did not return his affections, physically or otherwise."

"When did this happen? Was this recent?"

"Two days ago. I did not enjoy it. In fact, I am still very much angered that he assaulted me in that way."

Harry nodded but continued to stare down at his boots.

"Are you upset with me?"

Harry wanted to tell him he wasn't. He didn't want to be upset. But jealousy ate at him.

Severus circled around the settee. He slowly lowered himself onto his knees before him. He wrapped his hands around Harry's and searched his eyes.

"I apologize that you saw that. If you wish to see the entire memory, I will lower my guards and allow you to do so. I only want you. I've only ever wanted you. I'd not risk losing you by kissing another man. I'd also never kiss a student. I once turned you away too, did I not?"

Harry nodded. "I do believe you. It just hurt to see someone else kissing you."

"If you want to be the only one to ever kiss me like that... you have a choice to make."

Harry grinned, even as tears began to sting his eyes. He sniffled.

"That's what I came here to tell you. I paid the Malfoys off. They won't be bothering us anymore."

"What does that mean?" Severus looked desperate. "Harry," he pleaded. "I need to hear you say it."

"It doesn't matter what my other options are. I will choose you every time." The words had only just left his lips before Severus captured them with his own. He wrapped his arms tight around Harry as they kissed one another.

Severus pulled away slowly. He fought to even his breathing.

Severus took Harry's wrist in his hand. Harry watched his every moment. He knew he'd made the right decision. He knew in his heart that he could never feel for anyone the way he felt for this man. And he knew no one could love him the way Severus did.

This was the life he wanted, the bickering, the passion- all of it.

Severus pulled the bangle from Harry's arm.

"What are you doing? I still want to wear that."

Severus grinned and gave Harry a pointed look that told him to have patience.

Severus then removed his own bangle.

He held them both in his left palm and tapped each one with his wand. He closed his eyes and began to chant in Latin. Harry held his breath. The light at the tip of Severus's wand grew brighter. The bangles lifted to hover slightly over his hand. They circled one another as they shrunk down in size slowly.

Severus ended the incantation and they fell back into his palm as he opened his eyes. He held his hand out to Harry.

The bracelets had become two rings.

Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "Did you... are they wedding bands?"

Severus smiled. "If you wish them to be."


	35. Chapter 35

**_22 May 2000_ **

_Severus Snape and Harry Potter joyfully announce their engagement. The couple had a traditional courtship. The wedding date has not been set._

_**23 May 2000** _

_It seems The Man Who Lived Twice has officially rebuffed his engagement to Draco Malfoy and is now engaged to former death eater Professor Severus Snape. The announcement comes at the end of the courtship, initiated by Severus Snape. Although this reporter still questions the beginnings of said relationship and its_ legitimacy, _it seems as if the two have found real happiness. I offer my sincerest congratulations to the two gentleman. I will update you, dear readers, as I learn more. -Rita Skeeter_

Hermione laughed heartily as she read the two articles aloud. Ron snorted and rolled his eyes.

Harry set down his cup of tea and smiled.

"I hope you know how much trouble you've caused me, Harry."

"I apologize that my relationship has burdened you in any way." Harry chuckled. "But how on Earth has this caused you trouble?"

Ron groaned. "The twins won't let up about how Severus bloody Snape is engaged before I am!"

Harry shrugged. "Sorry, mate, but not my fault that you haven't given a ring to this one yet," he motioned to Hermione.

"Oh no!" Hermione folded her hands in her lap. "An engagement right now doesn't fit into my five year plan."

"This one, I'm tellin ya! I'd've already married her, but she's married to her _five years plan_ , ya see."

"Ah. Understood." He winked at Hermione.

"I'm proud of you, Hermione," Remus said as he took his seat at the table. "It's good to have goals and stick to them. Marriage can wait." He looked at Harry and raised an eyebrow.

"I know, I know." Harry sighed. "We haven't set a date yet. I don't think either of us feel any rush. I've barely seen Severus since I told him my decision, actually. He's been busy with the end of the school year. Preparing students for OWLs and NEWTs. Then I've been at the shop, or here with you lot..."

"It's been nice to have you back, Harry," Hermione placed her hand over his. "We've missed you."

"I've missed you as well. But I hope you all know that I needed that time. I'm still not... not well."

Remus, Sirius, Hermione, and Ron all looked up to face him immediately.

"Not well?" Sirius repeated.

Harry didn't want to talk about this, really. But he knew he needed to be honest with them. He loved them and they deserved to know the truth.

"Draco did isolate me a bit. He did control me. But I think it's the only way he knew to help me."

"With what?" Ron asked, his voice sounding a bit too much like his mother's.

"Ever since... ever since the, er, incident."

"You being a horcrux?" Hermione offered.

"Yeah, that. I've been having these sort of... I guess you could call them panic attacks. I've seen a couple of wizarding therapists. Neither could help me. They say it looks sort of like an addiction to dark magic, unforgivables. I've not used them since Voldemort's fall, of course."

"What are these panic attacks like?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"It's difficult to explain. If I get too upset, I start to sort of radiate magic. I make things happen without meaning for them to." He looked at each of them but none said anything. He continued, "I set Severus's bedroom on fire two days ago."

"His bedroom?" Ron waggled his eyebrows. Hermione slapped his arm.

"Not now, Ronald," she hissed.

Harry grinned at his friend but continued explaining.

"That is worrisome," Remus said.

"But not overly so," Hermione added. "Young witches and wizards make things happen all the time. They call it-"

"-wild magic. Yeah, I know."

Hermione nodded. "You have to gain control over it."

Harry snapped his fingers and the lights went out. His friends gasped. He snapped them again, bringing them back on. Harry pointed to Sirius's tea spoon. It lifted into the air. He made a circle in the air with his finger, causing the spoon to rotate. He allowed the spoon to fall back to the table.

"I have control over it," Harry said simply. "Just not when I'm upset. I'm worried I could end up hurting someone."

His friends sat in silence for a long moment.

"Wow, mate. You're doing that all without a wand or incanting."

"We will find a way to help you," Hermione assured.

The others all nodded and hummed in agreement.

"So, back to the important part. You were in Severus's bedroom?" Ron asked cheekily.

Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes.

Harry laughed. "We didn't... ya know. We didn't do that. Not yet."

"Thank Merlin. I don't need to hear these things about my godson. Bad enough hearing Remus and Tonks upstairs every bloody night."

"Oh, please. I set silencing wards."

"I have a vivid imagination."

"That's your problem."

"Are you just not ready, after Draco?" Hermione asked seriously.

"I never, er, with him either."

Ron spewed his tea across the table and into Sirius's face. Sirius closed his eyes in a moment of disgust. Remus cast a drying charm for him.

"You're a virgin?!" Ron squealed.

"Seems that way."

"Wow. Lucky Severus!" Ron teased.

"Can we _please_ change the subject?" Sirius begged.

"Didn't know you to be such a prude."

"Shut up, Moony."

By the end of the night the five found themselves relaxing in the sitting room with drinks in their hands. They talked about relationships, careers, and everything under the sun.

Harry was happy. He was incredibly happy. He had it all. A bookstore he enjoyed, quality time with his friends, and a partner who loved him.

Harry stretched his legs out lazily and placed his feet on the coffee table. He was thoroughly enjoying the moment here with the people who were as close as he'd ever have to a real family, but his thoughts continuously returned to Severus. He wondered what he was doing now, was he still marking essays, or had he stopped for a break? Was he thinking of him, too? Did his heart beat furiously the way Harry's did whenever he thought of those two golden rings tucked away in Severus's wardrobe?

Remus and Hermione spoke at length about their common experiences as Hogwarts professors. Ron and Sirius talked about quidditch, the quality of the whiskey they drank, and about ideas for future pranks. They jumped between topics quickly and effortlessly.

Harry leaned back. He wondered how he could politely disengage himself. He wanted to visit Severus. It was late enough that his students should all be long asleep. He wanted to see him. He needed to.

The conversation ceased immediately at the sound of a loud pop of apparition within the sitting room.

Their heads all jerked in unison towards the source of the sound. Severus stood before them looking absolutely bewildered.

Harry was overcome with joy. He jumped to his feet. Sirius jumped to his as well. "Snape! How the hell did you did you get past my anti-apparition wards?"

"I didn't."

"You bloody well did. They're certainly still in place."

"I was in my office. I can't apparate from Hogwarts. Nor did I intend to do any traveling." Severus looked to Harry speculatively. The others followed his line of sight.

"Harry," Severus spoke softly. "Did you bring me here?"

Harry was startled by the question. "No. I don't think so." Severus took a tentative step closer to him. "I was thinking I missed you... could the bracelets have activated or...?"

"The bracelets that are now rings and neither of us are wearing?"

Harry chewed the inside of his cheek. "Oh. Er..."

"Fuck," Ron said under his breath. "You _are_ powerful."

Severus marched forward quickly. He grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him into the kitchen. Severus closed the door behind them with a bit too much force.

Harry was terrified. Severus had a wild look in his eyes. He'd really fucked up this time. His inability to control his magic had just pulled Severus through two anti-apparition wards, against the man's will.

"I'm sorry, Severus! Please don't be upset!" He pleaded desperately.

Severus pinned him against the back of the door.

"I'm not upset. I just couldn't wait another moment to do this." Severus smiled wickedly before wrapping Harry in his arms and kissing him passionately. Harry relaxed as soon as their lips met. He returned the affection eagerly.

Severus pulled away slowly. He rested his forehead against Harry's. Both men fought to even their breathing. "You must have missed me terribly," Severus said between breaths.

"Yes. Terribly," Harry agreed.

"Although... you do need to get a grasp on your magic." Severus chucked. "Luckily I was alone."

"You better have been."

Severus rolled his eyes exaggeratedly but offered Harry a sincere grin.

"What did you do to bring me to you?"

Harry felt warmth rise in his cheeks. "I just thought that I missed you and wanted to be with you."

"I wanted to be with you, too."

"Tell me more," Harry attempted a teasing tone but he instantly groaned inwardly in embarrassment at his own words.

"Don't be too flattered. Anything is better than the essays my mind was subjected to this evening." Severus laughed and stepped backwards, releasing Harry from his hold. He motioned toward the door. The others were surely waiting for them.

Harry pulled the door open. The three others now stood in a tight circle speaking in hushed tones. Harry shuddered. It reminded him of the Order meetings.

His mind was overtaken by memories. Not particularly pleasant ones. A time when Harry was convinced of his own demise, waiting on the settee for Draco to be released from the meeting. A time when Harry felt utterly out of control. He began to tremble. His hand shot out involuntarily and grabbed Severus's hand. He closed his eyes and took deep, measured breaths.

"Ground yourself, Harry," Severus whispered in his ear. He squeezed Harry's hand. "You are safe. Everything is alright." Harry nodded but squeezed his eyes shut tighter. "You are with me," he continued. "You are with me and I love you."

Harry grinned. He took one last deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Severus's dark eyes watched him carefully. His brow was furrowed with concern. Harry had never seen anyone more attractive than Severus Snape in this moment. "I love you, too." Harry whispered. Severus leaned forward and placed a kiss between his eyebrows.

He finally turned his attention back to his friends. They all looked between one another and back to Harry.

"Alright?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. I'm great." Harry smiled at them but turned back to Severus. "I'm sleepy."

The older man's eyes widened, clearly taken aback by the sudden non sequitur. Severus glanced to the door leading to Harry's bedroom. Harry chewed his lip. He didn't want to be alone. The bed on the other side of that door is not the one he hoped to sleep in tonight.

"We could...?" Severus's words trailed off.

"Could we... Hogwarts?"

Severus released a small breath of relief.

"Looks like they've got the right idea!" Ron jostled Hermione.

She sighed exasperatedly. "Come on, then."

They each said their goodbyes. Severus and Harry stepped through the floo and into Severus's sitting room.

The living quarters were dimly lit, the only light coming from the fire crackling in the fireplace. Although it was May, the dungeons of Hogwarts remained cold throughout the year. Both men stood and stared at one another for a long moment. Severus looked deep in thought. The light from the fire flickered over Severus's features. Harry watched the light and shadows dance together against his skin. He wanted to continue what had begun back in the kitchen but he didn't dare move. He stood still, allowing Severus whatever time he needed.

Finally Severus spoke. "We need to find the cause of your uncontrollable magic."

"I know."

"There might be consequences if we don't."

"I know."

"Its going to take time and work."

"I know."

"But, not tonight. Tonight, I need..."

Harry's heart raced. He stepped closer. "Need what? Whatever it is, it's yours. Anything at all."

"One simple night with my fiancé."

"Fiancé," Harry repeated, enjoying hearing that word on Severus's lips. "I think we can manage one night."


	36. Chapter 36

Severus led Harry to the bedroom. A small fire burned in the fireplace.

Severus would be a liar if he said he wasn't hopeful to have their physical relationship evolve tonight. But he knew how much Harry had been through. And they'd only been properly in a relationship less than a week. He could be patient if he needed to be. Just holding Harry was more than he could have hoped for.

Harry stood before Severus. His fingers trembled as he unbuttoned the top of his own robe.

"Should I...?" Harry began cautiously. Severus would love to watch Harry disrobe but he easily saw how unsure he was.

"Let us get comfortable for now. I have extra pyjamas if you'd like to wear them."

Harry smiled gratefully.

The familiar sound of a house elf appearing stopped Severus from turning towards his wardrobe.

"One night! One blasted night!" Severus waved his wand with irritation, opening the bedroom door. A house elf bounced nervously in the hallway.

"Sorry to interrupt, sir! The headmaster wishes to see you, sir!"

"Could it wait?" He growled.

"He says it is urgent!"

"Fine! I'm coming."

Severus ran his hands down over his face. The house elf disapparated.

"I apologize."

"It's fine. I understand. " Harry rubbed Severus's upperarm. "I'll walk with you."

"Are you sure? You could stay here and relax, if you want. I know you're tired."

"It's fine, I'll walk with you. It'll be like a role reversal."

Severus chuckled at the unintended innuendo.

The two walked in peaceful silence until they came to the entrance to Albus's office.

Harry waited in the corridor. Severus stepped inside.

Albus paced the floor, as he was prone to doing.

"Hagrid caught one of your students out in the forbidden forest this evening."

"I did a headcount earlier in the evening. All were accounted for."

"It seems one of them made their way out shortly after, then."

Severus sighed. "Which one?"

"Basil Jarvis."

"Of course it was. I'm trusting you've doled out a punishment and sent him to bed?"

"I'll leave that to you when you take Madame Pomfrey a vial of the antidote for Red Bat Mushrooms. She's already ran out, you see. He's fine for now, but it'll be time for his next dose soon."

"That fool wandered out, alone, into the Forbidden Forest to... what? Eat poisonous mushrooms?"

"Seems that way. I could find no motive. Whenever I questioned him he laughed like a madman."

"The mushrooms could have him feeling a bit inebriated or, more likely, is that he _is_ a madman and this is a game to him."

Albus nodded, but Severus could see that his thoughts were not in this room.

"You could have simply asked the house elf to take the antidote to the infirmary. Why did you really call me here?"

Albus stroked his beard and peered over his glasses at Severus.

"How did you apparate through the wards earlier this evening?"

Severus hesitated. He didn't want to tell Albus about Harry's struggles. It wasn't his place. Still, he found no way around it.

"I didn't. I was magically summoned."

Albus chuckled as if that were absolutely absurd.

Severus sighed. "Harry pulled me through the wards. He's more powerful than any of us could have ever believed possible."

Albus's eyes widened in surprise.

"As I marked essays, Harry sat at 12 Grimmauld. He desired my presence. Then, without my involvement, I was pulled through both sets of wards and found myself standing right before him."

"An _Accio Severus_?" Albus mused.

"Effectively, yes."

"Perhaps ask him to think better of doing that again. If you'd had an audience, that would have raised many questions."

"It was unintentional. I cannot tell you more than that. I'm not sure even he knows more than that."

"He needs to learn to control it." Albus wasn't angry, but he looked deeply worried.

"We know."

Severus descended the stairs. Harry stood up from where he'd made himself comfortable on the floor.

Severus accio'd the antidote to him.

"I need to take this to the infirmary. One of my more... troublesome... students decided to have an adventure in the forbidden forest this evening."

"Sounds familiar," Harry laughed.

"Doesn't it just?"

"I can return to your rooms. I don't want to interfere when you have a student to care for."

Severus wrapped his long fingers around Harry's. "Actually, I'd like you to come with me."

Harry looked at him quizzically. He must have seen that he was concerned.

"It's the one who attempted to kiss me," Severus whispered. "I honestly don't wish to find myself alone with him again."

Harry took his hand and pulled him in the direction of the infirmary.

It was a new feeling, to so openly hold his hand without fearing being seen. He wondered how he'd ever doubted his ability to be this type of partner for Harry.

Harry released his hand outside of the door to the medical wing.

"Go," Harry mouthed. "I will be here."

Severus pulled the vial from his robe pocket and stepped inside.

The rows of beds were empty save for the last one on the left next to the largest window. The moonlight flooded in. Madame Pomfrey took the vial from him, cast the incantation and administered it to Jarvis.

She turned to Severus and pursed her lips. "I'll let you handle this one."

Once they were alone, Severus pulled on his professor mask.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking?"

The young man laughed and turned his head to the side, his wavy hair falling across his face. His eyes were glazed over, and had to search a bit too hard to find Severus's.

"I was waiting for you," he purred.

"Do not make me repeat myself. I want to know what you were doing out after hours, in the Forbidden Forest, eating something that could have killed you!"

Jarvis pulled his hand from under the stiff white blanket and reached out for him. Severus stepped out of his reach.

"I knew," he began to giggle again. "I knew you'd come."

"Yes. I had to. I am your head of house, and I had the antidote you needed in my possession."

Jarvis hummed contentedly. He began to move his head and feet in mismatched rhythm as if he were moving along with a happy tune.

"Answer me!" Severus demanded, a bit too loudly, interrupting Jarvis's humming and dancing.

"I did, Severussssss." He slurred.

"Professor Snape!" He corrected. "And all you've said is-"

"-that I was waiting for you." He smiled coyly. "I had to get you alone again."

"Wha-"

"-you tease me constantly. The way you roll your sleeves up when you give us instructions. How you stick that tongue of yours out just a tad when you're thinking really hard. You can't pretend you don't know what you're doing to me."

"It's entirely unintentional, believe me." Unbelievable anger began to well up inside of him. He'd love to smack that drunken smile from his face.

"Didn't you enjoy our kiss?"

"Your _assault_ , you mean? I can assure you I utterly detested it. I still have half a mind to have you expelled! But I loathe paperwork and you'll matriculate in just a few weeks anyways." Severus scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I am at a loss for words. You nearly killed yourself in an attempt to get me alone so that you could continue your misguided and unwanted advances!"

The smile never slid from his face.

"I touch myself at night when I think about you. Maybe I could show you some time."

Severus opened his mouth to continue his verbal lashing but he was interrupted.

"Severus, will you wait in the hallway please?" Harry stood by him, smiling sweetly. "I'd like to have a few words with Mr Jarvis here."

Severus was taken aback but he conceded. He excused himself to wait in the corridor but he peered into the room inconspicuously.

Harry leaned over the student menacingly.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Yes, but you don't impress me."

Harry chuckled. He lifted his right palm towards the ceiling. Every flame from the dozens of candles around the room extinguished in unison. Harry clasped his hand tight and placed it in front of Jarvis. He reopened his hand slowly, exposing a perfect orb of flames in his palm.

"I just snatched these flames out of the air as if it were nothing. I did this without a wand, without so much as speaking a word. Imagine how easy it would be for me to remove your empty head from your body. I could, ya know. They call me the saviour. I could do it and face no consequences."

Jarvis suddenly looked significantly less pleased with himself. Harry released the flames like releasing a wounded bird. The candles were lit once more.

"I do not take kindly to others touching what is mine. Am I understood?"

Jarvis nodded, his eyes round as saucers.

Severus was in awe at the scene before him. He'd never seen Harry behave so aggressively. And it was in his defense, no less.

"Do you know what happens next?"

Jarvis shook his head slowly. "N-n-no."

"No?"

"No, sir."

"Well, then. Let me enlighten you. You leave Hogwarts in two weeks. I will marry Severus. You will never so much as look in his general direction again. And you will never breathe a word about our little visit, or else I will-" Harry twisted his hand in the air, as one would pull a cherry from a tree branch. The drapes around the room all twisted tighter and tighter until they snapped away from the windows. Jarvis squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

"Good night," Harry called over his shoulder as he left the room. As an afterthought Harry twisted his hand over his head once more, replacing the drapes to their respective windows.

"Harry..." Severus wasn't quite sure what to say first. He had so many thoughts fighting to break free.

"Don't worry. I'd never really hurt him."

"I'm sure. But that was impressive."

Harry smiled shyly. "Thanks."

"And I think it's the answer."

Harry cocked his head to the side in question.

"Your uncontrollable magic..."


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be an explicit scene in this chapter. If that makes you uncomfortable, I'll mark it with lines so that you can skip over that section.

"I need Hermione," Severus sighed as he paced the floors of his sitting room.

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned back against the settee. "Not this again."

Severus stepped in his tracks and turned to Harry.

"Did I make you jealous again? It was unintentional."

Harry laughed derisively. "No, not jealous. We've been in a real relationship for nearly a week now. We haven't spent a single night together- well, except that one after I set your room on fire, but that doesn't count! Anyways, it's late. I've been sitting here for an hour watching you walk back and forth." Harry pushed himself to stand and crossed the room to step into Severus's path. He grabbed his hands.

Harry tilted his head to look over his glasses into Severus's eyes. "I'm going to go home now. Try to get some rest."

His brow furrowed. "You said you wanted to sleep here."

"I did. I do! I have to be awake early to open the shop. And it doesn't look like you'll be done here any time soon."

"I've upset you." Severus was clearly nervous and concerned, but he was frantic as well. Harry knew his brain was firing idea after idea around in his head about his problem with the wild magic. He also knew that when Severus was like this, there was nothing he could do to calm him.

Harry felt broken. He was something for Severus to fix. He knew he had a problem, but he always had a problem. There would always be problems. He just wanted Severus to be with him in the moment.

"No," Harry said calmly. "I need sleep."

"Don't..." Severus sighed. "Don't withhold your thoughts from me. I see that I've upset you somehow. You're doing us both a disservice by not being honest about what I've done."

Harry's eyes fell to Severus's hands in his own. He was right. He needed to be honest.

"I do want to get this under control. But both times that I've tried this with you... you spend all your time trying to fix me instead of getting to know me."

"I do know you, Harry."

Harry nodded and smiled sadly. He kissed Severus's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Harry didn't wait for an answer before he floo'd himself back to number 12 Grimmauld.

He loved Severus. And he knew Severus showed his affection through problem solving. But it wasn't the problem solving that Harry needed. At the safehouse and bored? Ask Albus for books and whiskey rather than offer conversation. Scared of a relationship? Push Harry away. Harry has uncontrollable magic? Ask Hermione for help.

It always felt that Severus ran _away_ from him rather than _to_ him. Harry's instinct was to give Severus space to figure this out on his own, but it had been years and he still just didn't quite get it. He'd have to talk to him, but not tonight. His genius mind was too far gone for Harry to reach him for the evening.

Remus and Sirius had obviously retired for the evening. Harry took a book from the coffee table, stretched out along the sofa and began to read. His eyes grew weary, his eyelids heavy. Just this last chapter... just one more page... and Harry was asleep.

His sleep was deep, and peaceful. But all too short. His dream began to dissipate as he felt something moving gently across his hairline. Then his cheekbone. Harry moved his hand as if to make the sensation stop. But it continued. He yawned and began to blink his eyes open. His eyes struggled to adjust, but soon they found Severus hovering over him. His hair was tucked behind his ears, a kind grin played on his lips.

Harry realized Severus was on his knees beside him, reminding him of the night he'd turned Harry's bracelet to a ring.

"Hello," Severus whispered.

"Hi," Harry offered in a raspy voice.

"Look," Severus continued in a lowered volume. "You don't need to be fixed. But anything that plagues you, I want to fix it. It's the only way I know to show you how I feel. I can try to work on that. I want to make you happy."

Harry blinked slowly once more, unsure if he was still dreaming. He determined he was definitely awake, and that was definitely Severus leaning over him in the wee hours of the morning.

"Okay," was all Harry could muster. He was exhausted.

"That's it, correct? Why you left tonight?"

Harry nodded minutely. His eyes began to drift closed again. "What time is it?"

"Around six. Sun should be up soon."

"Wha- why? You here? Were you," he yawned involuntarily. "Up all night?"

Severus chuckled. "I'm sorry I woke you. I spent some time with Hermione in the library this evening, but I wanted your face to be the last one I see before I go to sleep."

Harry's eyes were closed. He was fighting hard against sleep, but he smiled in acknowledgement of Severus's romantic words. He loved Severus. He would always love him.

He felt Severus kiss his lips. Too late he moved to return the kiss. Severus noticed and chuckled. He kissed Harry again, and Harry kissed him in return. But when Severus pulled away this time, he hovered over Harry closely. Harry lifted his head less than a hair's breadth to kiss Severus again. Severus was his now. His to kiss how and when he wanted. And he belonged to Severus in return. This kiss turned quickly from chaste, to sweet, to urgent. Harry's eyes opened finally. Sleep was now abandoned. His cock had awoken as well. Harry wrapped his arms around Severus's neck. They kissed one another deeply, with need and passion. Harry turned his body as they kissed. He found himself sitting, his feet on the floor. Severus kneeled between Harry's legs, his hands kneading into Harry's arse cheeks, pulling his hips against himself.

* * *

Their cocks met through their clothing, grinding slowly but with force and desire. Harry broke away, panting. His love moved to nibble and suck at his neck. Harry moaned. Severus's ministrations could make him come right now. Before Harry could wrap his mind around the idea of slowing down, Severus began to work away Harry's clothes, beginning with his belt.

Severus licked at the hollow of Harry's neck.

"Wait, Wait!" Harry breathed. "Remus... and... up... they're upstairs."

Severus growled excitedly. He pulled Harry's knees closer to him, forcing him to wrap his legs around his slender waist. He held onto Harry's arse and lifted him effortlessly. Harry gasped. It'd been some time since he'd been lifted or carried. Severus returned his mouth to Harry's even as he carried him through the dark sitting room.

Severus's thigh caught the edge of the bookshelf, causing the back of it to slam heavily against the wall. The books rattled loudly. He used Harry's back to push the kitchen door open. Harry's head hit first. It didn't hurt, but a thud reverberated through the house.

"Shit. Sorry," Severus whispered against his lips. Harry giggled.

Severus set Harry onto the kitchen counter. They continued to move their clothed cocks against the other. Severus pulled Harry's jumper and t-shirt together up over Harry's head. They caught the edges of Harry's glasses. They clattered to the floor. Harry unbuttoned the top of Severus's robes as the older man kissed along his chest. He'd finally unbuttoned enough and he pushed the robe down Severus's shoulders and it fell to the ground. Severus stepped out of it then toed off his boots. Harry had removed his own earlier in the night. He moved his hands down to begin relieving his love of trousers. His hand immediately, albeit accidentally, grasped his cock. He felt his face become warm with embarrassment. Which was absurd, given their current activity and relationship status. But Harry didn't remove his hand. He pressed and rubbed his palm against Severus's member.

"You'd better stop. I wouldn't want this to end too soon."

Harry obeyed and instead moved his hand to push down Severus's trousers and underwear. Harry leaned back enough that Severus could pull his trousers off and down to his ankles. Harry kicked them off. Both men were now fully disrobed. Harry's bare arse splayed over his godfather's kitchen counter, with his lover stood between his legs. It was too dark to see much in the kitchen, but Harry felt the other mans cock against his thigh. He wrapped his hand around it and both men gasped at the contact. Harry'd not touched another man in this way before. His hard, aching prick twitched violently. The older man's member lay heavy in his palm. He felt that it was thick, and a quite large vein ran down the side of the shaft and towards the swollen, and leaking, head. Harry stroked it gently.

"Fuck, Harry."

Harry smiled into the darkness. "What... er, what should I do now?"

Severus pulled himself gently from Harry's grasp. His knees knocked against the cabinet doors beneath Harry as he leaned forward. Harry felt the black hair fall against his abdomen. Quickly his own cock was enveloped in Severus's expert mouth. Harry gasped. His head fell backwards, slamming against the cabinet behind his head. He let out a low, primal growl.

"Severus! Fuck!" Harry felt the head of his dick push through the narrow opening to Severus's throat. Still the man continued to suck. He lifted his head slowly, sucking and swirling his tongue around Harry's shaft. When his lips met the sensitive underside of the head of his dick, Severus moved his head back down and continued to take Harry down his throat. Harry yelped. "Okay! Okay, you'll make me-!"

Harry fell from Severus's mouth with a dull pop. The older man chuckled seductively before capturing Harry's mouth once more. Severus's hands moved along his inner thigh. He felt goose skin rise along his entire body at Severus's teasing touches. His right index finger teased along Harry's balls, then back to the the crack of his arse.

Harry jumped a bit, startled by the touch. Severus withdrew his hand.

"Do you prefer to top?" Severus whispered, as if it were a normal question one could ask in polite conversation.

Harry shrugged before remembering Severus likely couldn't see the gesture.

"I don't know."

"Either way is fine," Severus assured.

"Severus. I don't know."

Harry was panting, and his heartbeat pulsed through his body powerfully. Severus kissed along Harry's collar bone. "What's your preference?" He asked again between kisses.

"I don't have one. I haven't done either."

Finally Severus removed his mouth from Harry's chest.

"You've never...?"

Thankfully, Severus didn't seem disgusted. Which is what Harry had feared. "Do you still want me?"

"It doesn't matter to me if you've had none or a thousand lovers. But tell me that you're positive you wish me to be your first."

"It's what I've wanted for years." Harry doubted he'd ever felt true desire towards anyone other than Severus. Yes, he was sure. Severus would be his first. And his only.

Severus's mouth attacked Harry's in a bruising kiss, teeth gnashing, lip splitting. He pulled Harry close to him with one arm, and adjusted the tilt of his bottom with the other. Harry leaned back a bit. Severus returned his finger to Harry's bottom, quickly finding the tight puckered skin. His finger moved over the hole effortlessly, without friction.

Severus pulled his mouth away. He relaxed his forehead against Harry's. Both men were panting.

"You already lubed yourself for me," Severus purred, obviously thrilled.

"Wild magic," Harry explained. He took a deep shaky breath. 

His lover pushed his long finger inside of him. He allowed Harry to become comfortable before adding a second, then a third.

The sensation of sharing something so intimate, being touched somewhere that'd never been touched by another; was thrilling to Harry. His heart raced. His skin felt cold where the sweat began to evaporate from his skin.

He pushed down against Severus's hand again and again. The soreness was quickly replaced by tantalizing pleasure. Harry wanted more and he let it be known.

"Fuck me! Severus, now! I want you!"

Severus's sharp teeth pressed into Harry's shoulder as he pushed forward slowly into Harry's opening. Once he'd adjusted, Severus began to thrust into Harry. His knees slammed into the cabinet doors with each thrust, beating out a quick but steady rhythm. The sensation was a dull ache that slowly began to ease. He'd never felt so full before, and he found that he loved the feeling.

Harry's head fell back. He screamed and moaned in ecstasy. His lover's tongue and teeth covered his upper torso with affection. Harry squeezed his eyes closed. He saw fireworks behind his eyelids with each powerful knock against his prostate.

Severus's arm snaked up Harry's back. He tangled his long fingers into Harry's hair. He held him against him. They were chest to chest, Harry's legs around Severus's waist, with his cock buried deep in Harry's arse.

The pleasure was beginning to overtake him.

"Severus! Fuck! I'm... I'm going to..."

Severus's left hand took Harry's cock in a tight grip and pumped his cock in motion with his own thrusts.

"Yesss. That's it, my love. Come for me. Come for me, Harry."

And Harry did, spurting pearly, warm come across Severus's chest.

"Harry!" Severus called out. He thrust one last time into Harry, filling him with his own come.

The two men collapsed against one another, sweaty, panting.

Severus began to chuckle between laboured breaths. "I love you."

Harry eyes stung. Fuck, he didn't want to cry.

"I love you, too."

Severus moved silently to help Harry down from the counter, then helped him locate his clothes.

Harry nearly cast a cleansing spell over himself, but found that he rather liked the feeling of Severus's ejaculate leaking from him.

Severus helped Harry pull his t-shirt back on. He kissed his cheek.

"Harry? You're crying..."

"No, I-" Harry chuckled awkwardly. "I'm happy. I promise."

"I only hope that I made it pleasurable for you."

Harry didn't feel particularly different, the way he expected he would. The only difference, other than an aching bum, was how connected he felt to Severus now. Like they'd overcome the final barrier to finding a blissful future together.

"You have made everything worth it. Years ago, I was content to let life slip away from me. It seemed easier. But then you changed everything. I fought. I fought for you, Severus. Even after we spent two years apart- you were worth it. You were worth the wait, the fighting, everything. I finally have you now. It was all worth it."

Severus wrapped Harry in a tight embrace. Harry began to sob freely into his scarred shoulder.

"I have you," Harry choked out. "I have you now. I'll never let you go!"

He couldn't quite explain the sudden overwhelming emotion. He suspected it might be one side effect of losing one's virginity, but he knew it was more than that.

"You have me, Harry. Always. And I have you."

"Always," Harry agreed.


	38. Chapter 38

Harry pulled Severus sleepily into his room that he still maintained at Grimmauld.

Harry pulled back the blanket and they both slid beneath it for warmth. The bed was narrow, forcing their proximity, but Severus would have held Harry close regardless. Severus gingerly placed his hand against Harry's bearded jaw and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

The sun was beginning to rise, casting a lavender light into the room.

Harry nestled into his pillow and grinned at Severus sleepily.

"Thank you," Harry whispered.

"It's I who should be grateful." Harry's lips were still plump and red. They were irresistible. Severus kissed those lips gently. The two held one another close, Severus's hand at Harry's cheek, Harry's resting atop Severus's hip.

To be Harry's first lover was an unimaginable and unexpected honour. It made him emotional but he attempted to repress those feelings, at least for now. This was about Harry, not him.

Harry adjusted his head once more atop the flat pillow, their noses now nearly touching.

Harry's eyes fluttered closed, his thick eyelashes laying beautifully against his sun kissed skin. He yawned.

"I'm afraid we don't have much time for sleep."

Harry nodded very slightly. "I know. Just... hold me a bit longer."

"I would hold you for the rest of my life if you'd allow it."

Harry's lips turned up in just the smallest of smiles, and soon he was asleep.

Severus felt his chest expand against Harry's with each inhale. Felt Harry's breath across his lips with each exhale.

Harry looked at peace. How long had Severus's only desire been to see Harry happy? And now his desire was reality.

He'd done that.

He'd been the one to bring this beautiful man peace at last.

Oh how he'd love to travel back in time to slap himself and correct the mistake of ever letting him go. He couldn't, of course. But at least they'd found their ways back.

Soon the room was brightened by the sun outside hanging high over head.

He hated to do so, but he shook Harry very gently.

"Time to start the day."

"A little longer," Harry requested without opening his eyes.

"We don't have longer." Severus kissed him softly.

"Mmm," Harry hummed happily. "Do that again."

And Severus acquiesced. Harry wrapped his arm around Severus's waist and pulled him closer. "I don't want to face the world today. I want to lie here with you. Maybe have a repeat of last night." Harry giggled.

"Again so soon?"

Harry nodded emphatically. He finally opened his eyes.

Just as Severus's cock felt the first wave of arousal, the sounds of Remus and Sirius coming down the stairs interrupted them.

Harry groaned and chuckled. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes.

"The real world calls," he bemoaned.

The two stood and smoothed out their clothing and pulled on their boots.

Harry stepped first into the kitchen, with Severus right behind.

Neither of the gentleman already at the table seemed surprised to see him. They both hung their heads sleepily over cups of coffee, grunting with sideways glances at the two men entering the room.

"What's got you both so sour?" Harry asked with a wide smile as he poured himself and Severus cups of coffee.

"Likely the same reason you're so chipper," Sirius stated plainly. Harry looked at him questioningly. It was Remus who answered.

"We could hear your... er... your..."

"The fucking," Sirius interrupted. "We heard you fucking all damn morning."

"Sirius!" Remus squealed.

"It's true! Be blunt about it! The two of ya had every cabinet in here rattling about. It was lunacy!"

Severus would have blushed if he were capable. He and Sirius were no longer enemies, but he'd hate to disrespect the man by waking him with the sounds of his godson being deflowered on his kitchen counter. Severus looked into his lap. Harry broke out into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"Why... didn't you..." Harry couldn't speak through the laughter. He laughed a moment longer then sighed and regained his composure, though a giddy grin still overtook his face. "Why didn't you set just put some silencing charms around your rooms?"

Remus sighed, "First off, Harry, the silencing charms are your responsibility. Secondly, after the first of the rumbling, I did set a charm around my room. Dunno about Sirius," Sirius hummed in agreement that he had. "But every light and candle in the house flickered off and on through the duration."

Harry's smile fell. "That wasn't me. I didn't do that."

Remus shook his head. "Might have been unintentional, but it was you."

Harry chewed his lip. He looked utterly deflated. Severus reached across the table for Harry's hand but Harry pulled away. "I'm going to fix this. I promise. I'm so sorry." Harry snapped his fingers and he was gone.

"Where'd he go?" Sirius asked, startled.

"My guess would be he went to see Hermione," Severus told them honestly.

Severus's instinct was correct. When he knocked on her door at Hogwarts, it was Harry who answered. He rubbed at his neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

Severus pulled Harry into a bone crushing embrace.

"Don't ever be sorry." He kissed his forehead then released him slowly. Harry stepped away from the door, inviting him in.

Hermione sat at the settee, leaned over her coffee table with a massive tome splayed open before her.

"Harry told me you had an idea as to the cause?"

Severus sighed and took a seat by her. He glanced around and saw that she'd tidied a bit since his last visit.

"It's my theory that he needs to better harness this power. It breaks free when he's overwhelmed because, frankly, he isn't using it."

"They told me it was my addiction to unforgivables."

"I believe it to just be an overflow of magic. But, like an addiction to unforgiveables, a relief is felt when the magic is used rather than suppressed."

"So, I could sort of... tire out my wild magic by using it. Exercising it."

Hermione looked up finally. "It's worth trying. Simple solutions first."

"Room of requirement?" He offered.

Severus helped his students through their OWLs and NEWTs. He bid them goodbye as they left the castle. The last few weeks had ended peacefully. His students performed well in their tests, and Basil Jarvis matriculated without another word to Severus. He and Harry spent their nights in his rooms at Hogwarts though he was usually long asleep before Harry crawled into his bed, and pressed his chilled skin into his for warmth.

Harry spent every free moment after business and school hours with Hermione in the room of requirement practicing his wordless and wandless magic. Though he was busy with students, when he did see Harry he seemed happier, like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders. When he tried to ask him about specifics of his time with Hermione, he'd smile cryptically and tell him all was well.

This would have driven Severus to insanity before, to not know exactly what his partner was doing. But he trusted Harry, and knew he'd talk to him when he was ready.

And so when one Saturday he woke to find Harry already gone, he didn't panic. He went about his day. Which was difficult. It was difficult to be without him for even a moment. When he stood before his class, when he walked through the corridors. He valued his time alone before Harry and was surprised to find how he never quite tired of the young man. His fiancé. He never grew weary of their time together and always desired more of it. He felt more himself with Harry than he ever had when he was alone.

His heart skipped whenever he remembered that one day, he'd be the one lucky enough to marry him.

Not because he was The Boy Who Lived.

Not because he was wealthy.

Not because he was The Saviour.

But because he was Harry.

And Harry loved him.

He closed the book in his lap and he ran his fingers over the engraved leather bound book absentmindedly as he let his mind wander.

He was going to leave Hogwarts. He'd quit teaching and allow his full attention to go towards his business. He would buy a decently sized home and move away with Harry. Somewhere in the mountains, or close to the sea. Harry could have a proper library of his own. Severus would have a potions lab. Harry's loved ones would come visit and he'd enjoy the sounds of Harry laughing over tea as they chatted. Severus would finish whatever potion filled his cauldron so that he could join them. The sun would set and he and Harry would watch it together after waving goodbye to his friends. Then he'd fall asleep holding Harry after telling him he loved him.

His mind was set. That was what the future would hold for them.

He looked at the clock ticking on the mantle. He'd missed supper in the great hall. And he'd still not seen Harry all day.

He pulled on his outer robe and shoes and made his way to find him.

The room of requirement came first in distance but it was empty.

Next to check would be Hermione's rooms. She answered quickly. She told him he'd find Harry in the great hall.

"Dinner ended some time ago."

Hermione shrugged and smiled. "That's where he is."

Severus sighed and turned around to backtrack his path towards the great hall.

The heavy doors were closed. He pushed one open slowly with a loud creak. "Harry?"

He stepped inside the darkened room, which was odd. The candles overhead generally remained burning.

The door groaned as it closed behind him. One by one the candles floating overhead began to burn once more, though they barely illuminated the room. The lighting by any person's standards could be called romantic.

An orb of light sparked at the front of the room, on the first stair of the dais. Severus could now see all of the tables had been moved against the walls as they were during the Yule ball. The orb moved away and up to the staff table to float peacefully atop it. He could now see Harry had been holding the bright orb. He smiled at Severus and stepped off the dais.

"This is what I've been working on," he said as he stepped forward. His voice echoed off of the walls of the empty room. Harry spread his arms and lifted them. A full band of instruments appeared by the Ravenclaw table. Harry circled his hands in the air and they began to play themselves. It was a classical piece Severus couldn't quite name. It was slow and beautiful. Severus walked to Harry and they met towards the center of the room.

"There are so many things I've not been able to experience with you," Harry told him. "You made me fall in love with you years ago. Then you courted me. You've shown me acceptance, support, and love in ways I've never known. I wanted to do something for you in return. I want to make a new memory."

The charm making the instruments play never faltered even as Harry's arms fell to his side, even as he spoke. Severus was in awe.

Harry stepped between Severus's feet, placing them chest to chest.

"May I...?" He asked. He placed one hand in Severus and the other at his hip. Severus, understanding, placed his hand at the small of Harry's back and they began to dance.

Severus didn't know what to say except,"I love you, too, Harry."

He tucked his head of wild hair into the crook of Severus's neck.

"How are you maintaining all of these charms?"

"Control," he responded simply. The music swelled, the standing bass and violin taking lead of the other instruments. Severus had never experienced anything so beautiful and magical. He could literally feel Harry's magic tingling along his skin. This incredible man in his arms was somehow simultaneously powerful to a level of incredulity but also the most gentle human he'd ever known.

Severus kissed his head and continued swaying in rhythm. He knew his heart must be pounding loudly and wondered if Harry could hear it.

"I want to quit teaching," he said before he could stop the words.

"If that is what you want. If it will make you happy. Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere that will bring you peace."

Harry squeezed his fingers tighter against his waist. "I'm happy wherever you are."

Severus was certain he'd never been anyone's peace before. He'd never brought joy or comfort.

Perhaps he and Harry truly were prophesied to be together, even long after the fall of Voldemort. He couldn't see any other way that two people, so different, so set apart in every other way could ever find themselves together and in love.

"Are you positive you want to marry me?" Harry asked suddenly.

Severus stopped. The music stopped. Harry pulled away slightly and looked up. His green eyes exuded so much worry at what his answer might be.

He answered honestly.

"I'd marry you tonight."

Harry stood up on his toes and kissed him.

Severus's heart began to beat impossibly harder.

"Harry, I must know that you are sure as well. My entire heart resides inside your chest. If I ever lose you again it will surely be the death of me. So if you have any reservations, tell me. Tell me now with no hesitation so that I can part with at least some life left in me."

"Severus Snape." Harry chided. His eyes were misty. He looked away briefly then back again. "Can you not see? Can you not see how completely I belong to you?" Harry's eyes suddenly went wide as if remembering something. "I just... you... you'd marry me tonight?"

Severus nodded slowly, confused.

Harry released him then sprinted towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To Dumbledore! Wait! You wait there!"

And Harry was gone.

The candles burned dimmer. The silence was deafening. He stood alone in the great hall. But Harry told him to wait, and so he did. The minutes stretched on but he remained still. Without Harry's warm body pressed against him, he acutely felt the chill of the room. He wrapped his robe around him tighter.


	39. Chapter 39

Severus stared after the door. He felt unsure of himself. What had Harry gone to do? Why did he need Severus to remain here?

The instruments lay lifeless against the Ravenclaw table. The romance of the room had seeped out of the doorway after Harry, leaving the room eerily empty and dark.

Finally, after a long wait, Harry stepped through once more.

He smiled at Severus as the candles and instruments sprung to life once more.

"You see," Harry said triumphantly. "I don't need to be fixed."

"No," Severus agreed as Harry approached. "You're perfect as you are."

Harry took Severus's hand in his own and kissed the back of it. He turned back towards the door. "Kingsley?" He called.

Kingsley stepped into the room, looking very unsure of himself. He looked around the room and his face quickly turned to an expression of awe. "Wow, Harry," he breathed.

"Sorry it took so long," Harry told him. "Kingsley took a bit of convincing."

"What-?"

"I remembered I saw him earlier. He was here visiting Albus. As a ministry official, he can conduct a wedding."

His hands and face suddenly felt cold. "Harry, I-"

"You said you'd marry me tonight." Harry looked as if he felt he'd made a mistake. It broke Severus's heart to see it.

"Harry, of course I would. I will," he amended. "But, your loved ones aren't here. I know how important they are to you."

"Not as important as you. We began this alone. Why do we need anyone else to make it official?" Harry chuckled. "Besides, I feel I ought to marry you before you panic and run away again."

Severus smirked. "Are you trapping me, Harry Potter?"

He shrugged. "Trying to, yeah. Any qualms with that?"

"Absolutely not."

Kingsley led them to the front of the room. The candles twinkled like fairy lights. The music softened to a delicate tune.

He led a quick ceremony, he bound their hands together. Severus kissed his husband.

* * *

_Harry Potter has become Harry Potter-Snape in a small ceremony lead by ministry official Kingsley Shacklebolt at Hogwarts last night. It makes this reporter wonder as to why the ceremony was so rushed, and kept under wraps. What secret is being buried? I shall keep you updated, dear readers._

_Rita Skeeter, Daily Prophet_

Harry sat at the settee, his legs strewn over Severus's, each with a book in their hands. It felt just as it had at the safe house, Severus mused. No expectations, no care of the outside world.

That is, until a knock sounded on his door. Harry startled, which previously would have sparked a magical incident, but this time nothing happened. Harry had it under control. Severus's theory had proven to be correct. Draco's suppression of Harry's magic had exacerbated his problem. But it seemed to be mostly fixed now. Other than Harry's orgasm from the previous night, their wedding night. Harry reached climax, causing the furniture in the room to levitate briefly then slam back to the ground.

_Harry grinned at him shyly, "Practice will make perfect."_

_"Promise?" Severus teased._

_"Oh yes," Harry said before kissing him good night._

Severus groaned as he stood. He pulled the door open to reveal Ron and Hermione.

"Without us?!" Ron demanded, pushing Severus to the side and barreling into the room towards Harry. Hermione shrugged at him in an apology for her boyfriend.

"It wasn't about you," Harry said simply and unapologetic.

"I just figured I was your best mate n all," Ron grumbled.

Hermione took her usual seat. "Sirius won't be too happy."

"He never is," Harry laughed.

"The Quibbler said you two got married so quick because you're pregnant," Ron said.

"What? No! Is that even possible?" He looked to Severus panicked.

Severus shook his head. Harry let out a breath of relief.

Harry and his friends talked for a long while, asking how it had happened. Harry showed them his ring on his left hand. He told them that the rings still harboured the same powers as before. He could reach Severus wherever he might be in the world.

Harry was happy, and Severus loved to see it. A lull in the conversation lead way for Harry to tell them, "We're moving away."

"What?" They both said in surprise.

"I thought the plan was for you to marry Snape, sorry, _Severus_ then live here at Hogwarts, but work at your shop and all that."

"You always said Hogwarts was home," Hermione added.

"There is one place that feels more like home," Harry told them.

Severus was as confused as they were. They'd only barely discussed the option of moving away. Where was home to Harry? Grimmauld? Severus loved Harry, but living there as a married couple seemed absurd.

Harry looked up at Severus who still stood by the fireplace. He smiled beautifully at him. "I went to get Kingsley from Albus's office. He seemed unsure about performing the wedding, but I told them both that we had plans for the future, that we both knew this is what we wanted. And, er, Albus said he understood."

Harry paused, as if Severus would be able to see where this was leading. Finally he continued. "Albus is gifting us the safe house." Harry stood. Severus took a long stride across the sitting room. He wrapped his arms around his young husband and looked into those brilliant green eyes. He pressed his forehead to Harry's and took a deep breath. "When do we go?" He whispered.

"Whenever you wish."

* * *

Severus handed Albus his official letter of resignation. The old man took it and shook his hand before pulling him into a warm hug.

"Come visit occasionally."

"No promises there."

Albus laughed kindly.

"What possessed you to give us the home?"

Albus sighed and sat at his desk. "I've no children of my own to leave it to. You and Harry have both been like children to me and... and I've not always done right by either of you. To be blunt, I've used you. I've used him. I had honourable reasons, of course, but you both deserved more than that. From me. From the world. Where would any of us be right now if it weren't for the two of you? I can think of no one who deserves happiness more than you and Harry. Take the home, make it yours, make one another happy."

Severus thanked him and turned to leave the office but Albus stopped him. "Oh, and Severus? I do love you. Always have."

Severus's lips parted to respond. He loved Albus in his own way. But he couldn't quite get the words to come out the way they so easily came out for Harry. He closed his mouth and nodded. "Goodbye, Albus."

* * *

Harry could have maintained his shop on his own, floo into the flat upstairs every morning and floo home every evening, but he was ready to cut his ties with the town. With the world, really. He looked around the shop. It was surprising how quickly the dust settled after only a few days of not being in. He turned on the lights and walked through the shelves. He hired Luna Lovegood to run the shop for him. He'd asked Remus, but he'd politely declined. He left a few notes around the shop for Luna. Tomorrow would be her first day running it. He was sure it would be overrun with books on mythological creatures soon enough, but he didn't mind. He chuckled at the thought.

He walked up the old, creaky stairs. A few boxes of Luna's things were gathered at the door. He flicked his hand and they moved to the side. He opened the door and flicked on the lights. The flat was empty, save for the settee and Harry's desk. He'd leave those here for Luna's use. He walked through the flat slowly.

His time with Draco hadn't been wholly horrible, had it? Draco didn't exactly deserve sympathy, according to his friends or Severus- but Harry hadn't been a proper partner to Draco either. He never loved him the way a partner should. He was distant, at times he was cold. He hoped Draco didn't completely regret their time together. He hoped to one day see a wedding announcement of Draco's, assuring Harry that he was happy and healthy. Harry stepped into his old room, across the hall from Draco's. The bed was stripped of all sheets, blankets, and pillows. But a folded note lay atop it.

He opened it without hesitation. He knew Draco's handwriting.

_Harry,_

_I withheld things from you. But I never outright lied to you. I did love you. I still do. I will say with absolute sincerity that I hope you and Severus have found happiness together._

_I am bitter. I am not too Slytherin to admit that. I think I could have one day made you happy. But even if I couldn't, I'm glad that Severus can. Be well, Harry. I will miss you always. Perhaps one day we can push aside the bitterness and be friends. I know that day will not be soon._

_If, for whatever reason, you find that you'd like to reach out for me, I will be here._

_Love,_

_Draco L Malfoy_

Harry sighed. He tossed it into the air. It immobilized and hovered overhead. He pointed to the letter and watched it burn. The ashes fell to the mattress, forming a neat pile of grey dust. He pushed his hand out, opening the window and watched the ashes stream out into the warm air outside. He formed a fist and the window closed.

* * *

They'd been married twelve years today. Severus didn't particularly care for flowers, but Harry saw the way he would hesitate over the bouquets of irises when they walked through the market on Saturdays. He stopped and bought a bouquet.

He stepped through the door of the safehouse, as they still warmly called it. He looked around the sitting room. The delicious smell of pasta wafted through the house. It was tradition that they make pasta on holidays, as they'd lived on it while tucked away here so many years ago.

"I'm home!" Harry called out.

"Food's almost ready," Severus called back.

Harry followed the sound and smell into the kitchen. He handed Severus his wrapped gift and bouquet of irises and kissed his lips.

Severus looked over the gifts approvingly. "I have a gift for you, too. Open them after we eat?"

Harry nodded and took his seat at the table.

"How'd you know I liked them?" He asked as he placed the irises into a vase and filled it with cool water.

"I've seen you look at them in the market. Why are they the only ones you like?"

Severus placed the vase on the table and smiled. "My mother grew them in her garden."

"Twelve years together, and I still learn something new about you every day."

"Every day?" Severus challenged, an eyebrow raised. "And what did you learn yesterday?"

"That you really, really, _really_ like it when I do that thing with my tongue..."

"Perhaps I'll let you do it again tonight, if you're lucky."

"If _you're_ lucky, you mean."

Severus bent to kiss Harry's cheek. "Oh, I am. I am very lucky."


	40. Chapter 40

_Harry Potter-Snape was spotted at the Three Broomsticks yesterday having lunch with the married Hermione Granger-Weasley. Has he found a new love? Are he and former Death Eater, Severus Snape, on the fritz? Does he plan to oust Snape the way he once left Draco Malfoy? This raises many questions! The two looked overly friendly, this reporter thinks! Will keep you updated, dear readers._

_Rita Skeeter_

Hermione chuckled. How did Skeeter still come up with such outrageous stories about Harry after all these years? She threw the newspaper into the trash bin.

"Professor?"

Hermione looked up from her desk to face her runes class. "Yes?"

"Is it true Harry Potter is your friend?"

Hermione nodded and smiled. "My best friend."

"Really?!" The young Gryffindor smiled wide and looked around frantically to her friends who also smiled and giggled excitedly. "You were really there for the final battle and everything?"

"I was, yes."

The final battle happened sixteen years ago now, five years before these students were even born.

"Is it true about him?" Asked a Ravenclaw boy.

"Is what true?"

"You know, that he married a Death Eater and now he lives out in the mountains like some kind of recluse..." the young boy meant no offense, of course. Hermione laughed.

"That is partially true. Being as famous as he is, for as long as has been... it took its toll. He prefers a quiet, private life. And yes, he married Severus Snape. But Severus was only briefly a Death Eater. After a year or so, he changed sides. He was a spy for the light."

"Duh," said the platinum haired Ravenclaw, Quincy Malfoy, to his friend. "That's why he got the Order of Merlin."

Hermione nodded. "Right you are. You see, there is always time to realize your mistake and correct it. If you all are so interested in Harry, I could have him come say hello one day. He owns Emerald Books, did you know? He's in Hogsmeade sometimes."

The class gasped and began to whisper to one another excitedly.

"And is it true," asked another Gryffindor boy, "That he can blink and cause the whole world to explode?!" He asked as if it were the coolest thing he'd ever heard.

"No," Hermione laughed. "That's just a rumour."

_**The End** _


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